Thursday, October 27, 2005

• To some one that might understand:

  Some times I get lost deep in thought
  day dreaming about things I have no control over
  for instance:  My future, my life, my path, the world, poverty...                           myself.

  Are there people out there that actually accomplish without fear?
  Or do they simply hide it better then the rest of us?
  Accelerating through the way of life,
  does nothing faulter in them?
  As I seem to only be so close to getting off the gravel road... many times wondering what might faulter next.

  Isn't that how things are suppose to be "in reality?"
  If I realized any thing lately, it is that I never took enough pictures.
  So many memories that I could have relished, but mearly forgotten by my willowing mind.
  Jesus Christ, four years ago really seems like eighty years ago... my head hurts thinking about it.

  I want to keep the friends I've met along the journey
  but many have come and gone
  Moved on long before they gained worth
  I want to say I have friends and wish I'd made an impact some where.

  God, don't I want it all.

  I want the friends I had long ago
  I want the friends I met just a fifteen minutes ago
  Laughing and crying, enjoying the sheer fact that I make them smile.
  Where ever did you all go?

  On a jet plane?

  Insecure is I, unable to attach.  Like any bad velcro.
  Brushing off friends, flakey maybe?
  I met some really cool people last spring but they had other things,
  And now I'm just beginning to render my chances.

  Changes fly around me like knats on a hot summer day.
  And I was never one for restructuring.
  God.  I am so scared.  So scared.
  Couldn't we have discussed this beforehand?  Maybe I could have followed a plan?

  Plans, ahh.

  Yes, a 5000 page detailed plan = direction.
  But then would life really be worth living for
  if we couldn't find our own adventure?
  Would I have met these people or would my free will be so eratic?
  Would I be as scared as I am now...?

   

  Bri

   

  • 11:50 PM
  • 1 view
  • 2 eprops
  • 1 comment