I've NEVER posted a survey.... but I'm at a lack of writing material today.  So this should give you a little insight to ME:

(WARNING:  Some R-rated material below!)

Written by Lisa, Anna, Sonja, David, Ryan, Lee, SetupIrrelevant, myjohnson, SecretAgentGirl and Jon!  A few bland questions to the beginning just to get them out of the way before the nitty-gritty.  Here it is to be copy/pasted to your own sites/mass e-mails, where it will spread like wildfire.  LIKE WILDFIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Best Survey Ever™

Part 1: Basic Boring Crap
1. Your name: Joy - my good friends call me Joyful
2. Your age: 24 (though my birthday's in 29 days)
3. What you do to pay the bee-ills: I work for a huge HR company doing computer software testing.  As you can tell, it's not much fun as I'm sitting here filling out this survey!  But it does pay the bee-ills and it's randomly busy.
4. How do you feel about your life on a scale of 1-10, with 1 representing "the world has collectively crapped on my soul" and 10 representing "the world has collectively performed oral sex on me": About a 6??

Part 2: All About You
5. What is your favorite recreational activity? Snowboarding I guess.  If you don't count the R-rated version of recreation 
6. Growing up, did you a)play outside a lot, b)watch a lot of TV, or c)get locked in a dark closet while your parents were having swinger parties?  Both A and B.  Mostly A though b/c my mom forced us outside after school.  But I always had my morning shows to keep me grounded... haha.
7. When was the last time you farted in public and simply walked away so no one would know it was you?  Girls don't fart, silly!  But if they did, I guess it'd be at an airport convenience store.
8. How do you define religion?  What do you believe?  I think it's a set of beliefs and faith that help you to deal with this f'd up world.  I'm a christian and I believe strongly that there is a God who loves me.  I don't pretend to know the answers and I don't pretend to believe everything the Bible says.  I used to be very active in the christian community, but I've slowly slipped away... hurmmm.
9. Have you ever been in a fight?  If so, how'd that work out for ya?  Nothing physical.  My sister was the school bully, so I was protected for most of my early years.  But I'm sure I could hold my own.  I know TaeBo, sucka!
10. What is the lamest thing you've ever said in a job interview? That I really enjoy programming.
11. Rate your dancing skills on a scale of 1-10, with 1 being "Elaine from Seinfeld" 5 being "Fat Joe leaning back" and 10 being "Saturday Night Fever-era John Travolta": 9?  But not in a John Travolta way.  I'd say a 10, but I'm not classically trained in the art really.  I have a true ghetto booty so that makes it a little easier for me to shake my rump.


Part 3: Pop Culture
12. Favorite old-school Nintendo game? Mike Tyson's Punch-Out and Super Mario Bros. I guess.  My brother once bought me a tank game for Christmas, eventhough I didn't like tank games and he loved them.  Go figure.
13. Is "Saved By The Bell" overrated? Nah.  I watched it randomly but was never obsessed over it.  It was decent for it's time I suppose.  The college years ruined it, though.
14. What's the coolest commercial you've ever seen, and do you remember what it was advertising? There was one that cracked me up.  It was where people would get hurt all the time.  One person fell on a table that had hot coffee on it, another was bowling and got hurt somehow.  Anyone know what it was for? I just couldn't stop laughing over people getting so badly hurt..... good stuff!  I think it only aired a few times.
15. Are mullets still funny? They're hilarious if a person seriously has one and thinks it's actually cool.  My dad's wife has a mullet and I once mistakenly cracked a mullet joke in front of her and she laughed.  I don't think she knows that she has one!!!
16. Who is your favorite Beatle?  (Ringo doesn't count): I've always liked Paul McCartney b/c he just seems so into his stuff.  Plus his Wings material is good.  Though I really do wish that Ringo counted... he's so funny.
17. Which celebrity's coffee would you most like to piss in while they're not looking?  It'd probably be hard to piss into coffee, considering that doing a piss-test into an empty cup is challenging enough for me.  But if I could do it with ease, it'd probably be Renee Zelweger.  I don't know why, I just don't like her.  And she could probably use the protein right now anyway... ha.
18. What do you hate most about reality tv, and why do you still watch it?  The thing I hate most is that lots of the people on the shows try to come across as victims.  They signed up for that shit!  "Why does everyone think I'm a bitch??"  B/C you are you whiny ho!  I only watch MTV's Real World b/c I've been following it from the beginning... the original reality tv show.  I enjoy yelling at the characters as a way to vent at stupid people in this world.
19. Do cell phones really need to be able to take pictures and function as videocameras?  Nope.  Though I'm sure if I had a phone that could take low-quality pictures, I'd probably change my answer to yes shortly just b/c I'm a sucker for falling into that stuff.
20. Did you fall under the spell of either: a)New Kids on the Block, b)Vanilla Ice, c)N-Sync, d)Backstreet Boys, e)Britney Spears, f)98 Degrees?  If so, what do you have to say for yourself?  Yes ::hanging head::  A and B.  I liked C,E and F but I was too old for that stuff really to fall under a spell.  I was a NKOTB fan big time and I had all of the buttons and cards, I was in love!  As for Vanilla Ice, I remember doing a sing/dance routine with my sister in our bathroom.  What were we thinking??

Part 4: Sex and Stuff
21. Name the 3 most important differences between men and women (besides the physical ones):  1) Men don't let issues plague them forever, even after they're "resolved."  2) Women are definitely more physically insecure.  3)  Men don't let those little hairs on the bathroom floor gross them out.
22. If you could choose one fellow Xangan to help you live out your craziest sexual fantasies, who would it be and what would you be doing? (If you got this by email and don't know what xanga is, shame on you):  I don't know any Xangans that well, other than my best friend, who's off limits.  But, if I did, she'd be a sexy spanish girl who's "experienced" with the ladies.  I wanna be tought 
23. Do you masturbate?  If not, why are you lying?  No.  You might all kill me for this answer... but I honestly don't have to anymore.  Ahhh, sookie sookie now!
24. Have you ever asked someone you're just starting to date, "Do you like to cuddle?"  If so, why?  No.  It'd be obvious if they didn't like to cuddle... but I think deep down inside, everyone needs to be cuddled.
25. If there was an STD named after you, what would the symptoms be?  Be specific.:  I'm just not creative enough for this one.
26. What are the coolest and worst things about porn?  I've honestly never watched a porn.  I guess the coolest would be watching lesbians (wait, does that make me a lesbian?) and hearing them enjoy it... I'm all into my auditory sense.  The worst would be seeing sweaty men's balls... yuck.
27. What if you had to pay a tax to the government to have sex (hey, it may happen), even if it was with your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife?  How much would you be willing to pay, keeping in mind you would have to pay that fee each and every time you have sex?  I'd be "willing" to pay anything.  But if it were for every time, I'd go with, oh, $1??

Part 5: Decision Time
28. Would you rather have two left feet (literally), or see yourself as David Hasselhoff whenever you look in the mirror?  Keep in mind that only you would see yourself as David Hasselhoff, and only while looking in a mirror.: I guess 2 left feet.  If I looked like David Hasselhoff in the mirror, it'd be hard to seriously put on makeup without cracking myself up.  I'll just have to stop wearing open-toed shoes.
29. Would you rather win a cruise or a lifetime supply of toilet paper? Cruise.  You can get creative if you're left without t.p.  A cruise would be nice.
30. If you had the choice, how would you want to die?  I've always imagined this.  Something fast... I'd prefer execution.  Weird, huh?  But when they put you to sleep and put drugs into ya, you couldn't ask for a better way I guess.
31. If money were not an option, would you a)build a huge, elaborate playground in your backyard, b)build your own recreational facility with everything from a basketball court to an ice rink, or c)blow it all on Mt. Dew and Doritos?  B all the way.  I'd love to work out and do sports for free and whenever I want.
32. Would you rather be a midget flying a kite or a baton twirler? Baton twirler.
33. Would you rather watch President Bush speak or gouge your eyes out?  Watch Bush speak just to amuse myself.  But if it were a loooong speech, I'd have to gouge my eyes out.
34. What historical figure would you most like to see oppose your best friend in a fight to the death?  Who would win and why?  It's tough b/c I don't have one BEST friend.  But I'll choose Dev since he's on Xanga.  I might choose Napolean b/c then Dev would actually have a height advantage for once.    You know I love ya, Dev!  It'd be interesting to see them fight but I'm not sure Dev is evil enough to kill someone.  So Napolean might just win that one.... sorry!

Part 6: Randomness
35. Why is figure skating so damn cool?  B/C it's so elegant and tough at the same time.  You have to be strong and fragile at the same time.
36. a)What is the most obscure celebrity/sports name you can recall off the top of your head?  Soleil Moon Frye a.k.a. Punky Brewster
     b)Use that name entirely out of context as a verb in a sentence about what you did today:  I soleil moon fryed my bagel this morning.  (surprising that it worked so well)
      c)If that took you more than 5 seconds, describe the punishment you will administer yourself for the sake of maintaining positive karma:  I didn't do much today so it was easy.
37. What's the most completely irrational time that you've cried?  If your answer is "that's never happened", stop lying and answer the question:  I never irrationally cry!  Haha, that's funny.  I remember one time when I was walking through central park with a group of people.  We rested at some random little league game for a bit and I wanted to cry when I was watching all those cute little boys out there having fun.  I barely kept from crying so the others wouldn't know that I was nutso!
38. How much time, in total, do you estimate that you've wasted out of your life filling out surveys on the internet?  I think this is only my second ever... so I'd say about 2 hours?
39. How much time do you think you've spent reading them?  About 3 hours I suppose.  And I'm too lazy to read my own when I'm done with it so typos and incomplete sentences won't be fixed in this edition!

Someone just busted ass in the next cubicle aisle.