Monday, September 11, 2006

• Five Year's On...

  I was fresh into my first year of college in the middle of Ames, Iowa - nearly twenty five day's out of last being in New York City - and I was stuck in a massive wave of students, corn, and endless amounts of walking.

  The weather was remarkable for the past two week's I was in school... every day was pretty much perfect.  It is scary to think that on a clear day like that day so much evil could come out of it.  If I remember right, it was a Wednesday, and I had just went to breakfast with some of my new friends I had made through various activities.  I really liked those guys.

  I had done my morning routine - took a shower, went and ate breakfast, talked a little with some of the guys straggling out to whatever they had - I was lucky that I didn't have class until 10 but it wouldn't matter any ways.  And then I turned on the "Today" show - I know I know but I thought Katie Courtic and Matt Lauer were so hot together - and watched what I could while deciding what to do with my morning.

  I remember flipping back and forth between NBC and ESPN because I was nervous about the AL East playoff run.  I think the Yankee's were a couple games ahead of the Red Sox's and the Red Sox's were in for a real hard race for the Wild Card spot.

  And I remember Katie and Matt talking about some random topic about flowers and then Katie looked at the Camera and "It appear's a plane has run into one of the towers..."  My mind got so quite, and goose bumps formed on my arms.  The world just stood still.  All of us that were around to comprehend what happened know what happened next - so you don't need me to explain that.

  My Mom lost 5 friends that day.  My neighbor, who live's three houses over, had lost a couple handful of friends/family/acquaintances.  My Uncle was in the American Express building when it happened and we didn't hear from him for two days.

  I almost instinctively called my Mom, "Mom, are you alright?"  "Yes, I can't believe this, are you ok Brian?"  "I don't know.  Can you get a hold of Uncle Chet?"  "No, they are saying the lines are jammed there."  "Ok, every thing is going to be ok."

  So many thoughts were running through my head.  Was the barber I got my hair cut from alright, was the nice lady that talked to me on a subway alright, was any one alright?  What in the fuck had just happened?  This is the United States Of America, shit like this doesn't happen.  Shit like this can't happen.  WTF??!

  What seemed like a near perfect day went down in a blaze of glory real fast.  So many emotions ran through every one and it was just this awful awful feeling.  Ask any New Yorker that was in the city that day how they felt before it all happened and nearly all of them will tell you it was a weird morning.  Just so scary.  Really.

  After five years I'm kind of pissed at certain people.  I'm pissed at Al Queda for changing the world, I'm pissed at President Bush for using 9/11 to fuel his own agenda, and I'm pissed at our government for not making sense of what happened.  On 9/11, I seriously thought World War III was about to begin.  I thought so much would change about the way I live and what I do from here on out.  And in a lot of ways it did, but still many things remain the same.

  And I think just as much as we would like to say that we will never forget - I think a lot of people would rather forget.  I understand awful things happening, and I understand that great tradegies make us uncomfortable... and God forbid they ever happen again, but things like 9/11 are so easy to put aside and say that we will never forget but in fact we've rid it of our mind.

  I remember it because the world can change in a matter of minutes.  Literally.  And I became a smarter American after that - more aware of what was going on in the world and more in tune with what I need to do to help this world become a better place.  I promised myself - after a few days of thought that I would make sure every generation would know from here on out what happened on that day... so that we never do forget.

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