I'm finally going to give one of my coworkers a nickname. She is now dubbed "Mimi". As in: "me, me".
To give some background on her, she's the one I've posted about in the past who does her son's homework when he's falling behind. She also makes his coffee in the morning and brings it to him. She bitches and complains about his laziness, but she does nothing about it. He was borderline failing a class in his senior year of high school that would've prevented him from graduating, but she stepped in and was in constant contact with his teacher. He ended up passing with a C. So her and her husband bought him a BRAND NEW CAR. Even after he threw an impromptu party in their yard with alcohol (and they're all like 17?) and has girls sleeping over randomly. She bitches about all of this stuff daily.
And normally I wouldn't dole out advice on kids, but since she bitches, I give her my 2 cents. And it's not pretty. I basically tell her that she needs to grow some balls and ground him. Or maybe, um, NOT buy him a brand new car??? Especially when he has a decent Saturn to drive around already!!! Or shut off his phone's text messaging function when he abuses the allocated amount and runs up the bill??? (oh but that would be meeaaaan)
Anyway, I've always gotten the feeling that there's just something about her that I can't pinpoint. I can't help but get this feeling that she doesn't like me. I've attributed it to my harsh advice and strong personality. Hey, I can't help being me so if you don't like it, tough. But on a normal, everyday basis she's very pleasant to be around.
Which I've discovered is just FAKE. Because behind the smiles and kindness, lurks an evil bitch.
Yes, I've said it. She's a bitch. A whiny, insecure, childish bitch.
Yesterday, I was giving another coworker some guidance on the new procedures and systems. I do this freely whenever I see someone struggling because my manager specifically told me in my review (a week ago) that I'm a great asset to the team and she appreciates how quicky I've picked up the new system and loves that I help others. I also voiced my concern with my manager that I'm worried that I might come across as "arrogant" and she said that she doesn't think that at all and thinks everyone appreciates me. So earlier this week, she chose ME to be an internal forum moderator for anyone who had questions/problems that needed guidance.
So I explained a procedure to this other coworker and she thanked me so much for helping her to understand. So she turned to Mimi and was like, now that Joy explained it I feel a lot better. Then she proceeded to bring up another issue and I was explaining it when suddenly Mimi steps in. She said something like, "no, that's now how it's done... it's done by, blah blah blah." So I said, "actually... blah blah blah".
And here's the best part....
Mimi threw up her hands and said "oh that's right, you know everything, whatever" with a bitchy-ass face and spun around and got back to work on her computer.
You should have seen my face. No one else in the office heard her comment, so I had to muster up all of the professionalism within my body to prevent me from NOT slapping that bitch. I'm pretty sure my face was red and I was shaking a little.
So I turned around and put my iPod on and rocked out to a little bit of "Sunday Morning" by K-OS.
Fast forward about an hour. I hear the faint sound of someone talking and I look over and Mimi's calling my name. She starts laughing and saying I'm pulling an "Alan" because he wears headphones to block people out (genius!). Then she explains that she's going to the salon on her lunch break to get her toes done for her vacation. All with a huge-ass fake smile. Don't even get me started on how she goes out for a 2 hour lunch once a month to get her gel nails done (added to the fact that she consistently rolls into work an hour late everyday).
She's off today and is on vacation all next week. I didn't do my usual "have a great vacation!" when I left at the end of yesterday. And that's because I'm NOT fake, thankyouverymuch.
She better not be thinking that her fake-niceness is an apology. Oh hell no. She's on my shit list. My very short shit list.
...............
And I'm taking the high road. I'm chalking it all up to jealously and insecurity. She's been with the company for 7 years and I know more than her. I'm younger (and prettier, heh) and more educated. I'm also not computer iliterate!
I took a sneak peak at her work queue yesterday just to see how she's doing (I NEVER check up on people). It turns how she has no clue because her queue is a total wreck!! She has things sitting in a status where she needs to get back to the client and change the status ASAP, yet they're sitting there with no action. I seriously don't think that she's slacking off; I think it's due to her not letting me help her understand things. And not asking for help.
She's her own worst enemy. Whatever. A lost cause is more like it.
I think the last time someone pulled that passive-aggressive nonsense on me was way back in high school.
"oh that's right, you know everything, whatever"
And YOU know everything, Mimi???? | 
