Saturday, May 10, 2008

• A tour of Benjimon's Hello Kitty bathroom (part 1)

  I woke up today and had to go to the bathroom.  That usually happens every day.
  
  As I walk into the bathroom the first thing to greet me is Hello Kitty. I see her every morning when I wake up and go to the bathroom. She has flowers and is really cute.
  
  

  
  
  While I am sitting down I look at Hello Kitty as well. She is a mod shopper on my shower curtain. She looks so happy skipping along with shoes and nail polish orbiting her.
  
  
  
  While I am sitting I always have a cigarette. I don't usually smoke the whole thing, I just clip it when I am done.
  
  
  
  Also by the cigarettes is whichever book I am pretending to read. Right now it is Dale Carnegie's "How to win friends and influence people." I think this book will be useful because I want a promotion to another work location if I don't quit and I want to learn to get what I want while getting other people what they want so we all win.
  
  The funny thing is, I don't actually read it because I am always smoking. If I have to pee but I want to smoke? I pee sitting down. Sometimes I go and sit down and just smoke without going to the bathroom because I don't want the house to stink.
  
  
  
  After I finish and I need to wipe? I pull my toilet paper from my Hello Kitty toilet paper dispenser.
  

  
  

  
  
  That is the window over my toilet. Sometimes I wake up really really horny and can't go back to sleep. When that happens I masturbate into the toilet while thinking about xangans I want to have sex with like Squeakysoul, ViciousStreak143, OstentatiousEloquence and ms_skeptic. This is funny because I look out the window while I masturbate. I don't think cars passing by with people looking at the houses know I am masturbating while they drive by.
  
  
  
  Above the toilet is a stereo where I only play things like happy hardcore, tech house and hard bounce. I always play this while I take a shower, and I dance. I have to keep the shower curtain closed or water and suds get everywhere.
  
  
  
  In the shower is another window, but I can't see through it. Right now I wash my body with refreshing ginsing Lever bar soap. Contrary to what the packaging led me to believe, I did not tingle. I still use it because the thought of getting clean in the morning with refreshing ginsing makes me happy. I wash my face with lavender scented ivory. On days I shave I use invigorating apricot facial scrub by St. Ives. The hair product I currently use is D Fi heavy wax which is a firm hold hair wax that touts ultimate control, low shine and endless possibilities. I have found that if you don't wash it out with shampoo, you get dark spots on your pillow case that do not wash out in one wash.
  
  I use the remote to turn the music up. I scrub the sink with the scrubber.
  
  
      
  On the other side of the shower is my shower caddy, which is covered by my terrycloth back scrubber, which is my new favorite, most effective back scrubbing device to date. You can get them for three dollars. Sometimes I take it with me on trips, otherwise I stop at a drug store and try to buy another one. That can really be a pain in the ass when you can't find one, especially in other countries.
  
  
  
  Behind the back scrubber is shampoo and conditioner. I like Sauve shampoo. It is cheap and is kinda like dish soap, but I like the smells it comes in. There is also a bottle of Neutrogena shampoo, which is like paint thinner so I use it once every other week or so. I also have Tigi bed head conditioner, which I used to use when I had long hair. It was very effective at making your hair lie down. I think the scent is a little too fruity even though I like apple, coconut and strawberry shampoo. I liked the strong mascculine scent of American Crew, but it made my hair mad poofy so I threw it away. It also made my scalp tingle. I tasted it once. It was not minty. I got the Pantene Pro-V 2in1 Smoth and Sleek shampoo and conditioner in the uk, but I don't use it much. It smells like a girl I liked in 8th grade. I guess she used Pantene. I wonder what it tastes like?
  
  
  
  After I shower the last thing I do is blow dry my butt and crotch. I put my my leg up on the toilet to get better access. You really need to blow dry your butt and crotch because moist areas that don't get good ventilation tend to develop odors over the course of the day and no one deserves that.
  
  

  
  
  
  That is my bathroom sink. Note the combination skin moisturizer by Neutrogena. I take it with me on trips too. The hand soap is honey scented soap. It kind of looks like honey too. I have not tasted it and I do not take it on trips. I also use vanilla mint listerine to mouthwash, but I also like citrus. I had some vanilla toothpaste but the back opened and it would dribble out onto the sink, so I use this toothpaste I got in the uk. Even though I got it in the uk? It tastes like Colgate toothpaste.
  
   
  
  I also have a Pucca rug, but it is puffy and it moves around when you walk on it, so I keep it in the closet. I like Pucca, she is always happy. I am more like Garu.
  
  

   
  
  That is a little of my bathroom. Someday we can go into the medicine chests and I also want to tell you about my coffee table, but only after the International Male catalog arrives.     

  • 10:42 AM
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