Losing My Religion

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Wednesday, October 08, 2008

  • Is This How My Son Really Sees Me?

       Two Sundays ago, Michael brought me his artwork from Sunday School.  I was shocked to see what he had done.  Everyone else laughed at it...but it made me start to wonder- is this really how my son sees me?

    First, a full shot of the drawing.  He didn't make the frowney and smiley faces- he merely colored them and then wrote underneath them.



    Look closely.  Do you see it?  Here, let me show you a close up of me.




    Let's look at Daddy, shall we?



    Yeah- that's what I thought.  I look angry and yelling with veins popping out of my face.  At least he gave me red hair!  Greg looks like the best Dad in the world.

    Sigh...

    Yeah, I'm laughing now, and we are keeping this one for all eternity. 

Monday, October 06, 2008

  • Painful Challenges

    I went away this past weekend to try to get rid of some inner demons.  At first, I didn't really want to go, but I felt compelled to by others.  And then I felt like I was helping other women as they broke down their walls and were able to give things to God.  Then I was able to pinpoint some things of my own and I felt like I was getting free from everything.  I felt healed in many ways.

    Then...in the wee smas of Sunday morning, I woke up with the worst heartburn I'd ever had in my life.  My throat felt like I had just vomited and had that horrible burning sensation.  I had a tremendous pain in my chest and I couldn't breathe.  I quietly snuck into the bathroom so I wouldn't wake up the other ladies I was bunking with.  I didn't have any peppermint, so I just tried to drink cold water in an effort to relieve the pain.

    After a while, I felt a little better and decided to go back to bed.  I propped my pillows up so I'd be sleeping at a 90° angle.  At least then I could try to keep those acids from coming up anymore...but I risked a major neck pain.  I eventually fell asleep, and woke up to the same awful heartburn.

    I still had it more than 12 hours later...and 18 hours later...and finally, it was gone this morning when I woke up.  I still have a bitter taste in my mouth.  I have no idea where it came from, or why I had it, but it scared me to death.  Nothing I took would get rid of it.

    Today I am feeling better, but still reluctant to eat or drink much.  Michael has been a real challenge today, and asking to go to school and to go outside and to do this and do that...and I just feel...yuck.

    I also have a challenge I need to meet...and I am still feeling like I can't meet it.  I got several e-mails today from some friends who had met their part of the challenge.  We'll see if I can do it....

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

  • On Deadline...

    so I won't be around for the next day or so. 

    I am happy that our social life is picking up, but it's wreaking havoc on me.  Those of you who know me know how hard it is for me to trust strangers.  The next few months will be interesting, to say the least.

    Still no fridge, but we have one picked out and will be calling the home warranty people to see if they can get it for us.  We have the mini-fridge from Carrie and it provides us with some space for the things we need to keep cold.  Thanks again, Carrie!

    I need to go since the bus will be here in about 20 minutes and I have a filthy child to clean up & dress and he needs to go potty!  Then off to an interview for an article and then back home to bake muffins for tonight's small group- since we have $20 until Friday and that's earmarked for gas, I am finding things in the pantry to make for snack to share.  (Go back up to that second sentence again...and see why it makes me anxious!)  I also always have ingredients on hand for sugar cookies...but they are probably my least favorite cookie to eat.  (That means more for everyone else!)



Saturday, September 27, 2008

  • The State of the Economy: Wise Words from Dr. Paul

    [Received in my e-mail this past Thursday...]

    Dear Friends:

    The financial meltdown the economists of the Austrian School predicted has arrived.

    We are in this crisis because of an excess of artificially created credit at the hands of the Federal Reserve System. The solution being proposed? More artificial credit by the Federal Reserve. No liquidation of bad debt and malinvestment is to be allowed. By doing more of the same, we will only continue and intensify the distortions in our economy - all the capital misallocation, all the malinvestment - and prevent the market's attempt to re-establish rational pricing of houses and other assets.

    Last night the president addressed the nation about the financial crisis. There is no point in going through his remarks line by line, since I'd only be repeating what I've been saying over and over - not just for the past several days, but for years and even decades.

    Still, at least a few observations are necessary.

    The president assures us that his administration "is working with Congress to address the root cause behind much of the instability in our markets." Care to take a guess at whether the Federal Reserve and its money creation spree were even mentioned?

    We are told that "low interest rates" led to excessive borrowing, but we are not told how these low interest rates came about. They were a deliberate policy of the Federal Reserve. As always, artificially low interest rates distort the market. Entrepreneurs engage in malinvestments - investments that do not make sense in light of current resource availability, that occur in more temporally remote stages of the capital structure than the pattern of consumer demand can support, and that would not have been made at all if the interest rate had been permitted to tell the truth instead of being toyed with by the Fed.

    Not a word about any of that, of course, because Americans might then discover how the great wise men in Washington caused this great debacle. Better to keep scapegoating the mortgage industry or "wildcat capitalism" (as if we actually have a pure free market!).

    Speaking about Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, the president said: "Because these companies were chartered by Congress, many believed they were guaranteed by the federal government. This allowed them to borrow enormous sums of money, fuel the market for questionable investments, and put our financial system at risk."

    Doesn't that prove the foolishness of chartering Fannie and Freddie in the first place? Doesn't that suggest that maybe, just maybe, government may have contributed to this mess? And of course, by bailing out Fannie and Freddie, hasn't the federal government shown that the "many" who "believed they were guaranteed by the federal government" were in fact correct?

    Then come the scare tactics. If we don't give dictatorial powers to the Treasury Secretary "the stock market would drop even more, which would reduce the value of your retirement account. The value of your home could plummet." Left unsaid, naturally, is that with the bailout and all the money and credit that must be produced out of thin air to fund it, the value of your retirement account will drop anyway, because the value of the dollar will suffer a precipitous decline. As for home prices, they are obviously much too high, and supply and demand cannot equilibrate if government insists on propping them up.

    It's the same destructive strategy that government tried during the Great Depression: prop up prices at all costs. The Depression went on for over a decade. On the other hand, when liquidation was allowed to occur in the equally devastating downturn of 1921, the economy recovered within less than a year.

    The president also tells us that Senators McCain and Obama will join him at the White House today in order to figure out how to get the bipartisan bailout passed. The two senators would do their country much more good if they stayed on the campaign trail debating who the bigger celebrity is, or whatever it is that occupies their attention these days.

    F.A. Hayek won the Nobel Prize for showing how central banks' manipulation of interest rates creates the boom-bust cycle with which we are sadly familiar. In 1932, in the depths of the Great Depression, he described the foolish policies being pursued in his day - and which are being proposed, just as destructively, in our own:

    Instead of furthering the inevitable liquidation of the maladjustments brought about by the boom during the last three years, all conceivable means have been used to prevent that readjustment from taking place; and one of these means, which has been repeatedly tried though without success, from the earliest to the most recent stages of depression, has been this deliberate policy of credit expansion.

    To combat the depression by a forced credit expansion is to attempt to cure the evil by the very means which brought it about; because we are suffering from a misdirection of production, we want to create further misdirection - a procedure that can only lead to a much more severe crisis as soon as the credit expansion comes to an end... It is probably to this experiment, together with the attempts to prevent liquidation once the crisis had come, that we owe the exceptional severity and duration of the depression.

    The only thing we learn from history, I am afraid, is that we do not learn from history.

    The very people who have spent the past several years assuring us that the economy is fundamentally sound, and who themselves foolishly cheered the extension of all these novel kinds of mortgages, are the ones who now claim to be the experts who will restore prosperity! Just how spectacularly wrong, how utterly without a clue, does someone have to be before his expert status is called into question?

    Oh, and did you notice that the bailout is now being called a "rescue plan"? I guess "bailout" wasn't sitting too well with the American people.

    The very people who with somber faces tell us of their deep concern for the spread of democracy around the world are the ones most insistent on forcing a bill through Congress that the American people overwhelmingly oppose. The very fact that some of you seem to think you're supposed to have a voice in all this actually seems to annoy them.

    I continue to urge you to contact your representatives and give them a piece of your mind. I myself am doing everything I can to promote the correct point of view on the crisis. Be sure also to educate yourselves on these subjects - the Campaign for Liberty blog is an excellent place to start. Read the posts, ask questions in the comment section, and learn.

    H.G. Wells once said that civilization was in a race between education and catastrophe. Let us learn the truth and spread it as far and wide as our circumstances allow. For the truth is the greatest weapon we have.

    In liberty,



    Ron Paul

Monday, September 22, 2008

  • No Fridge...But It's Still OK

    Did I mention that we lost our fridge due to the windstorm?  The constant on/off/on/off during the storm blew our compressor out.  The fridge is 20 years old anyway, so the part will be hard to find, according to the repairman...but since it's covered under the home warranty, if they can't fix it, they will buy us a new one.

    In the meantime, we are eating things that don't have refrigerated ingredients this week.  Pasta...canned chicken...drinking from bottles or cans...at least it's better than Chef Boyardee.  Yech!!  We do plan to have meat sometime this week, but Greg will stop at Kroger's on the way home and pick it up.  Way more expensive to do it this way...but we will do what we need to do.

    My friend Carrie also has offered to let us borrow a mini-fridge...so thanks Carrie!! 

    I have no idea when we will find out about the fridge...but I do know that even if they cut us a check tomorrow, we wouldn't even buy one until this weekend when we would go shopping together.  Those things require the input of both spouses, you know? 

    The other issue is that our garage door is jammed in the up position.  I am annoyed about this more so because I am blaming my husband some...but SHHHH!  Don't tell him!  It will just make him feel bad.    If you have a remote for your garage door, you know that you only push the button ONCE.  Greg has a habit of hitting twice in a row, much like you would double click your mouse on something.  This makes the door go down, then up...or up, then down.  He kept doing it the Saturday before the storm and somehow managed to get the door jammed.  It's jammed so bad that even the emergency release won't work.  I am a little anxous about this because it gives people direct access to my backyard...and my house...but my neighborhood has proven itself to be a safe place.  I'll just keep on praying it remains that way until we get it fixed.  Again...I am trying to forget that he's the one who broke it and just live with it for now.

    These past two weeks have really made me see how blessed we are.  Despite not having power for 4 days, and no refrigerator for over a week, I still have a lovely home that suffered no damage from the storm.  Michael is loving the school bus, and school.  I have the internet back.  I am planting bulbs for next year and cleaning out the remains of the veggie garden.  I am able to finish up my writing projects for the next issue of our mini-magazine at church.  I have good friends I can rely on, and talk to.  I've been enjoying some great books lately.  I'd go on, but you get it..... 

GidgetPeke

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    • Name: Ellen
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About Me

  • This is me. I want to defy the common stereotype. 33 years old & bipolar (diagnosed 01/02). Christian & unlike most of them that you know. I come complete with eye rolling and raised eyebrows. Struggling to be a good wife to Greg (37) and mom to Michael (3). This is my place to be real.

Homeschool Curriculum- Preschool

Lots of praise and encouragement
Lots of library books to read aloud
Classic books chosen from Ambleside Online & Five in a Row lists
Various Pre-K & K workbooks
Various websites for free worksheets
Various crafts/media for arts
Lots of music on CDs
Bible stories
Hooked on Phonics (Level K-1)
Phonics Pathways

Rock 'n Learn DVDs
LeapFrog DVDs

I will use the Well Trained Mind curriculum for my model.

Will purchase for Kdg next year:
Math ~ Math-U-See Primer
Writing/Art ~ Draw Write Now 1-8
Science ~ More Mudpies to Magnets and Everybody Has a Body

Already have but holding off on using:
History ~ Story of the World, Vol. 1 & Activity Book
Language Arts ~ First Language Lessons for the Well-Trained Mind
Foreign Language ~ DK Language Learner Spanish

Books Read in 2008

"What Hollywood Believes", by Ray Comfort
"The Greatest Stories Never Told", by Rick Beyer
"Elephants on Acid, and Other Bizarre Experiments", by Alex Boese
"Tom Cruise: An Unauthorized Biography", by Andrew Morton
"Big Boned", by Meg Cabot
"Rhett Butler's People", by Donald McCaig
"It Had To Be You", by Cecily von Ziegesar
"Losing It", by Valerie Bertinelli
"Fatal Charms", by Dominick Dunne
"The Mansions of Limbo", by Dominick Dunne
"The Greatest Presidential Stories Never Told", by Rick Beyer
"A Full Quiver: Family Planning & The Lordship of Christ", by Rick & Jan Hess
"Remember Me?", by Sophie Kinsella
"Yes, They're All Ours", by Rick Boyer
"Wife in the Fast Lane", by Karen Quinn
"Fall Down Laughing", by David L. Lander
"The Way Home: Beyond Feminism, Back to Reality", by Mary Pride
"All The Way Home", by Mary Pride
"Love in the House", by Chris & Wendy Jeub
"From Here to Reality", by Steven Schindler
"I heart Bloomberg", by Melody Carlson
"Hiding in Hip Hop", by Terrence Dean
"The Accidental Time Machine", by Joe Haldeman
"sTORItelling", by Tori Spelling
"Dawn's Light", by Terri Blackstock
"Table for Eight", by Meagan Francis
"Fast Times at Ridgemont High: A True Story", by Cameron Crowe
"Naked Pictures of Famous People", by Jon Stewart
"Hello, Gorgeous", by MaryJanice Davidson
"Bratfest at Tiffany's", by Lisi Harrison
"The Clique Summer Collection: Massie", by Lisi Harrison
"Demons Are Forever", by Julie Kenner
"The Carlyles", by Cecily von Ziegesar
"Tempted", by Cecily von Ziegesar
"The Clique Summer Collection: Dylan", by Lisi Harrison
"The Clique Summer Collection: Alicia", by Lisi Harrison
"Undead and Unworthy", by MaryJanice Davidson
"Inner Circle", by Kate Brian
"Shattered Dreams", by Irene Spencer
"Chasing Harry Winston", by Lauren Weisberger
"Such a Pretty Fat", by Jen Lancaster
"How Sassy Changed My Life", by Kara Jesella & Marisa Meltzer
"How Dolly Parton Saved My Life", by Charlotte Connors
"Naptime is the New Happy Hour", by Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
"The Girl I Left Behind", by Judith Nies
"When You Are Engulfed in Flames", by David Sedaris
"And Nanny Makes Three", by Jessika Auerbach
"Escape", by Carolyn Jessop
"Stolen Innocence", by Elissa Wall
"Life With My Sister Madonna", by Christopher Ciccone
"The Manny", by Holly Peterson
"Kristen: The Clique Summer Collection", by Lisi Harrison
"Hampton Babylon", by Peter Fearon
"Claire: The Clique Summer Collection", by Lisi Harrison
"Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure" by Larry Smith
"From Here To Maternity", by Sinead Moriarty
"Once Upon a Nervous Breakdown", by Patrick Sanchez
"Don't Hex With Texas", by Shanna Swendson

Currently Reading:
"Model", by Michael Gross
"Time Travel: The Best Time Travel Stories Ever Written", edited by Bill Adler, Jr.
"Everything I Needed to Know About Being a Girl I Learned from Judy Blume", edited by Jennifer O'Connell