Something came to a close today. Which is good, of course it's good! But it's also stirred up memories I haven't touched in a while, and the whole experience has been a bit bittersweet. I think perhaps I was not named correctly. A better name for me would have been bittersweet, or BS for short. Heh. :)
It seems that so little of my life is just pure joy. Most of it is a subtle mix of the good and the bad, of the ying and the yang, of the......um.....yeah. That.
Of course, perhaps it's the bitterness of life that reminds you to always be joyful, to be seeking the sweetness, to embrace the good times and to have hope you'll make it through the bad.
And maybe, maybe not everything is 100% pure. Maybe it's never all ying or all yang. Maybe there's a sense of balance to be found in those bittersweet things.
Take my bed, for instance. The bed frame is at the 'Rents, the mattress in The Dungeon. Each night I go to bed with the reminder that I'm in the in-between, that part of me is here and part of me there, and that change is coming. Perhaps the biggest change of my life thus far.
I haven't slept this good in a long time.
Comments (1)
i have a tattoo on my wrist that says joyful. for anyone who knows me very well, they sometimes think that having that word tattoed on my body as a sign of who i am in somewhat of a stretch. i do laugh a lot, but i also revel in the bittersweet and even the plain ol' sad sometimes.
i don't have happy on my wrist. and your name isn't happy. we're introverted. we're writers. we're morose. haha. but that does not stop our joy. i think being happy-go-lucky is different from being joyful. being joyful is just a decision i made to say, "hey God. this place sucks sometimes...oftentimes. but you're awesome and that makes my heart smile even when my face isn't."
i think you're cool, Joy. :)