I have never actually had one of those moments where you could actually just die and be perfectly ok with that.

Dont get me wrong, I've had moments where I wanna die over stupid things, but I've never actually had one of those moments where if I did die it wouldnt really bother me, until thursday.

I had just blazed with nico and luke and brenna and john and nina, and went and layed down on this tall platform in the park thats been set up as the high part of the stage for the plays they do in the park.

I layed there looking up into the cloudy pink sky, because the city never lets the sky actually hit blackness, and as i looked up through the trees listening to ideoteque, smoking a cigarette, and listening to the people I love laughing below me, I realized that if my heart stopped beating all of the sudden out of the blue, that would be ok, because I've never felt happier in my life.