Sunday, May 29, 2005

• "We're Definately not in Kansas any more..."

  Here is some thing to think about... I have been down in Ames for the past two weeks and done more then I've done in many summers in my life.  I'm beginning to grow up better as a gay man and realizing that what I find in Iowa or Boston or Minneapolis isn't for me... at least not now.  I'm twenty three fucking years old and I have a long ways to go in my life; I do not need to be bombarded with setting myself up for a relationship or gathering the bits and pieces of what men want.  A good friend of mine down here told me that life makes for a lot of mistakes, you might as well do them while you are young.  I must admit, while hanging out with the gay mafia and Big John, I've had a lot of fun.

  My God, I am almost done with this shit... this fricken state and all of its bullshit that it brings with.  And then finally I can go to Santa Barbara or Philadephia or Boston and work for Clear Channel being an event planner - doing things that only people dear of doing.  While I was in St. Louis a weekend ago I realized how fucked up the midwest is, every one acts so fake and immature, while the rest of the country is polite and actually takes the time to listen to what you have to say.  There is bullshit every where in the world, but the south, at least, does it with a little southern charm.  Thank God I have friends like John and Chifford and Chuck who pull me along for life advantures, telling me to forget every thing that happened and move on.  I can't even describe to you what the meaning of a sincere person does to a insecure person like me.  Because of them I'm starting to realize the real things in life, the important things that need to be handled accordingly, and the way I should and should not be treated.

  And you know, I couldn't ask for any thing better then to spend my summer in Ames because this is exactly what I needed and wanted... even if I remain single here for the next seven months.  I just can't wait to show all you fucking retards out there that never gave me the time a day what you missed come ten, fifteen, or twenty years down the road.  When you are stuck still living in your shanty house all by yourself with nothing to show for but a minimum wage job at Arby's and a velvet shirt you wear to the club to bring home a sixty year old guy who just wants to fuck your brains out;  I'll just look your way, smile and maybe say hello (ask the generic questions) and wish you the best of luck. 

  There are a lot of great people out there that don't realize it, and I'm one of them (and I'm not being cocky).  For those that continue to put a blind eye toward people who did nothing but treat you the way they wanted to be treated... shame on you.  Hopefully, someday, you will wake up and realize there is more to life then what make-up you wear and what clothes you have on your back and how pretty of a face he has... and allow for your own self to get to know some one beyond there first impression and not a heartless bitch.

  And with that, when I'm not in such a inspirational mood, I'll go ahead and write about the events of the past two weeks.  I really hope every one is having a great time... I know I am and I am looking forward to the next road trip this weekend.

  Bri

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