wow 449 days

jeesh

k new xanga

most people know it

this one is so old

but w/e

life is okay

missing the guy I love

LALALALALALA

I LOVE MY LIFE

I LOVE MY BF

I LOVE THE HOT WEATHER

I LOVE MY SUNGLASSES

I AM SUPER HAPPY AND LOVEIE  =]

just updating in here once and awhile saying what I can't say on my xanga

lets see I miss him, it's weird. I didn't think it was honestly going to end up this way. I thought he actually loved me but everything was all a lie, it sucks. I cry every single day because of him. It makes me sick that I just can't be with him, and I am this depressed over him.

I will probaly update more often just like this entry, I need a place to vent.

**RE DID MY SONGS**

This goes out to someone that was...
Once the most important person in my life.
I didn't realize it at the time.
I can't forgive myself for the way I treated you, so...
I don't really expect u to either.
It's just...
I don't even know.
Just listen.

You're the one that I want.
The one that I need.
The one that I got to have...
Just to succeed.
When I first saw you,
I knew it was real.
I'm sorry about the pain I made you feel.
That wasn't me.
Let me show you the way.
I look for the sun but it's raining today.
I remember when I first looked into your eyes...
It was like I was there heaven in the sky.
I wore a disguise cause I didn't wanna get hurt.
But I didn't know I made everything worse.
You told me we were crazy in love.
But you didn't care when push came to shove.
If you loved me as much as you said you did...
Than you wouldn't have hurt me like I ain't ****.
Now you push me away like you never even knew me.
I love you with my heart really and truly.
I guess you forgot all the times that we shared.
When I would run my fingers through your hair.
Late nights just holdin you in my arms.
I don't know how I could do you so wrong.
I really wanna show you.
I really need hold you.
I really want to know you...
Like no one else can know you.
Your number 1.
Always in my heart.
And now I can't believe that our love is torn apart.

I need you and...
I miss you and...
I want you and...
I love you cause...
I wanna to hold you.
I wanna kiss you.
You are my everything...
And I really miss you.
I need you and...
I miss you and...
I need you and...
I miss you and...
I want you and...
I love you cause...
I wanna to hold you.
I wanna kiss you.
You are my everything...
And I really miss you.

I relized why he will NEVER want me
I relized that he is fucking gourgeous and I am ugly as shit

I NEED FUCKING PLASTIC SURGERY