Sunday, May 04, 2008

• I'm never ready for wekends to end.  We packed in a lot in this one.  We played tennis-twice!  We play one set.  Our game count stayed pretty even, tying at 1-1, 2-2, 3-3, until after 4-4.  I went ahead the next two games to win 6-4 (first one to six, but must win by two!).  The next day we went back out.  I fully expected Todd to win, as when we were playing often and therefore much better, he would probably win more often than me, simply because he is better fit and has more stamina and being down doesn't cause him to fold like it can me.  On Sunday, I took the first two games, leading 2-0, but then it looked like he was going to put me away, going on a five-game streak to take it to 5-2.  Then I went on a streak and came back 5-5.  It was his serve and I knew he was pissed that he let me back in the game, so I fully expected my comeback to end right there.  We went to deuce, back and forth, and finally, I won.  Well, I didn't so much win as he lost!  So it was my serve, 6-5.  I asked him if he won, if he would agree to leave it a tie rather than going on until someone won by two games.  I was tired and sore, and my wrist was starting to hurt.  He said "No way!"  "So what you are saying is I have to beat you?"  Can you say "competitive?"  Yup, that's us.  I'm so glad we have a sport that we can play together.  There's no way I can keep up with him golfing, skiing, or biking (unless we are on the tandem!).  Last
  
  Last year, my arthritis bothered me so much we only played a handful of times, but I am feeling much better now.  And I hope that riding my bike to work the entire month of May is going to be even better! 
  
  May is Bike to Work month.  I picked the perfect time to challenge myself to commuting by bicycle.  There are events and an opportunity to win prizes, too.  At the end of the month, I will post how much weight I lost, as I am expecting hundreds of pounds of fat to melt off my body. 
  
  The rest of the weekend we spent around the house.  I put together the flyers and sponsor sheets for the church Sport-a-thon, one of the biggest social service Sunday fundraisers we have.  Except it hasn't been making much money.  My charter was to figure out how to bring in the promised money.  The way it's worked in the past is that kids would get sponsors to agree to pay $.10 per lap run, or for how many times they could keep a hula hoop spinning, etc.  But the kids never collected the money after the fun, fun event.  So, I decided to change it to get the kids to get sponsors per "event."  I listed 14 events but I'm not sure how many we'll actually have. My thinking was the kids would get a ticket for each event they got a sponsor, but that could leave out a lot of kids.  Newcomers, people who weren't able to get sponsors.  And I was reminded that perhaps my idea (of having winners in each category) was somewhat--or a lot--more competitive than it's been in the past.  So I modified it so for each sponsor, a kid gets to put their ticket in for a raffle prize.  And I guess we'll randomly give out tickets to kids who are enthusiastic and energetic participants that they can enter into the raffle. 
  
  We got our garden going.  Got some seedlings and planted seeds.  Pictures are in order.  Having gardeners made this job so much easier than in the past.  Usually we have to chop down the tropical forest that grows in our side yard before we can get started, but this year, probably helped by the drought, there were no weeds.  Todd got the spool sparkling clean again after I threatened to hire a pool boy. 
  
  Had family dinner Sunday.  Cale went to the store for me, and bought the fixings for grilled steak and salad. I convinced Aaron to join us after work.  Aaron is feeling down but we had a good conversation.  He didn't really want to come after work, but I insisted and he was glad he did.  The curse of the autistic who desires a social life: They never know why someone seems interested in gettng to know them and them suddenly turns cold and distant.  He had been seeing a woman from work.  They had good conversation, and worked their way up to walking around the arboretum on campus.  Suddenly, she stopped answering his text or sending her own.  When he finally asked her what happened, she didn't look up as she said, "Nothing; you did nothing wrong.  Just forget about it."  He had told her he was autistic, too.  He has no idea because he does not have the ability to observe normal feedback from people.  He could tell you if he was boring you to tears.  Normal cues that we send, when we want to end a conversation or visit, such as walking away, avertng our eyes, looking at our watch ,will be completely missed by Aaron.  He will follow you around to continue what he is telling you, and he might be dimly aware of your yawns and glances at your watch, and might comment on you being tired or the neat watch you have, but won't put it together that you want him to leave or stop talking.  I found the book I'd given him about the unwritten rules of social relationships, written by and for autistics, and made him promise me he'd read it in lieu of his normal tendency to beat himself up.  "Aaron, how you explain this disappointment to yourself is important to whether or not you learn from it, or you backslide from it."  He seemed to finally understand where I was going with that.  He admitted that he beat himself up over it the first few days.  And knowing him, he'll continue to, but even he admitted that he's handling this better than in the past.  He's staying on his meds very consistently now, and he goes to group therapy once a week, and I pointed out that he has the option for more therapy if he wants it. 
  
  I am a proponent of therapy.  I was in therapy, once for a year or more, and other times, here and there, as needed.  Probably a good 2 years altogether.  I think it's a wonderful resource and valuable service.  It can be hard to find someone who is a good match for what we need and what are their strengths.  They are not all created equal.  But sometimes we can be our own worst enemy in trying to deal with problems in our one and only precious life. Having the ability to get back on track by talking to someone who has the training and dedication to help is one of the greatest services available.  Why is there any stigma at all to an amazing resource?  I am fortunate to work for an organization that makes such a service readily available, and I have taken advantage of it many, many times over the years.  It's a "Staff Assistance Program," and they have a staff of counselors who will meet with anyone for one hour, and either provide short-term counseling in their office, or help you find someone for longer-term issues.  They can help with personal and work issues.  They have a wealth of knowledge of community resources and can help navigate the confusing world of insurance coverage.  I feel lucky to have such a resource and slightly ahead of the game in that I don't even have to first go through that quicksand of accepting that I need help.  I am the first to admit I need help.  I love getting help.  Even at the top of my game, I'd take a tennis lesson anyday--look at the pros.  Why is life coaching seen any differently? 
  
  That reminds me, I need a tennis lesson!  We joined a mixed-doubles league up in Truckee, and our first tournament is in three weeks.  I've got a busy summer planned.  Mom and I are still planning that trip to Illinois to see her Mom.  Looks like Dee might join us, and we are still hoping to meet Jayme at that time.  We might sneak in a visit to Chicago on the way home.  Then I need to visit Dad; my stepmom Sue wants to join me so we can play tennis and practice for our tournament in November.  And Todd and I have booked our own vacation at a cabn in Truckee--oh, yes, we are loving having that cabin!  I am going to need to rent it out soon to pay for my other vacations.  My niece will give it a trial run in June.  Todd ordered some locks for a couple cabinets where we can store personal stuff.  We need patio furniture and a grill.  I think we can start renting it out this summer--it's just hard to find a time we don't want to use it ourselves!
  
  
  
  
   
  
  

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