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Hyoushitsu
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Name: Dopey
Country: United States
State: Arizona
Birthday: 10/3/1984
Gender: Male
Interests: Fantasy. Being the most endearing concept we miserable humans contributed to this world, I find myself constantly losing myself within its enchanting embrace. A true escape from the reality of a world that I could not accept, nor could it accept me. This concept of fantasy has also touched an interest deep inside of me to create it, so I like to write, but sadly enough I find myself deprived of ability and confidence which all but annihilates any chance for me to enjoy this interest. A few have said I have a way with words, but I do not see it. I also enjoy a good video game, mostly RPGs. If you've read this to this point, you should know I favor them because of their stories.
Expertise: I have not an expertise. I am truly unskilled at everything I attempt, and I have not a sharp enough mind to pursue anything efficiently enough to become skilled. I have no use for the world and it truly has no use for me.
Message: message meEmail: email me
MSN: Hyoushitsu @ yahoo.com
AIM:  Death to Sheep
Member Since:
5/6/2004
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| You can't be serious....In times like these, there's really only one thing to say.
Oh, dear.
Irony. It's ironic. There's really nothing else that can be said.
How is it that I've found myself again in this situation? Not only that, but it's actually worse. It's more complicated than before. Seriously, how the fuck did I manage that? I really don't understand humans.
I thought the situation would resolve itself if I just looked the other way. However, it's become increasingly obvious that that is not going to be the case. This ought to be interesting.
Perhaps my wisdom now combined with experience may lead me to navigate the situation with a little more prudence and dignity this time.
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| George Carlin died yesterday. That sucks. Certainly the greatest comedian of the generation.
This is like a huge cherry on top of this shitty year.
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| UGH. WTF. Why the fuck is it ten degrees hotter in here today? Christ. Needless to say, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. Waking up in a puddle of sweat because it's over 90 degrees in the house does that to me. I'm glad I didn't shower last night. Wouldn't have done any good.
I need to get these last bunch of applications in. They've been sitting on the coffee table for about two weeks. I don't have the luxury of putting it off anymore. I told myself to get in gear, and yet here it is, days later. The applications are untouched. I haven't gone to Gamestop like I said I would. I haven't been looking for more. WTF am I doing? I can't be doing this anymore. I can't afford to keep going on without giving a damn.
After living with Jeremy for two years, it feels weird for him to not be here for so long. There was those times he went and visited family for a weekend, but it's different this time. Knowing that he's not coming back for a while gives it a different feel. It feels a tiny bit lonely, even though I'm not alone. I guess that's the feeling I'd expect to have after being around a guy for so long and then suddenly not. At least when I consider someone a friend.
Today is the first day that I've been awake for any amount of time and not thought to myself how vile and petty human beings are. That today is also the first day that I really sat down and listened to music for a while is no doubt not a coincidence. I don't know why I abandoned my music for so long. I guess I was just too bitter. But the music always does me well. I shouldn't have gone without it for so long. Anyone who knows me probably knows that I'm always listening to music. I haven't gone for over a week without it in years, I'd guess. I guess that goes to show how this current situation jarred me.
Now I'm sitting here, typing up this entry with the music playing in my headphones, just waiting for that one particular song to strike up and take me for a ride as it sometimes does. Which will it be, or will it even happen? Who knows. I'm relatively content, because I've got the music. It's getting late, and cooling off a bit. Not bad at all.
I should get on the messengers sometime later this week. I haven't talked to any of my friends there in a long time.
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| I can't believe it.
I've always known how badly this country fucks over people like us. But I never really expected it to happen like this. Poor Jeremy.
Only thing to do is hope it turns out ok. Though I haven't the faith in America's system, so Jeremy is most likely boned.
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| No. This is crap. I need to try harder. I can't just mope around depressed, that's just pathetic and stupid. It doesn't get anything done. Unproductive. It means I'm a fucking asshat. I have to stop half-assing my way around. If there was any point in my life to this point that I need to get in gear, now is it. No more being stubborn. I'm going to have to get out there and try things whether I like it or not.
This is the moment that makes people. I can mope around and give up like a classic loser, or I can get the fuck out there and try my best.
I'm not the perfect example of an adequate person, but goddamn it, I have to do SOMETHING. Things have to change.
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