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Practical Principles for Blind Dating

My father is a long-term bachelor.  And a good-looking, successful one at that.  Now while he entirely content in his singlehood, both in word and practice, the entire world feels it is their duty to set him up with someone.  A friend of a friend's sister in law's second cousin on their mother's side.  My college roommate's god daughter's aunt's best friend in highschool.  Everyone has someone who, “would be perfect for Paul." 

So over the past 15 years, my Dad has endured his fair share of blind dates.  He admits, with some amusement, that none of these have ever been remotely successful.  Some were different religions, others rather unattractive, and a few, just plain unfriendly.  My favorite installment was Ms. “I-am-woman-hear-me-roar,” who, quite ironically, wore leopard print almost exclusively. 

The other night, after laughing until my belly ached, Dad shared few principles of blind dating with me, which he called "a distillation of experience."  And now I share them with you:

1. The matchmaker needs to know you well. They should be familiar with youur likes and dislikes, and what you look for in a date.  If you’re out to find a tall, handsome lumberjack and they set you up with Snurdley Do-right who’s 120 pounds wet, and just happens to work for the DNR, this is not acceptable.  They probably didn't know you very well.  Or maybe they really don’t like you…
2. The matchmaker ought to have some knowledge of the person they’re setting you up with.  Direct firsthand interaction of the individual is preferable.  Just because someone is single does not make them eligible.  That should be self-evident, but apparently it isn’t.  Quite surprisingly, many people are willing to set their friends up with dates they know almost nothing about, just because they can.
3. Avoid humanitarian dates.  Try not to get yourself in situation where you are being set up to make the other person feel better.  If you, good-looking and successful person that you are, end up with a self-conscious, socially unacceptable, unemployed schmuck, chances are, you've been had.  This date is not about you.  You exist only as a human B-12 shot for their self-esteem.  Run as fast as you can and don't look back.
4. The location for the date should be a neutral location.  Perhaps a restaurant, coffee house, or some other decent, well-lit establishment.  Both people should arrive by their own transportation.  This allows either party to make a quick exit if the date is a disaster.
5. Steer clear of dates arranged by the opposite sex. If you’re a guy, it’s a high risk to be set up by a female, especially where the date is one of her friends.  She's looking out for the girl, not you.  I guarantee that 99% of all the mental energy invested in this situation is directed toward whether you will be good for her, not the other way around.  Likewise, if you’re a girl and you get set up by a guy, the problem is similar.  He’s thinking, “Hey, she’s good looking and smart.  My boozing, unemployed roommate would love her.”  And since the man has probably deliberated about the match one-tenth of the time the average female would, you have even less than one percent of conscious thought going for you.
6. By in large, have low expectations.  In fact.  It’s usually a bad idea period.  So just don’t do it. 

Now I'm sure someone is going to tell me that their happily married mother and father met in such a way, which is wonderful.  But a few lucky shots don't vidicate it's abismal track record.  And I can still think of about fifty better ways to introduce complete strangers to one another.

So, yes, all that to say that blind-dating is a genetically flawed  enterprise.  And for that matter, dating in general, at least in its more modern forms.  But that's another blog for another time...

However, comma...

There is one form of dating I support wholeheartedly.  Dates with Dad are great.  This one was entirely spontaneous.  Sometimes I think those are the best.  Below, two lattes and my newly acquired knowledge of a camera timer...

Those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer...

Minnesota is oppressively hot right now.  Which means that roughly one half of the state is Up North at The Lake, thinking of ways to put themselves in the ER.   I exaggerate, but you get the idea.

I went to the Coborn's Annual Garden Party on Thursday, which was delightful.  Lots of noodle salad, and smiling, and good, old fashioned politicking.  And I got to wear pearls and a dress and sit next to the mayor, so it was definitely a good day at work. 

ESL continues, slowly.  I've decided I'm glad English is my first language, because let me tell you, it is a nightmare to learn.  I'm learning some Somali though.  Hello, goodbye, good morning, good afternoon, and..."without a brain," which is their word for "unconcious."  Clever, no?

May I recommend...

• The Soundtrack for the new Pride and Prejudice:  Alright, so I liked the BBC version of Pride and Prejudice better, but the soundtrack for the new movie is amazing.  I picked it up tonight and I've already listened to it four times.  Very relaxing.  I anticipate it will be good study music.  "The Living Sculptures of Pemberly" and "Your Hands Are Cold" are my favorite tracks, so far...
• Air-conditioning: For obvious reasons.
• Old fashioned, handwritten letters:  I've received a few recently, and plan on sending some soon.  Much more fun to get than emails.  You guys should try them.
• Laughing Cow Cheese: A soft swiss cheese spread.  Actually pretty healthy for you.  Comes in cute little individually wrapped sections.  Quite delicious on absolutely everything.
• Laughter: truly, the best medicine
• Taking every thought captive: "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" 2 Cor. 10:5

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For life, liberty, lattes, laughter, letters, Leila, and lots of other lovely things,
And God bless you,
Miss Schultz