Conference
I want to a parent teacher conference today at Gordon's school. I hate these, not only because I have never been to one that has appeared to have any type of positive impact ever, but because Jim insists on going, too, and he says things that...well...just aren't things I would say.
Today it seemed like he felt we were on trial, that we had to prove that we were concerned, loving parents. In the process of babbling about how involved he is, he said some of the things that he tells Gordon that I think are verbal abuse, like telling Gordon that he's the worst in the class, and will end up as a homeless person someday. I wonder if the teachers hear it the way I do. They always ask if there is anything I can suggest that would help Gordon succeed, and I always wonder, did they think I knew the solution and am keeping it a secret? If I had any idea how to make Gordon succeed, I would have stormed into that office and made sure they knew about it from day one.
The other thing that Jim does is he takes this attitude that doing something, anything, is better than doing nothing. I disagree, because if you do the wrong thing to try and modify a child's behavior, you can easily make it worse. Jim doesn't worry about that; if he can show that he was actively trying to fix the problem, he's proved what a wonderful parent he is, regardless of whether Gordon is screwed up in the process.
It's just fun fun fun being a parent some days.
Comments (5)
Nope, nope, nope! It's frustrating, and really hard to figure out what to do. Sounds like your husband has some of the same strange ideas about how to treat children as my husband. The difference is mine doesn't flaunt it in front of teachers (hypocrit that he is) & I yell at him when he does it at home. That, however, doesn't help our marriage at all
. All I keep trying to do is give the girls understanding, point out what they should be doing, help them figure out ways to accomplish it, and the consequences if they don't. There is some yelling in there too ;-P ..from both sides.
I wish you great luck figuring it out.