BYE/HI LIA

OMFG, guess what? yeah, I'm going to Germany. And by the time I get back, you'll be back, and than we can hang out and it probably won't be just like old times, and you can tell me all about your stupid experiences in italy (which, remember, is said in a snotty, disdainful voice), even though I'm still mad that you went, because I missed you THAT MUCH. but you knew that, right?

byebyebye. lots to do. or not enough to do. in that stage of panic, stuff to do, nerves

it's a really nice day, almost picture perfect, nice blue sky, perfectly white, fluffy clouds, which sets off the calming green to a great effect...warm, comfortable. I wanted to go rollerblading, but no time!

it's weird, I'm almost looking forward to coming back more than going...It's just cause i've, like, blocked out the time I'll be gone as 'in germany/austria time' but I haven't thought about what it'll be like. I mean, I have, but I still have no idea, so I'll just go, and experience, whereas I know what will happen when I get back, which is comforting. good stuff. things will be different, but not to much. looking forward to leaving it for a couple weeks, and have a couple weeks of stuff to get back to when I get back. I don't know how you could leave for a whole year. god, nothing would be the same. and in a country with a language you didn't speak! I've told you what a freak you are, right?

Today I got up and went to tennis for the Cain Park tournament. I played Jenee (isn't that how you spell it? only with an accent on the 3rd e?) and...I WON! It was fun. I was the underdog, so it was totally fun to win. I won the 1st set, 6-3, and then  it was 3-4 in the second set when she said she was feeling like she couldn't breathe and was about to have a heat stroke. So technically it was a default but I did win the 1st set and I was doing well. and if I didn't outplay or outwit, I certainly outlasted.

And then I got my report card. 4 A's, a S, and a B, some as last semester (only last semester the B was in physics, not math.) to get a cumulative 4.27 GPA. pretty good, non? I already knew all of that, but it was still fun to get it.

So my day was good, even though I was going to be sore and sunburned...and then I was feeling bad. I was like, aggh, what is this? I feel like my stomache is kind of bothering me, and my head is kind of heachachy, except that it doesn't hurt, it just niggles like when you're sleepy, only not in a sleepy way. and it was all bothering me unduly much, so that I just wanted to lie down and ignore it all, except that just made it worse, because all I was doing was focusing on the churning and hurting. sooo...

I'm sick again! apparantly I only write in this when I'm sick anymore.

you know what that is? because i'm sick, and I want to complain about it, and I'm sick, so I don't have anything better to do.

This was not a, oh-i-feel-awful sickness like the one before, despite it's start. No, no...it was, I fear, a throwing-up sickness. I threw myself on the bed, writhed in uncomfort for a minute before sensing the call...but not realizing it-or perhaps thinking I could stall it- I was still on the bed when the bright red spew came out of my mouth. I used my hands to hold it, until I could move towards the trash can. I had about three bouts in a row before I got it under control enough to had for the bathroom, to wash up...and, of course, throw up more. it was a minute or two until I was in control enough to shout, "I'm sick!" and clean up.

So that's the only time so far, but if it's the same illness others had, there will be more to come. and there's an ominous rumblin' in my tumblin.

gotta go. going to Tommy's for some reason. probably a bad idea. don't want to hang out bored, here.

I am sick. sick, sick, sick. As is required when I'm sick, I walk around carrying a box of tissues making agonizing noises and telling people I'm sick, and to pity me. So that's what I'm doing here. I'm not really the stoic type.

Yesterday we had to go to Emily's graduation. about 3 hours of pure dullness. Their speaker was pretty good. I love a good, inspiring speech that tells me to do things that I won't really do but sound really good and I want to do. I think it was Mark Mathabane? He wrote a few books, the most famous one being Kaffir Boy.

And then we went to emily's house and had food. talked. it was alright, some boring, some awkward, but the food was not bad and i wasn't sick than.

And so than, about an hour before we got home in the car, I started feeling bad. unnngh.

I woke up at about 4, though I remember several times where I had to wake up, grab a tissue, blow my nose, and than go back to sleep.

So now I have that sickness where it hurts to swallow, but you reallly need water.

I don't think Mom got much of a mother's day, though. couldn't really tell, though, I slept through much of it.

so now I have to probably do my homework... I just have a couple of poly phil journals...but they can take a while and I'm not sure I'm going to school tomorrow.

I hate life. I'm sick, sick, sick.

Today was a pretty good day. I am a 'commended student' with a chance on national merit semi-finalist. but that's not going to happen. ah, well. it still made me happy. mrs. blockson just sent me a letter that said, "I have important info for you. come at the beginning of 3rd period." and I was like, hmmm? so that was cool. me, with all those calc BC nerds (Gabby, Ann, and Matt.) and Ben Bloom and Nathan Gibbon. sweet. look at me, I'm smart.

and so then I went to 3rd period to go on to do terrible on my german test. can't win 'em all.

did I say I got into NHS? swizzle, huh. all that complaining for nothing. I guess it really was worth a try.

ark, I was going to volunteer next saturday but we're going to Emily's graduation. how can I be a good person with all this getting in the way? kidding. but it would have been nice, I think kathy and ashlee were going to be there. now I feel guilty. meep.

Oh, In political philosophy we had a speaker. He was amazing. He fuckin' blew my mind. It was just crazy and humbling and imspiring. He was an engineer, and he went to all these third world countries to help with the engineering at hospitals and stuff, he teaches at Duke and he had started this organization, World Health Engineers or something.

Umm, yeah. than I kind of baby-sat this kid for an hour. 10$/hour, pretty good really. but I am so bad with kids. It was kind of bad. but that's alright. oy vey.

oh, I have to fill out my passport stuff tonight and get it all done tomorrow morning. yark.

and then we went to Kim + Kristi's house. we grilled stuff. chicken, salmon, pineapple, mushrooms. they had animal crackers! from Costco. I took some home. oh, and strawberries and ice cream for dessert. mmmm.

it was just a kind of good day for a friday.

Oh, and yesterday, I won the Dorothy Raymond award from the league of woman voters. Mr. Rose made me write the essay. me and Rhonda were the only ones who did it, I'm pretty sure, and they gave it to both of us. I don't mind, it's kind of cool that I won, but I feel kind of guilty about it too. I'm so not what they really were looking for...on the other hand, whatever. It's cool anyways. but I have to go there on tuesday-which is, of course, TV day-I think it's season finale of gilmore girls, scrubs, house, veronica mars (I think the season finale too), law and order SVU...oy vey. and it's not going to be fun. I'm going to have to sit through an hour and a half long meeting so I can get presented an award that I don't deserve, and they're going to 'introduce' me. I hate when they do that. they ask you for all these things about yourself, so you just feel inadequete and stupid when they say all these things...whatever.

erm...yeah. I guess that's it. but today was kind of good, compared to the rest of the week which was all sucky and sleep-deprivy.

okay, that's it. have a nice day.

Okay, now I have to come down from up off a TV high. oh, TV. you delight me. I won't bore you with the details, because you won't know what I'm talking about. but West Wing, Desperate Housewives, Gray's Anatomy...all so good.

Also, I was all alone in the house. which, of course, means I didn't do anything, but I felt more free to do all of that nothing. I was kind of hyped up by it all.

Plus, I stayed all day in my pajamas. which is kind of exciting by all accounts. It's just...the day doesn't feel real, it doesn't really start until you get dressed and take a shower. So if you don't get dressed, you just live in a kind of, soft, unreal, do-whatever-you-want kind of state. because, you see, if the day never starts, you never have to really do anything until it does. you know, anything hard or school-like.

It was awesome. pajamas are just so ultimately comfortable.  they are perfect. some day, in the future, we will all were pajamas, and it will be just as normal as today jeans are and before petticoats and trousers and stuff were before. that is, if the future's any smarter then we are.

Yes...right. I'm serious. you don't have to worry about anything if you're still in pajamas, because the day hasn't started! it's kind of brilliant. so, right. so now it's bedtime, and I'm in my pajamas...but I gotta do a little schoolwork, otherwise...well. nothing would probably happen except a few points perhaps. but I'm still going to do it, because I'm lame like that.

today was  a blur of reading, tv, chilling...being in total comfort. I even went outside once. it was beautiful. I almost wished I had done something outside like played tennis,  but I was too happy and comfortable inside to care.

Yesterday I woke up at...yeah, 5:30. pm. it was impressive. It was, I believe...13 or so hours of sleep. I tell you, give me a single day and I can screw up my sleep schedule worse than ANYONE. if only that was a useful skill. maybe it college it will be useful. not that I really even have a sleep schedule. Right, so I woke up. and then it was pretty much dinner time (okay, there was a couple hours of which I can't really account for but I'm pretty sure nothing happened) and then we went to Outback Steakhouse. which is awesome. it is delicious.

But, yeah, it was a sucky week. friday was fun, but that was it. just the stupid, normal stuff that somehow prevent me from getting to sleep at a reasonable time (it's my fault, really.)

The seniors who are on project are leaving after this week. :o What are you going to do for yours? I have no idea for mine. meh. I'm just impressed by Jeremy Meckler's dedication to slackitude: He actually, seriously got permission to go camping for a weekend-and since it's a weekend, it fills all the time requirements, and he gets all the rest of it to do whatever he wants. amazing, really.