|
MacGuyver
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Joey
Country: United States
State: California
Birthday: 3/4/1984
Gender: Male
Interests: Watching the sun rise, playing the 6 stringed box, finding the understanding to life
Expertise: im a connoisseur of all kinds, u name it, i can figure it out. But i like to figure out your mind. So take a stab and see what u get. Im not rich, im not poor, im just intelligent enough to understand things. The more you start understanding things, u start to realize the beauty that's inside and not whats merely immediate to our eyez
Occupation: Operations
Industry: Business
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  ZENSCHEMATIC
Member Since:
8/22/2003
|
|
| scorei think i destroyed my bio mid term...hehehe...lets celebrate people, or if anyone can help me put together my new computer, or has computer parts lying around that i could use, that would be nifty too...heheheh
| | |
| The early bird catches the wormso im up early, its frozing, and i cant feel my feet...fortunately, my hands can type though, in any case, another long day ahead of me...if you need me, you know where to find me...call the cell peoples
| | |
| SO...torn up, sliced, and put on the grill for bbqMovie = beer fest...
go see it, youll laugh, shit i was laughing, and if i was laughing that shit is funny.
on the other hand
contemplative.
I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself.
A bird will fall frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself.
-D.H. Lawrence
why do i post this might you ask...in all this world, what i've come to know is that somewhere along the line I became what one might call a wild thing, depending on your point of view...i came into this world, not knowing anything, little have i progressed, for in this world there is an endless amount of information that one cannot even begin to fathom. but i refer to the good sir lawrence in that he is able to capture my very sprit. for if i died tomorrow, i die tomorrow, fall and never return, i would not be a sad man. there is only so much one can do in this life. the question demands an answer then. do you wake up every morning and try to fight for the very essence of what makes you live, what makes you alive, and what your heart will command in order to gain its fill. i think i do, i might not show it, i might not say, but by and by, there is nothing in me that can contain this thirst.
and so you say, what is this thirst....
the thirst that there is something more out there in this world. that there is something more than what we can merely sense with our eyes our ears our nose and our tongues. more than we can ever feel with our digits.
was it not for this passion that endures in my mind. i would be lost again, only wandering around this world such as a vagabond does. with no family, no home, and nothing but myself to lament to.
it seems that i have yet to find another such that will not tire of me, such that can endure with my endurance, such that cannot back down to the challenge.
i run into alot of people here and there, all the time, more and more each week. so as it has been a rare occassion i was particularly sober one weekend, and i couldnt help but just sit alone, like a needle in a haystack, talking to myself in my head, but more over sitting, observing, all those around me, what goes through peoples minds, why they are doing what they are doing, week in and week out. i suppose there is all a giant purpose to everything, that which i can understand, but the bigger picture untold so far.
funny, all in this time, i became the best at hiding my emotion...sometimes its all a disguise under my face, i feel as if time is passing me by. feel as if everything, and some of the only things that ive ever truly wanted in this world will ever be possible for me...
heres a thought:
it seems that this world is against me,
little by little such an emptyness sits inside.
i cannot blame God for anything,
i can only blame myself for everything.
that which i am not, is something i can never be,
i am who i am, i know what i know.
i cannot blame God for anything,
i can only blame myself for everything.
sitting tirelessly,
night after night, slumber will never befriend me.
i cannot blame God for anything,
i can only blame myself for everything.
one day, maybe one day,
i will sleep, and it will become an endless dream
i cannot blame God for anything,
i can only blame myself for everything.
| | |
| BACK IN THE SADDLE, againMood = anxious, thinking about lots of things
what a better way to ventilate, no im serious, anyone who thinks xanga is gay, well, sorry for you and your outlook on life. some people need it, some dont. just like anything in this world, it seems all about what a man needs, and what a man doesnt need. well women too, sorry for the over masculine stereotype of a male dominated society, and the wording that comes with it.
woohoo, so another round of excitement, sorry i havent updated in a while, for some reason things always seem to get more hectic when i think they are supposed to be calm. But as you know, when it rains it pours, at least in my world. started school again and doin the damn thing, which sadly leaves less and less time to my photography. i seem to always be pressed for time now. well, it looks like im just gonna have to work around what i got. its not all that bad, but now i cant just randomly go out at night and do what i please. it seems my life has new direction, one which has to calm the fuq down, ever since i turned into a party animal. dont get me wrong, i love every second of it, meeting new people here and there, and making great friends along the way, ones that i can see myself talking to even when im old and senile. funny how those friends will be even OLDER and senile. hahahah. but life is too short to waste away doing something u feel like a slave to. i suppose the same could be said about school. but believe it or not, somewhere in my mind i need to finish, have to finish. it just wouldnt be right growing up in life knowing that i didnt finish. thats me personally. for all those who didnt finish and still made some headway, much props to you. its a grueling world, and only god knows that it wasnt easy one way or the other. like i said, some people need it, some people dont. You might call them Darwinians, hahah, if you dont know, he never believed in formal education, and so goes HIS tale of evolution.
I find that there are many things in life, that we want, that we need, and it seems for the most part, many of us just settle for what is available. now theres nothing wrong with that, but what happened to achieving the american dream. what happened to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. as days, weeks, months, and years go by, little by little it seems that the truth out there of this dream becomes more blurred. to those that CAN see it, it is a walk in the desert aways. through all the harsh winds, the high dunes, and the blistering sun , we may finally reach a destination, old and withered, with little to enjoy at the moment. all we really care for in the end is that person to sit down and talk to and enjoy a glass of water. If there was anything so great of a heist in this world, it is the heist that corporate america has stolen our dream away.
so heres the new scenario. take a box, whatever size box you feel like, preferably one of size that fits all the junk in your room. now take a look at this box and think whats inside of it. you recount all the memories, all the troubles, all the hardships, the pains, the joys, the tears, the laughter, all boxed up. there are many things in this box, some with which you can share with people, others which only your eyes have seen.
whats the point you say??
too often we forget about what makes us us. we get so busy with our lives, we ferget to look into the contents of that box and remember the dreams, the goals, the ambitions, the tragedy, the pain, the sorrows. usually many of us tape up that box, duct tape, no less, ferget to label it, and push it somewhere deep down into the depths of some storage. we ferget who we are, where we come from. we are too busy trying to make a name and a face for ourselves. still nothing wrong with that, we are simply trying to survive. but take all that we try to be away. and what are you left with, simply those things in that box.
never forget, or else you might not know who you are when you get there.
wow, random, so i decided to start browsing another web page...and all of a sudden i got lost. hahaha...that was like 20 minutes in between this sentence and the paragraph before
well its late, im tired, and got class tomorrow at 10...so ill see you when you get there...
and if your bored this weekend, come to vanguard, or v2o, whichever your flavor izzzz....
| | |
| ANOTHER STEPfeeling: burnt like some bbq, current status, well done...haha
memorial day weekend, and im feeling burnt, 3 rounds, TKO, and contemplating round 4. i wish i was somewhere partying with a certain someone that i know...but for now, i sit here at 530 in the AM. on my desk, in front of my laptop...once can i just wake up when the sun starts to rise, like everyone else, not the other way around. oh well i suppose i cant really complain, but yea, its been fun these past several days, i enjoyed wednesday the most though...hahah, ok, edit time later...peace for now
| | |
|
