Monday, June 19, 2006

• Tech Humor

  Tech Support

   

  Tech support:  What kind of computer do you have?
  Female customer:  A white one...
   

  ===============
  
  Customer:  Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
  Tech support:  Have you tried pushing the button?
  Customer:  Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
  Tech support:  That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
  Customer:  No . wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....  
   

  ===============

  
   Tech support:  Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
  Customer:  Your left or my left?
  
  ===============

  
   Tech support:  Good day. How may I help you?
  Male customer:  Hello... I can't print.
  Tech support:  Would you click on "start"  for me and.....
  Customer:  Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, dammit!
   

  ===============

  
  Customer:  Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'.  I've even lifted the printer and held it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
   

  ===============
  
   Customer:  I have problems printing in red...
  Tech support:  Do you have a color printer?
  Customer:  Aaaah....................thank you.
    

  ===============
  
   Tech support:  What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
  Customer:  A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me.
   

  ==============
  
   Customer:  My keyboard is not working anymore.
  Tech support:  Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
  Customer:  No. I can't get behind the computer.
  Tech support:  Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
  Customer:  OK
  Tech support:  Did the keyboard come with you?
  Customer:  Yes
  Tech support:  That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
  Customer:  Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
    

  ===============
  
   Tech support:  Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
  Customer:  Is that 7 in capital letters?
   

  ===============
  
   Customer:  I can't get on the Internet.
  Tech support:  Are you sure you used the right password?
  Customer:  Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
  Tech support:  Can you tell me what the password was?
  Customer:  Five stars.
   

  ===============
  
   Tech support:  What anti-virus program do you use?
  Customer:  Netscape.
  Tech support:  That's not an anti-virus program.
  Customer:  Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
    

  ===============
  
   Customer:   I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
    

  ===============
  
   Tech support:  How may I help you?
  Customer:  I'm writing my first e-mail.
  Tech support:  OK, and what seems to be the problem?
  Customer:  Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it? 

  ===============
  
  A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
  Tech support:  Are you running it under windows?
  Customer:  "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.  The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his  printer is working fine." 
   

  ===============
  
  And last but not least...
  
  Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
  Customer:  I don't have a P.
  Tech support:  On your keyboard, Bob.
  Customer:  What do you mean?
  Tech support:  "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
  
  Customer:  I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

  • 4:01 PM
  • 1 view
  • 2 eprops
  • 1 comment