Anyone can have a blog, but that doesn't matter. Because this one is mine and mine alone. It's a place for me to focus my attention and share my feelings that I'm feeling at the moment. I'm listening to 12 Girls Band and it's beautiful and sad in a way. It's Chinese and I can not but help that I want to cry right now. I don't know what's wrong with me. Things are going really well, I have nothing to complain about. There's aways a few things that we can work on, and it's never the end of the world. This is not an OMG situation that needs ASAP attention. I think that it's just nice to do a "recording" of the moment, a little pulse check to see what's going on?
It's always about the same topic of school, family, love, and money. Worries, oh I have many...
I like to think of myself as an interesting kind, nice, compassionate person. Sometimes I don't say very nice things, then I wan to apologize, but pride gets in the way and I can't utter those I'm sorry, I didn't mean it to be like that, or act like that. A moment to reflect is something we can all work on. Starting today, I will act upon my sincerity and be true to myself more often.
Sometimes I just want to do something that doesn't seem like it should be done, but I do it anyway. Then there are other times when I should do something, and can't. I know as each moment pass by, it's the end of that moment, and nothing can change it. So why not do it the first time, ask for what I want, and if the answer is NO, then did I lose anything? Lesson learned? Always ask for what you want or need. If you want it, there must be an intrinsic, or extrinsic motivation for wanting.
I feel like a little remiss. Why? There must be a thousand reasons why, it's sooo strange living in someone else's house. Even if you are paying rent. You are not free to do whatever you want, because it's not your personal space. I guess I just have to get use to it.
Being the outside sucks. Okie, I could have joined into the project, but why was I not in it? It's because we all have baggages and so we all have to make decisions base on our circumstances. Never forget for one second when you come to the table to negotiate anything, see what cards you are holding, what the other person's holding, before, at, and after the meeting. People behave pretty like the schema that they were written to act, people never stray far, and even then, it's according to so rules they have set up for them self.
I very much want to be a good son. My parents aren't doing that great, and I want for them to be well. A life is very fragile, and well there's never a good time to "hang" out with your aged parents, until it's too late. It's like that when you have time and want to travel and take a vacation, you have no moeny. And when you have money, you don't have time, or can't afford to take some time off. You spend your youth working away life, and only in the end do you spend all the money to buy back so of the memories of youth. No, I will live my life, starting today. Why do I waste time! Time is the only thing that's fair, and equal. We all have a set amount each day. 24 hours.
Comments (2)
It's your xanga you can cry if you want to.
Live your life, that's what I am doing now. Spend time with friends, be true, only be being true will there be no regrets later on...