New Years Eve

 Haven't updated this thing in forever!!! Myspace has all the fill in updates though! I've been really good.... and yeah lol. So just going to post pictures and update so it will make updating in myspace easier.

Pictures from hanging out at Cy's one night (don't remember when)... 
 
Tonight should be fun. Everyone hanging out at Jeremy's at least I think that is still the plan with the snow on the ground anyway. Oh well I'm sure we will stay warm. Anywho I don't really know what else to write. So I'll just say goodbye to the old year and welcome the new one... Here is hoping its a great one. Untill 2007....
Lauren
~Noodle~

Lost and feeling alone

So i'm not feeling so well. Not sick, just sad. Is it possible to feel your friends slip away? I mean I just feel like no one cares anymore. Did I fuck up that much to allow no one to talk to me? I'm not that bad of a person am I? I actually think it makes someone strong to not cry when they have been given-up on, or left alone, or forgotten. And thats just what I feel like now. I don't even feel like I have a boyfriend right now. ~thats hard to say~ Its just I try to please way too many people at once when I feel like no one is really doing something for me. I give everything to my friends and what do they do... say that I'm not mature and don't have reponsibility and need to grow up. I give everything to my parents... I help around the house everyday, I come home when I'm suppose to, and I stay out of trouble as best as I can and what do I get for it? To be ignored when they come home.... to where my mom serves my dad and I'm just stuck being "here" because I can't ask to hang out with my friends or my boyfriend. I try to be everything for Jeremy I really do. I just don't like to go over there every time he doesn't work. It feel like well I don't have work so come see me because your my girlfriend. It shouldn't feel like that. Take tonight for instance.... I was suppose to hang out with him yesterday but he went into work (no biggy... i understand he went to work). Tonight he had to work and I don't really know what time he gets off but around 10... he says that I should go to Cy's... I mean come on now does no one know that I have to be home at like 12 maybe 1 on most nights and thats even if I get out earlier. For me its stupid to ask to only be out for maybe two hours because I know my parents will not let me. And I know by the time he gets off work (he might already be) that it will be around 11 and its just pointless for me to get out. I just feel so alone in the fact that I can't do anything. I sad that I don't get to see my friends (if I even have any anymore). It just sucks so bad to be sitting here and writing all the shit Im sad about because I don't want to be. I want to be at Cy's right now... but I don't want to drive... I want Jeremy to at least offer to drive me somewhere that he wants me to go. Especially when there has been snow on the ground and everything. It just feels like i've been deserted and no one is coming back. (thats the alone part of the subject). Being lost is just that I don't know how I got here I mean everything seemed so in place... untill this weekend when everything I guess became clearer. Yeah anyway I think I'm going to go read. Yeah reading what fun... but I don't really feel like doing anything else. I dont feel like staying on the computer to read blog entries about me and have people comment on them just agreeing that I still act like I'm 15. and I don't need my parents asking me what I'm doing (even though they are sleeping right now and don't care). and I don't need Jeremy, and Kayla texting me telling me I should be somewhere havening fun when I can't. So going to go read... no harm in that.
Lauren
~Noodle~

Loneliness is a sickness

okay so lets see if I can catch up on things since I haven't updated in a while...
Monday- Matty took me out to lunch (interesting convo there lol).
Tuesday- Halloween! Went over to Buddy's cause he didn't go to school. We went to Taco bell and walked around the mall (it was fun lol). Went home and when the trick-or-treaters started coming by I got into black hood thing to pass out candy. Only did it once and then went in my room to watch Twitches. Ate too much candy, I think, and felt sick so I went to bed around 11ish.
Wednesday- Came home and did a little bit of my homework. When mom came home we went to the bank and then to walmart then to taco shop to get something to eat, watched the richlist and they went to bed. I took a shower and then went to bed.
Today- So far.... laughed at the roofers this morning cause the old man was cussing it was funny. went to school (alright day for having math and english). Came home and did the dishes, some laundry, and I'm about to vaccum and clean my room so I can do the other laundry. Shelly came  by and gave me the money she owes mom. Anywho off to do chores and maybe math homework.
For Tomorrow: The play OF MICE AND MEN! Me and Buddy are going to go see it. I'll update either tomorrow or saturday. Untill then
Lauren
~Noodle~

Forget Him Hes Gone Forever

Forget his name
Forget his face
Forget his kiss and warm embrace
Forget the love that once was true
Remember now theres someone else
Forget the love that both had shared
Forget the fact that he once cared
Forget the times you spent together
Remember now he gone forever
Forget you cried the whole night long
Forget when they played your song
Forget how close you two once were
Remember now hes chosen her
Forget you memoried his walk
Forget the way he used to talk
Forget the times he got mad
Remember now how he makes you sad
Forget the times you spent alone
Forget the times he used to phone
Forget he made your dreams come true
Remember now there is nothing you can do
Forget his gentle teasing way
Forget you talked everyday
Forget the way he played your game
Remember now things aren't the same
Forget the way he held your hand
Forget the sweet things if you can
Forget the way he loved you too
Remember now you both are through
Forget the times they went by to fast
Forget them they are all in the past
Forget he said "I'll never leave you"
Remember now hes gone forever.

Its funny what happens when love turns into hate or when it doesn't change at all. God why does he still make me cry? I just can't do it anymore I can't have contact with him. I'm done with everything again! God I can't do anything right. About to do something again....