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| on 2 WEEK NOTICE...yep - in less than 2 weeks i will be unemployed
right now i'm wishing i hadn't spent my time trying to find another job
i've been thinking about leaving my job for so long...
like really really been unhappy with it
because of all the grunt work i end up doing
like moving stuff in storage from past techs who don't know how to throw stuff out
building storage shelves - if i had a say, i'd point to my contract and show how it says i'm a tech!
but i never had a real contract w/ this company - not one that set what my job entails
such a disorganized environment where there's no real policys for anything
no set patterns to follow - just get the job done, keep the customers happy, blah blah blah
and then random calls - when i'm not supposed to even be on the call list
especially when its like 2am and on a monday morning - thats the worst way to start a week
wake up to a ringing phone and hear that its work
before i put in my 2 week notice, i did the cautious thing
sent my resume everywhere, did interviews... basically lived a double life
put enough time in at work, but leave enough time to look for other work
that in itself was a lotta work
and while this was going on, i realized that i hate planning ahead
sure i'll plan ahead if it's for something possibly fun
but i really really hate having things planned out
plannings my worst enemy - having plans keep me from the chaos i love
i miss the uncertainty in my life, it fueled me and made things exciting
it must have started about 3-4 years ago when i left irvine
i lost the knack for spontaneity - i lost my fun carefree attitude
like it sucks living on a budget, but it sucks more that it came at the cost of who i was
at least with nordstroms i had a changing schedule, so things aren't the same everyday
but here in the office world, it's the same thing, like ground hog's day but w/o bill murray
and in the end, i'm my own worst enemy
with a few opportunities open... i coulda had that time to be spontaneous again
i coulda set the starting date later
i coulda held out on signing til the last day the offer letter was good for
but so many people gripe about having a backup plan and what not
that i ended up thinking - and i hate thinking!
cuz when i think-- i start to doubt myself
the conclusion's always the same - gotta work to have the money to play
cept because i work, i end up losing the time to play, so what good is the money?
it's like i'm stuck in a safety zone...
i look at my friends and family - and i don't really see anyone who's really happy
my mom's been trying to get a retirement
my dad just can't stay around the house or he'll go nutty
my brothers don't act like they are happy
its like i don't see smiles - and when i do, it's a forced smile
even my lame jokes seem to have no effect on peoples
but i been re-reading the parts i skimmed over in randy pausch's "last lecture"
and it's given me some incite on my life... and i put it into perspective
i'm not terminally ill... but i'm not doing a lot of things that would make me happy
there's so much out there i could be doing
i think there's a buncha dreams i haven't lived yet
and i don't even know if i'm living any of my dreams right now
sometimes i feel like just throwing away a lot of what i've built up
and just living the dream... whatever it is
things aren't always on the sweet side of the bell curve
and when i feel i need to be on that sweet side...
i don't really get motivated to working for it
it's my brick wall - i don't think i have the desire to do anything anymore
most likely, when i'm done complaining, i'll just go back to being a drone
sucks being the worker bee
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| gamer gear...
those penny arcade guys are hilarious... i'd have never thought to put this on a shirt LoL
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the design says "i'd tap that"
for custom card games, turning a card to the side is called "tapping"
i'm such a nerd for knowing that LoL
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| Comic Con - SDIt's official... I'm going to Comic Con in SD - July 23-27
So if anyone wants to meet up
Driving down on Wed, 23rd
Then driving back up on the 27th
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