Friday, March 28, 2008
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What Remains
Currently Reading
Refusing Heaven
By Jack Gilbert
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In living and in death, there so you are. In morning, tendrils curling, steam rising from your body as you step from one plane to the next. Our existence is divided- we walk along the barrier between the living and the dead. Your lips are pale- like the cream in my coffee and the maggots in the pantry who remind me that the food I’ve left alone, no longer want, is theirs. That’s fine. I consist on what remains of you. Living in the shadow of what you left behind, I'm fading, soon to be devoured by the earth, and your embrace.
Fascinated as I was by you, your body sinking in the moor, and strangled as your voice had sounded- I was so still. I could not steel myself to move or offer up my arms or any strength I did not have. I watched you sinking, while screaming inward at my every molecule to save your body from that awful suffocation.
You, who had always been afraid to pull the covers past your chin. You, who could not stand to be in any room devoid of windows. How terrified you must have been to see me, the statue that had loved you, then watched you die.
What is that thick and black that curdles in your throat and rasping, follows me from room to room? Your eyes, so dark, reflections cannot live- so heavy laden lids, and weighted, pressing down on me. But you can freely take what I have left. I am not much but what remains is what belongs to you. I’m begging. Please, begging. Take me, too. Together we can breach that great divide and end this thing.
We'll come to a forever falling.
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Comments (16)
I'm okay...not really. I haven't gotten any acceptances from colleges, only a rejection and no response. I wrote in my most recent entry about confusion D: On the bright side, it's almost Easter, meaning spring break! Freedom!
Haha, thanks!
Darker than usual! Words like 'tendril' and 'maggots' do a good job of conveying that theme for some reason.
"curdles in your throat"-- I could almost taste it, great great line
and the child's face there is actually kind of creepy...
well spotted! They are steak!! soooo yummy! :)
I'm okay, things are better than they were ever before. I'm just still struggling with residual problems from when I was in college. Thanks for asking:). My profile image is from a 7 part series of shorts called "The Diary of Tortov Roddle". You should look them up on youtube, they're about 6 minutes each and really pretty to watch.
Mmm.. most likely UC Davis. It's only two hours from where I live... I don't want to go too far from home. =]
i cannot wait to get out of uc davis. lol
That's really nice stuff! ;)
My manager was fired because her dumb scapegoat ways were just getting old and upper management was finally seeing through her bullshit. She's fired so many ppl in the past, she deserved it.
what sucks so much though is that i have the PS2 version
so i cant download any songs
i wish i could but getting a PS3 just for Rock Band would be defeating the purpose
well D, inspiration is from real life mainly, though I do pull some from books, music, and sometimes movies. sometimes I'll see something or hear something or imagine something that could happen out of the ordinary in a common place and treat as if it were normal. usually the mundane things will do it though. I could be in the shower or be blowing my nose or cooking something and it'll just click. the hard part isn't writing as you may know, it's the editing!
i don't have a specific time that i write if that's what you mean. i don't have a set schedule for this thing since i don't do it for a living, nor would i want to. i just do it when i have free time and feel like it. i have dozens of pieces and unfinished ones floating around in private. i don't write them fast, but i write them frequently. mostly though it's during the day. i usually don't write at night. mostly in the mid-afternoons. i usually write with music in the background, that's the only thing that i need.
i haven't read any of the books yet unfortunately! i noted them all down of course and the last time i was at the bookstore i did stumble on ryu murakami, but the place only had one of his books and i can't remember which one it was. the thing is, i have maybe 3 dozen books i bought that i haven't finished and i'm trying my hardest not to add to that collection before i finish them. eventually i will get them, no worries. but for now, it looks grim :(
i do live on the east coast, in NY to be exact! how about you? struggling through the winter elsewhere or close by?
yeah, jrm is really cute in that movie. i also like him in matchpoint!
oh yeh I know what you mean by forcing yourself to write. Writing for a living is fine, but writing for fun as a hobby genuinely because you like it is much better. there's a certain ring of truth to it sorta. when it becomes a job though, i guess you gotta have a schedule. i agree, that is total crap. professional writers are nothing more than amateur writers who have kept at it.
so do you do it like me where you have a premise and you sit down and write and it comes out spontaneously? or do you have notes and know what's going to happen exactly beforehand?
so you know how it must be to be in a northeast winter! CT is just a train ride away, we're practically neighbors cmon. have you been to the city before? as in NYC I mean of course. but yes, it's been pretty mild this year. very surprising. i've been looking for brutal weather, but now it's hanging in the 40s looking towards spring already. book barn! it sounds as cool as it probably is. what i'd give to see a place like that. used bookstores here are not as fun. they all have to compete with the big shiny chain retailers.
i don't know how it must be to work at a place like that. you must have extreme self-control of not spending your paycheck there every time you get it. cats too! it's probably never boring there. and oh don't worry, i'll probably give in sooner or later and buy a book on your list before i finish the ones i have. it's inevitable. i'll probably start with aimee bender since it was recommended by you and someone else on here so yup i'll definitely let you know. :)
sexy
My god, your writing is absolutely beautiful. It's lovely, it makes me feel and see what you're talking about, and it's just so beautiful... I wish I could write like you, I really do.
haha yeah
i always edit my pictures some way or another
:)
hello....
;)