Thursday, September 09, 2004

• Time to put down Ross! At first glance, he seems like the typical "nice guy" of song and lore who just keeps ending up as the girl's friend instead of as her boyfriend. He has intelligence (college professor), reasonably good looks, and seems like a nice, considerate fellow. What else could a woman want, right? So why don't things ever work out for him?

  I don't know if the series writers meant to do this, but I think they've spelled out in convincing fashion why some nice guys really don't DESERVE more than they have. I'm speaking as somewhat of the classic "nice guy" myself, and I feel free to tell the world the truth about the over-pitied spineless piece of rubber these characters can be :-p So girls, go marry cruel, unfeeling men. SOL I should also state here that I have watched about 10 total episodes of Friends ever; so you can laugh at my ignorance later if you so choose.

   First, the lack of confidence in Ross'ssssssss (how many s'es are enough? ha) life shows up in his relationships to women. He always seems to settle back and let the woman take control after he's made the initial step. This even happens in romantic settings. He's not able to set boundaries or rules of any kind, because he's afraid of choosing the wrong ones. No rules in life because of fear of making/breaking them? Lack of confidence.

  Second, he lacks confidence when dealing with his friends. Ross too often appears achingly vulnerable to manipulation of all kinds. Sometimes I think that if Ross existed in real life, he'd be the type to get sucked into some sort of weird religious cult. His life lacks true meaning and purpose (as do most of the Friends' lives). For some reason this never disturbs people as much as it should. But I digress.

  I get the impression that Ross may not feel guilty over committing murder, as long as no one would judge him about it. But if Ross would forget to, say, let Monica do all the cooking or setting up at a party of Ross's, and Monica confronted him about it, he would immediately over-apologize. Ross just doesn't know what he has responsibility over in life. So when confronted with various types of responsibility, he takes just enough to avoid outright rebuke from others. Not taking proper responsibility? Clear sign of insecurity, which is synonymous (sp?) with a lack of confidence.

  Finally, Ross consistently fails to take leadership of the group of friends, even though he may be the best suited for it. He's probably the smartest in the group. He's the least quirky and immature of the men. He "looks" like a leader, if you will (tall, good stage presence before he opens his mouth). And he may just be the most respected group member, after Rachel. But he constantly fails when placed in positions of leadership and decision-making. Not able to stick to a decision? Classic sign of a lack of confidence.

  So Ross is my new anti-role-model--he has enough "raw material" of human potential, but he never rises to meet a challenge. Great guy, but if you (guy or girl) would ever get close to him, you'd always feel like something was missing. It's not intimacy that Rachel was missing; they certainly had relations (ahem, reason #1 why not to watch more than 10 episodes). It was dependability; one strong wind of trial, and Ross would be gone, out of her life like the straw man of true manhood that he was. That's why I think they never could last as a couple. That and the TV ratings of all the desparate women who needed to know what was going to happen next for years and years!

  • 3:33 PM
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