Monday, April 30, 2001
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Women's work
Yesterday my husband played a head game on me, and I bit before I realized what he was pulling. He started talking about how his mom built him a desk when he was younger, and I (stupid me) pointed out to him that I could build furniture too, that I had put together the computer hutch in our home, and the next thing I know, I'm in my carport rubbing tung oil into unfinished wood furniture for my 12 year old son's room.
While I'm doing this, my husband is at the rifle range, practicing, and my son is napping. How do men do this? How do they make us feel like we need to be working to make their home nice for them while they goof off? I'm not eating bonbons and watching soaps all week, I have responsibilities during the week too. Just because my job does not provide income or grades, somehow it is right that my work week should be 7 days long, from the moment I wake up to the moment I sleep. My "rest and relaxation" consists of dragging a troop of Girl Scouts around the countryside, or providing financial counselling at Navy/Marine Corps Relief Society, or working at the thrift store, stocking the racks.
No, I'm not a slave under incessant back-breaking labor; I certainly have time to do this weblog (my youngest is in the bathtub as I type). I just feel devalued by my family, that the things I do are not important. Intellectually, I know better, but at times like yesterday, when I stupidly buy in to the concept that Sunday is a day of rest for everyone but the housewife....
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Comments (6)
I'd like to know how men do this too. being a man and not knowing how, i feel i am lacking in an important part of my manhood. joey
was that a smirk? Phooey on that last comment--^
or am I just a doormat for never having pulled that fast one? Either way, I find myself being the manipulee, more often than not. Besides, I have always enjoyed doing furniture...
I agree that the work of a housewife is greatly underappreciated. Most of their work goes completely unnoticed and is rarely acknowledged. It saddens me because many of the people we consider to be successful owe much of their success to the stay-at-home parent, which is predominantly female.
If there were some way to attach a monetary value to the work that housewives perform, I think we'd see 7 figure salaries at the LOW end of the spectrum. Many of their responsibilities rival those of CEOs, yet they have no private jet... administrative assistants... paid vacations... or national recognition.
I try to make sure and tell my mother as often as I can. Because I would not be the man I am today without her... and if no one else tells you, I appreciate the work you do, Juliet. :-) Take care.
Hmmwell, since you made the comment about only men, now I have to reply. I'm not a mommy or a housewife, but I have a mommy who was, for the most part, a single parent. My father is a truck driver who is rarely ever home (one weekend per month or so). Although she isn't the sole provider of income for the family, she has her fair share of responsibilities:
Work (which, of course, she does more than her job description there and often brings it home with her),
the house we now own (she's learning garden/lawn care, doing minor repairs and other home improvement things),
running the trucking business (my father is an owner-operator so she takes care of business bookkeeping as well as the household),
providing for me (from about 2000 miles away), keeping everyone sane and happy (that's a job all on its own!),
taking care of pets,
and, let's not forget, putting up with all of us!
I take my mother for granted more often than I like to think about. She's like this constant in my life who, no matter what, will always be there for me when I need her (at least for a long time to come, God willing) and that's easy to take advantage of.
But, the older I get, the more I realize everything she does and the more I try to help when I can:
I've done my best to remain self-sufficient down here at college (so she doesn't have to worry about me when it comes to money as well),
when I'm home I always do my best to help around the house (do the dishes and clean the house before she gets home from work, so she can actually relax),
I'm a moody person, but I try to maintain a good attitude toward her whenever I'm around (we only have a few months together; I don't want to waste it fighting),
most of all, everything I do is an attempt to make her proud; to show her that all of her hard work and efforts to shape me and my life and to give me a happy/healthy home and perspective on life haven't been wasted.
I guess what I'm saying is that, yes, mom's/housewives can definately be taken for granted and/or underappreciated. But I doubt, seriously, that it's purposeful. There may even be unseen ways in which those around you are trying to repay you (?).
What do I know? I'm just a 19 yr old in college.. LoL
i am a young married man of 22, who does 99% of the housework. cooking (that's my profession), cleaning (i'm damned good at it), laundry, shopping, dishes, tidy-ing, you name it, i do it. my wife is on easy street. just thought i'd let y'all know. (btw, i'm not complaining.)