Subject: Leave It To A Woman (This is kinda gross, but funny!)A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. Shegesturesalluringly to the bartenderwho comes over immediately.When he arrives, she seductivel…
Subject: FW: TGIF
A business man got on an elevator in a tall building. When he entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying,"T-G-I-F"
He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T."…
The StatueTwo priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step in the showers before they realise there is no soap.
Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not…
THE CLIFF CLAVEN THEORY
I have not seen anyone explain this as well as Cliff Clavin, on Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the BuffaloTheory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went: "Well ya see…
See my new banner, Sada helped me, and I want to thank her... Isn't she wonderfull!! Love you (((Sada)))
The Hormone HostageThe Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the monthwhen all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his lifein his own hands!This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver'sli…
OUCH
GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
Between 18 and 20 a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.Between 21 and 30 a woman is like America, well developed and open to trade especially …
The FarmerA farmer was sitting at the table while his wife was preparing dinner. Hiswife dropped a spoon and bent over to pick it up. As she bent over the farmer said, "Honey, your butt is as big as a combine."The wife p…
Well... Since I'm always bashing the guys, heres something for them... Ya WHATEVER Eh Ladies!!
THE RULES ACCORDING TO MEN
We always hear "the rules" from the feminine side. OK - we now hear the guys' side.
These a…
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female......Any part under a car’s hood. Male........The strap fastener on a woman’s bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female......Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another. Male.…
Mean Moms (We Thank You)
All moms are mean for a reason. As we grow into adults we know why our moms were mean.
Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them…
Subject: Blonde joke
A blind man enters a Lesbian Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool, and orders a drink. After a while he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar goes quie…
Marital Advice HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. Alan,…
This is the book I'm REALLY reading lol. Its very good for us "Gardening Dummies" Its soo good, that I don't get it, b/c everything is in black and white, and plain ole writing. I WANT pictures…
A FAIRY TALE FOR THE ASSERTIVE WOMAN OF THE 21st CENTURY
Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issues on the…
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!!This is for all you Mothers out there!!! MOM TAUGHT ME TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside, I just finished cleaning!"
MOM TAUGHT ME RELIGION "You better…
Ya... No joking today Heheh, I have to get out there, and continue while its not raining. I got to say though, its looking really good, and I'll try to get some pics up as soon as I can.I wish it …
Worth Reading!!! Hee,Heee
A lady walks into a Jaguar dealership. She browses around, then spots the perfect car and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the fine leather upholstery, she farts loudly. Very e…
DJGarrett Subject: How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2) Page yourself over the intercom…
A man asked his wife on the eve of her birthday, "If you could have anything in the world for one day, what would you want?"
Immediately she replied, "I'd love to be six again."
The next morning, her husband got up bri…
GO LEAFS GO I think the warm temps are here to stay, I can't wait to get started on my planters and to finish up some gardening I started over the weekend, LOL ,its dry and warm out there now, perfect gardening weath…
A husband is advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself.
"You don't have to let your wife henpeck you. Go home and show her you're the boss." The husband takes the doctor's advice.
He rushes home, slams the door, sha…
Subject: The Senility PrayerGod grant me the senility to forget the people I never likedanyway,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.Now that I'm 'older' (but refuse to gro…
Marriage... a Man’s Perspective
I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was... Always.
I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don’t like to interrupt.
Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engageme…
Subject: FW: First Date
This was on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno on September 7,1999.Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first da…
Jack was going to be married to Jill, so his father sat him down for a little fireside chat. He says "Jack, let me tell you something. On our wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants and handed them …
