Wednesday, November 26, 2003

• Having family

  One of the traditional things to do on Thanksgiving for most people is to get together with family.  This stems back from a time when you knew who your family members were.  Nowadays, it isn't so clear, and a lot of emotional effort is spent trying to merge everyone’s idea of family to make the holiday work.

  I said in an earlier post that my Aunt Ena isn't really my aunt, and according to my mother, Ena thought that I meant that I didn't consider her family. Nothing could be further from the truth. All I really meant was that she is my mother’s aunt, not mine.

  I know what you are thinking – if Ena is my mother’s aunt, why would she think I don't consider her family?  This is where it gets complicated.  Ena used to be married to my grandmother’s brother Bobby, but they got divorced.  This is one of those situations where the wrong person leaves the family, sort of like when my Aunt Vicki and my Uncle Stanley got divorced.  If I could choose, I probably would have kept Stanley, and even though I think it would make him feel awkward now if I called him my uncle, I still in my heart think of him as my Uncle Stanley.

  I think this might be close to how my mother feels about Ena.  Bobby is the one who wanted Ena out of the family, but my mother disagreed.  I agree with my mother, Ena is definitely a keeper.  I am proud to consider her part of my family, and don't really care about whatever happened all those decades ago.  I think of her as Aunt Ena because that is how my mother refers to her, and it is how I refer to her to my children.

  I think every family has their Ena, and all those Enas should know that they are loved.  I know I love mine.        

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