Friday, February 01, 2008

• A Story....

  "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path"  ~ Proverbs 3:5-6
  "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you..to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11
  
  This passage from Proverbs and the verse from Jeremiah have been guiding words for most of my life.  At times when my faith was weak...God would remind me of His love through these verses.  I would once again put my desires, goals and dreams back on the altar and surrender completely to Him.  I don't know about the rest of you...but it always seemed to be easier to tell someone they should do this than to actually do it myself. 
  
  Year after year, day after day I did the same thing...until finally one day, I knew that I meant it with all my heart when I told the Lord that I was content to be where He had me.  I no longer desired to be in the world and experience things.  I wanted nothing more than to rest in Him, stay home and serve my family.  After ten years of wrestling with this contentment and finding my identity in my relationship with Christ, I was truly at peace, complete peace and I was happy!  I was planning how the next four years of my life and how they were going to be spent on various projects with my brothers and sisters, finding ways I could help my mom around the house and with her business.  I discovered I didn't have time for the "C" word or a relationship with any young man that could lead to the "M" word because I had too many things to do.  With peace in my heart and being able to completely rest in the Lord, I was freed from the pressure of 'Old Maid Syndrome'.  You know what I mean...when people ask you things like 'How is your love life' and 'You do realize your biological clock is ticking'!  It makes you feel like something is wrong with you! I make it a point to never say such things!
  
  When you are raised with a goal to be number one, a daughter of the King and number two, prepare all you can to be a wife and mother....well, it is easy to let number two become a focus.  When out of control, this misdirected focus causes every young man you meet to be compared to "The List" and seen as a potential spouse. 
  
  While this comparison can be useful, and has been thus often in my own life, it is also easy to let it become more important than serving the Lord with your whole heart.  As I made the choice to be free of this bondage, there was such joy resting in this freedom brought to my life!"
  
  
  Then a most unexpected thing happened....
  
  I found out that my best guy friend (who is not related to me by birth) had called my dad and asked if he had any kind of chance to be more than "just friends" with me!  I was so shocked I could hardly speak...and for me that is no small thing! 
  
  Now most girls would probably jump up and down and say "did he really?"  Not me.  I said "He did what?"
  
  I know, I know...what kind of a response is that when a young man finally notices you and talks to your dad? 
  
  Well, my history with this fella' over the last five years has been full of fun times, sad times and lots of time sharing each others burdens in regard to our respective ministries.  We have so much in common...yet when I thought of anything more than friends with him, I had no peace in my heart.  Secretly I wished it would work, but I knew I could not not change the things in his life that I desired to be different and I didn't want to ruin a good friendship.  In fact, I convinced myself that in no way, at no time, would it ever work...and via my brother said to this fella' : "There is no way I would ever consider marrying you!" 
  
  Let me pause here and say to all my Ms. Bennett and Mr. Darcy fans...you might find a few similarities in this story!
  
  While I didn't find out until much later that my words had been exactly relayed to him, I knew that I had done the right thing...even if it had not been handled in the best way.  Over the next three years we continued to be friends and things were fine as far as I was concerned.  Little did I know what God was about to do and the story that would unfold before my eyes....
  
  To Be Continued....

  • 4:56 PM
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