Monday, April 07, 2008
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Transforming violence in our lives
I received the following devotion last week and thought it was interesting. I think sometimes we become so locked into Western religious and social thought, which tends toward "either or" and "right wrong" that we miss some of the deep treasures of Eastern thought.
In the devotional below, Ms. Brown reflects upon the very small things in our lives that contribute to a "continuum of violence." She makes the statement that by acknowledging and transforming these small acts of violence, she improves both her life and those whom she touches.
So here' my question to start this week: How do the small acts of violence in our lives affect us and others around us in the long run?
On the Journey Towards Living Nonviolently
written by SUSAN M. S. BROWN- from HenriNouwen.org ReflectionsWhen I sprained my ankle last year, the doctors' advice on gauging how quickly I could return to normal activities was "Let the pain be your guide." Well, thanks be to God, I was never in such pain that I couldn't walk (with an Aircast), drive, and concentrate on my work. Still, I was, for much longer than I'd expected, far from engaging normally in normal activities. I learned that pain isn't just the intense end of the spectrum. In fact, I had discomfort, and that is part of the pain continuum too. It had significance, and it had an impact on my life.
My conception of violence is similar. It's easy for me to define violence in the big way, at the intense end of the spectrum: fortunately distant from my direct experience and almost too frightening to contemplate. But as the Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh and many others have pointed out, violence is also present in small acts: tugging too hard on a sticky door, muttering an expletive in an instant of frustration, being in such a rush that I cut off or discourage someone who wants a bit of my undivided attention.
It's sobering to acknowledge how many moments of my day are, albeit mildly, part of the violence continuum. But only by recognizing my violence can I hope to transform it, for my own good and the good of all those whose lives I-knowingly or unknowingly-touch.
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Comments (7)
You know, Buddhism really has a lot of good rules to live by. I'm a pretty violent person, apparently !'ll have to tone it down a bit and channel my inner-monk (not Monk).
Oh, I forgot to answer the question. I think, in the long run, the small acts of violence build up a negative intensity that could possibly explode in volcano fashion. It doesn't necessarily mean we'll physically hurt someone, but we may snap and really hurt someone's feelings.
Yea I guess that's one of the hardest things about being "Christ-like" .... the point is to get rid of all those bad little habits that we have. Basically impossible to combat them and prevent new ones from forming by ourselves, but worth a try with God at our side.
I don't see tugging too hard on a door as violent, nor do I see impatience as 'violent'. In my mind that's going a wee bit off the deep end. Then again, I don't have the buddhist/hindi/eastern mindset either.
I do see the need to pause, take a deep breath and 'reboot' .How do the small acts of violence in our lives affect us and others around us in the long run?
Hmm. I think it makes us more apt to commit larger ones, or explain away the little ones. Who calls wrong what we've labeled as "okay" for years? It desensitizes us. Admittedly, for example sometimes I see the tendency to hack and slash in video games come out as my thinking "In thought this is funny, but if it REALLY happened it would be atrocious!"
As for others, it can grind on their nerves. When my friends add a bit more than they needed to and don't even attempt to correct for it like it's wrong, it drives down my opinion of them, or makes me think there's a deeper issue which needs resolved. Even in "fake arguing" as a joke, if it's not made clear it was a joke at the end you leave the other person with the idea that maybe you actually were mad at them... it makes it harder to trust you.
I think the "tugging on the door" is a good point. There are times when I simply misjudge the amount of force required. Like if I try once and it's not budging very well I might overcompensate; however, there are times when I've found myself flinging the door open or closed unconsciously much like I have done when upset. I'm not much of a "door flinger" (I usually just leave them all open, lol), but I always know when I've overdone it on purpose. The difference is that if I overcompensate I say, "Whoops" and laugh it off. If I'm not upset, I just storm out of the room and/or leave in a bad temper.
If you don't stop the little stuff early, it snowballs fast. Leaving the room in a huff usually leads to a bad encounter later. It all builds as soon "everything in your day went wrong" even though all that happened was you stubbed your toe and you couldn't get the pickle jar open on the first try.
It allows little things to distract us from God's glory and blessings.
God bless,
~Scott
Wow! I gotta do some serious catchup with you, cause I'm seeing some very interesting posts and subjects as I scroll down.
It's funny that you tapped into this, because I'm tapping into on a whole different level, and the tapping is such that I think this will be a book.
How do the small acts of violence in our lives affect us and others around us in the long run?
I think she summed it up in the devotional really well.
"Let the pain be your guide."
I think this answer was the key, because ultimately, we end up hurting ourselves as a result. This is really all I can say on the matter without writing my book for you here in your comments.
This post comes at a really interesting time. My daughter had as her school assignment write a speech entitled "If I had a wish ..." and her wish was to end all violence.
The keys points of her speech were (i) violence is not just about action but it stems from man's violent thoughts; (ii) violence is not just about murderers and rapist but the simple thoughts of "revenge" and getting even with people who had hurt us and how if one looses control, these small acts of violence could turn into mega violent acts. And (iii) how people have used tools that were created to help us for selfish reasons in violent ways and gave the case study of Alfred Nobel's invention of the dynamite which was suppose to be a tool to help the mining industry but became used for war.
I guess it was just interesting that a 12 year old could see that violence stems from thoughts and small acts of violence could build up to a point where more violent acts are become a natural progression if one is not careful.