Damn its been forver since i wrote on this thing kinda didn't care because people started looking at this that i really didn't need them to know, but i'm sure they dont check it that much, You know i ask myself every night what is really worth it, Is a girl worth it all is she really worth everything, i mean yea you feel it in your heart but what if your brain questions every thought you have especailly when you have no way of knowing how she really feels, i would put everything on the line, just for that answer but the odds are against me for i know the certainty of the answer i dont want, yes i know people change even i have for the best now, and i owe it all to her i know that she had something she had to take care of and that she would never forget me but all it takes is once for her to meet someone or fix things, then what having feelings that i've never felt before all other girls never ment anything like this towards me, i wish there was an easy way to get the answer i wanted but i would wait Forever for the answer, but i know deep down inside that there's alot more to it like trust, and stupid things i've done in my past which i wish would just disappear but unfourtantly they've scared me for life and especailly that day when i looked into her eyes and saw how much i hurt her i wish i could back to that night i felt like i wanted to die. i would do anything to prove to her that everything i've said about her and to her was from my heart. but a great man said to me once i've seen this 100 times and i dont want you to get hurt and your going to try with every last breathe but you must except the fact that what you want is almost 100 %  of being hurt. well i believe him a man that i've never seen cry did. getting this all out of my chest makes me alot better now. and all i can do is hope and try. because shes worth every breathe, every heart beat, every tear to know if theres even a shadow of a chance.