| | My Other, Nerdier Secret Is Out (Or, Why Jon Bergdoll is a Sonofabitch)
After reading this, feel free to mock me, or just never talk to me again. It's the nerd's life, though at RHIT, everyone's a little nerdy. I just happened to have supressed most of mine.
First thing's first: if you haven't read the post before this about my former life as a Dungeons and Dragons player, do so--and be sure to read the comments, namely the one from DullJokerman, aka Jon Bergdoll.
Done? Good. Because if he hadn't forced my hand, I would have never admitted to this.
Bare with me readers, as I take you into a frightening realm, more frightening than Dungeons & Dragons. From the time I was about four years old, until I discovered the joy of boobies (15, maybe?), I was obsessed with Star Trek. I know, I know: it's shameful. When I say obsessed, I mean obsessed.
It started off healthily enough. My dad and I would watch Star Trek: The Next Generation every Friday night, because, hell, I even if I weren't five years old, I wouldn't have had a social life. Then, around age 6, I'd have my mom tape the 11pm episode that was on Fox59 every night, so that I could wake up early and watch it before I went to school.
By age 8, I had seen every episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation at least thrice. It was around that time that my beloved TNG came to an end, and was replaced with Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (they actually coincided for a season and had a crossover in the episode...oh God, I'm doing it again).
By age 10, I was reading Star Trek themed novels--stories that were too shitty to actually make into episodes, but were good enough to be printed. I read at least fifty of these from this time until I was thirteen.
My parents also bought me books like "The Star Trek Encyclopedia," which was a veritable tome of Star Trek knowledge; it was about two inches thick, with every piece of information from every episode up to the point of its publications--I later bought two updated versions as the Star Trek Continuum continued on, leaving my older editions useless. I more or less memorized the encyclopediae, and to could tell you anything you needed to know about Lt. Commander Data's positronic brain, or William Shatner's hairpiece. I also read stuff like "The Science of Star Trek: How Warp Drive Works" or "The Metaphysics of Star Trek."
God, I want to kick my own ass. No wonder everyone else did.
Around age thirteen, I met two friends: Tom Brooks, and Ben Fitzwater. Ben would later move to New Albany, IN, and Tom..well...Tom kinda went crazy. But, when the three of us were together, we were the cream of the crop of nerdity.
Ben and I were avid players of Star Trek: The Collectable Card Game. Yeah, go read that sentence again. I played that CCG like it was my job (for those of you not in the know, a CCG is like Magic: The Gathering, where you buy packs of cards, and use the sum of your cards to make a deck of cards, and then battle other people's decks. Yeah, I know. You can steal my lunch money later.). To this day, I have a legal box full of ST:CCG cards in my closet at home; the problem with that is, because of some renovations in the gameplay, the edition of my cards are worthless--I can't even sell them! I think I'll ask my mom to throw them out.
Tom and I, however, just nerded it up in general. In 8th grade gym class, there's a two-week unit where the school paid for you to go bowling every day. Tom and I being the big geeks that we were, and in the same gym class, decided to buy Star Trek Halloween costumes, and wear them to the bowling alley. I'm amazed we didn't get our asses kicked. Tom was kind of a big kid, and as I mentioned earlier, batshit crazy, so there's the possibility that no one would pick a fight with him because they knew he'd just rip their throat out and bathe in their blood, but that still leaves wimpy me to pick on. How did I not get my ass kicked? If I saw a kid like that now, and I were in his grade, I'd kick his ass...well, maybe just mock him. I'm a lover, not a fighter.
Finally, at age fifteen, I got my first girlfriend. She was kind of controlling, and basically made me drop all that nerdy stuff for the most part. I hated it then, but man, she was good for me. If it weren't for her, I'd be responding to the "Lonely DM looking for a few good players" posters on campus at the beginning of the year. God, most of you don't even know what a DM is, do you? Ask me later.
Sadly, to this day, I can tell you just about anything about Star Trek. Don't make me do it. Please?
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| | Posted 7/14/2006 10:23 AM - 15 views - 10 comments
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