Saturday, June 28, 2008

• The Sight of a Surise...

  Freedom is good.  Actually, it's pretty much awesome.  You never realize how much you miss your freedom until your out of that controlling relationship.  You never realize how much you miss silly things, like staying up utnil sunrise with your friends, or going to Ihop with people you just met, until you're out of the relationship that took you away from it.  The relationship has been over, but boyyyy do I have a story.

  Last weekend I had my parents house to myself.... wiiiith several of my friends.  I have my computer in my room & one of my friends was on my computer.  I get a scared cry from her, along with a, "Daisy(my knickname).... come here...."  I go in my room & she's looking on google.  She had been searching for 'free phones' when 'free animal sex' popped up.  =|  So we started looking through the google search history & there were other things, details which can be refrained from, being that they're quite disgusting.  However I'll tell you there were searches for horses, donkeys, dogs, couches (yes, couches), etc.  All from when he'd had my computer for about 5 or 6 weeks. 

  So I was completely angry, embarassed, but laughing a little at the same time.  I believe I even made the comment "God, I could handle it if It was normal human porn. but this..."

  So needless to say, just another affirmation that I won't be with him again.  Things have been going well actually.  I'm enjoying being able to do whatever I want without him questioning who I was with or what I was doing.  He always added up the time & told me that it never made sense, the story that I told him.  Then again, I was sometimes lying to him because I knew that if he found out that I was at my friends house for 30 minutes between work & school, he'd have a feild day screaming at me & if he was actually in town, worse...

  But that's all over now & I'm definitely having a better life just being able to do whatever I want, and, actually, being able to go to school & work as well.  Believe it or not he never believed me when I told him I was at school or at work either.  He always found some strange, made up excuse as to why he thought I was somewhere other than what I had told him. 

  I did have a nightmare about him though, two nights ago.  I was just standing there talking to my friends & he was walking towards me continually, not stopping or wavering.  He was just looking straight at me, walking towards me, holding a bright blue (of all things) knife in his hands.  He got right on me & pushed me with his whole body as he walked at a steady pace.  No matter how hard I pushed back I couldn't push him away from me or get around him or anything.  But that was just a dream. 

  And I also had a dream where I signed onto his screen name & another girl had written him a big long msg, then said "I love v" at the end, (no, not u, v) and I got mad at her, not because she was telling him she loved him, but because she couldn't even spell 'you' in 'u' form correctly.  Haha. 

  Anyway, so there's a little update for everyone.  I'll try to get on & write more, but life is busy w/ school & work 4 days a week, 14 hours a day.  Fridays, Saturdays & Sundays I'm usually trying to spend time w/ my family & friends to make up for the weekdays. 

  Hope everyone's summer is going well!

   

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