| | Today was kinda boring. I could'nt sleep last night so I took 3 tablespoons of nightquil. I was passed out ater that! lol
I did'nt wake up until 3 so, I guess it worked. Well when I woke up my ex-boyfriend chris had called me, and asked if I wanted to go to dinner with him. So i said "SURE.....WHY NOT?"
We went to dinner, and he did'nt even eat anything. I mean here's me, mowin down tons of food, and hes just sitting there, watching me. (i love food) I felt so uncomfortable.
On the drive home, he talked about how much he missed me, and how much he wanted me back, and blah blah blah. Well he started to get frustrated that I was'nt saying anything back to him, and he asked me why. I said "you expect me to just run to you with open arms after you just dumped me with no reason? I mean we had an awsome relationship, and you just never called me again, and never gave me a reason why!" He said he was sorry, and he knew what he did was a mistake, and that he could make thing's perfect. He said he would buy the necklace I always wanted, and he had a snowmobile waiting for me at his house, and all this stuff. I said to him "chris....I don't care if you never bought me jewelry, or anything like that. I don't care about what you can buy me or how much money you have......I was good to you, and you threw that away like it was nothing. All I ever wanted was to be treated the way I treated you." He did'nt say anything after that except im sorry.
When I was getting out of the car he just looked at me, like he wanted to cry. I felt bad, but he was'nt thinking about how I felt when he just got up, and left me with no reason. So I huged him, and told him "thank you for dinner, but you cant just expect to buy me dinner and walk back into my life again. It is'nt gonna happen like that. You hurt me, and a night of dinner is'nt going to fix that. Im sorry but its not going to happen." He said he knew that, and he is going to try.(whatever that means) So.... he leaned over to kiss me, and i guess i got scared, so i pretended to sneeze!!!(ask my mom im good at that) He said "god bless you", and I said "thanx, and goodnight", and i got out.
I dunno why these men I talk to have this problem. lol I mean I treat them like gold when we are together. Im basically everything they ever wanted in a girlfriend. But they take advantage of my soft heart, and they winde up hurting me. Then when Im gone, and out of their live's, they want me back. I mean does it really take loosing someone like me to realize how good you had it? Or is it just because i jinxed them, and they are desperate now that they CANT get another girl?
Why is it that I get men i dont want to practically fall in love with me, but I can't get the one man I ever loved to want me. Maybe they see something he does'nt. I mean Ive had a 40 year old man stressing me over the summer. lol He would come to my work, and bring me chocolet (like i don't know what that is..I may be young but...I know what that is. lol) He bought me concert ticket's, and told me I could take his lexus whenever I wanted. I mean he would come to my work every day! It was scary. So one day I asked him if he knew how old I was. He said, "22...maybe 23?" I said "wow!!!...really?! No but I think you should know." He said "how old?" I said "guess again." He said "21?" and i shook my head no again. "20?" he said with a look like there was still hope lol. i said "nope." Then he asked "so how old are you?" I just smiled. He said "young enough for me to not be talking to you right now?" I shook my head yes. We stood there for acouple mins, and finally he asked, "well what do i say now?", with alittle giggle. I shrugged my shoulder's, and said "I dunno...goodbye?" He just walked away. I only saw him once after that. At a chinese place. We exchanged hello's but that was it. I dunno why it is but alot of older men have a thing for me. (the young skinny blonde type) lol |
