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The AA Grapevine

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The Editors

The AA Grapevine magazine

Carrying the AA message in the local group.

   I've had several conversations with my friend in our group about how to keep new comers sober and keep them coming back to meetings. He's described them like waves on a lake. They come and they go, never to be seen again. For every person who stays, a multitude of people attend a few meetings then quit. We are both concerned about the situation, and talk about what we should do to improve our message.

   We are a small group in rural Michigan USA. Attendance at our weekly meeting ranges from ten to fifteen people. It is common to have a newcomer or two in our weekly meeting. I would say we get about four per month.

   Prospects usually come to us in one of two ways. A small number come directly to us; desperation, family and work drive these people to AA. They frequently bring a relative or friend for support. But these are not the majority. Most are referred to us by professionals, such as legal and health professionals. The majority of these have driving violations. Most need transportation to meetings, but drivers typically drop off and pickup, or wait in the car. Judges look favorably on meeting attendance records and I think the license bureau requires proof of attendance for license reinstatement. The attendance records usually request date, time, meeting location, and witness’ signature.

   The prospects are a cross section of our community. All ages, sexes, races, creeds, ethnic, nationality, financial and social backgrounds are represented. Communication is generally not an issue, but occasionally, we get a new comer who speaks only Spanish. We provide these new comers with Spanish literature and LaVina.

   We meet new comers for the first time at our meeting tables. Since we're a small group new faces are easily recognizable. Usually some polite conversation, a cup of coffee, and introductions around, help us to get to know new comers. That is usually when we find out if they have ever been to AA meeting before. Everyone who visits the meeting is invited to put their name and phone number in our journal for contact purposes.

   We meet quite a few people who have never been to AA before. If that is the case, it is customary for our group to have a first step meeting. Group members introduce themselves, tell a little bit of their stories, offer a few tips on how to stay sober, and encourage new comers to return. The new comers are invited to say a few words at the end of the meeting if they feel comfortable doing so. After the meeting we sign attendance sheets for attendance verification when requested and everyone engages in general conversation. This is an excellent opportunity to get to know each other. Usually these conversations include drinking stories and current events in peoples lives.  We hand out local group meeting lists and encourage people to come back.

   I have always felt that our weekly meeting is where the twelfth step is generally practiced in our group. Meetings are where the message is shared. When one alcoholic talks to another, the AA message of hope and help is transmitted. Everyone in the meeting contributes to our twelfth step message. Whether they are new comers or old timers, sober or intoxicated, accomplished speaker or quiet and shy, everything that needs to be said, is said, and every example that needs to be made, is made.

   So the question becomes why don't newcomers get the program and keep coming back? Why hasn't our group grown significantly through the years? Why is it that only a core group of members are able to get sober and keep sober? My answer is this; those who fail to get sober are unable to complete the first step and admit they are powerless over alcohol. If everyone who walked through the door could make the assertion of powerlessness, we couldn't build meeting rooms big enough to accommodate everyone.

   We have good referring agencies with good policies in our area. Many people who work at these agencies have experience with AA, some are AA members themselves. They know AA is dedicated to helping those with drinking problems and we prefer not to wander off into other areas or additions. So in good faith, I expect that they are sending us people who they believe have drinking problems.

   That being the case, when the referrals show up at our meetings you would expect them to be trying to solve their drinking problem. But in the twisted mind of the alcoholic who’s alcoholic compulsion and obsession is controlling their mind and body, they can't typically see the true nature of their situation even after a few problem confrontations with the truth. Over the years I have seen many newcomers come and go. They would much rather admit powerlessness over the fashionable drug of the day than alcohol. They say drugs or some other non-alcohol related problem or situation was the real reason for their referral to AA by cops, courts, employers or family.

   Strange as it seems, many admit to being arrested for first, second or third offence on alcohol related charges. "Yeah, but that was just a coincidence", they say. They were really high on this or that drug; caught in this or that act, and happen to be drinking at the time. They are not really powerless over alcohol they say. They are really powerless over x or y. They say, "I can handle my alcohol."

   This attitude has been especially pronounced in jail and correctional facilities meetings I have attended. Young men, proud, strong, and fearful, would admit crack addition because crack is socially acceptable in their circles, but never admit powerlessness over beer, wine, or liquor. That is just a weakness. On the street, or locked up, you can't admit weakness over something so innocuous as alcohol.

   Then, to compound the problem, in meetings, I hear some well meaning alcoholic or an addict, who is probably in denial of their own alcohol problem; tell the newcomer that alcohol is a drug, and that a drug is a drug is a drug is a drug. There is no difference between alcohol and drugs. They may even tell the new comer that alcohol probably isn't your problem, but what ever your problem is you can find an answer here in AA, by working the twelve steps. They teach them how to continue to deny their alcohol problem, completely ignoring the first step, believing it doesn't matter and won't affect their recovery.

   Well, I don't believe it. Nothing could be further from the truth. Let new comers continue to deny their alcoholism and you are inviting disaster. And that is usually what happens.

   Many think referrals of people to AA who are not ready to stop drinking, harm AA in some way. I disagree. I support the referrals from the professionals. I hope they continue to send them our way, even if they are not ready to sober up. Referrals from professionals help prospects meet AA members and discover we are not a freak show or some circus tent revival society, but normal everyday people. So when they are ready, they'll be more inclined to give AA a real try.

   God willing, if they drink again, they will survive the certain trials and tribulations that they will inevitably face in the future, and return to us sooner than later. In the mean time they are doing us a great service by reminding us how cunning, baffling and powerful alcoholism really is to those are afflicted. I am grateful God has restored me to sanity and helped me to complete that first step. It is definitely the hardest step to complete and frequently requires Devine intervention coupled with the instinct to survive.

   That said, I feel that our group should still continue to clarify and refine our message in an attempt to reach newcomers before they pay to high a price for their alcoholism. The original members of the fellowship found a way to raise the bottom for our benefit and we owe it to those yet to come to continue that life saving effort. And like the tenth and eleventh step, improving our message should continue daily.

   I don't care if AA has two million members, one thousand members, or five hundred million bazillion members. All I care about is that the hand of AA is there to help where there is a desire to stop drinking, whether in the US or some other country. And when the new comers finally wise up, and come to understand the gravity of their situation, powerlessness over alcohol, I hope I'll be there to see it. Very few things in this world give me more joy than witnessing the scales fall from the desperate eyes of a suffering alcoholic.

GlennS, Michigan USA