Monday, May 12, 2008

• 

  I am horrifically depressed.
  My boy left me.
  We weren't really together, but I thought that that was okay.
  We had so much fun together and there were no attatchments.
  I adored his eyes and the way he looked at me.
  But he wanted "a relationship"
  so he went back to her..
  she hates me.
  
  I get this text last night saying, "I'm getting back together with her, I don't think we should talk anymore."
  3 months of me and he cuts it off like that...
  
  Was I not worth it?
  I guess not.

  I've been crying non-stop.
  I never feel this much pain over something so pathetic.
  I didn't want to be with him..did I?
  Then why does this hurt so bad?

  I'm going to try to stick to a 1000 calorie intake.
  This will keep my metabolism up until I get to 105 and then I'm going to decrease to 960.

   

  
  I think it's so amazing that two of them exist.
  They're so beautiful.

  

   

  Update: I really wish I wouldn't have had that money stolen...I'm craving some white ladies right now.
  Or some alcohol...
  Running from my feelings.
  Hiding from my sadness.
  Mask that hides me.

  
  Soup. 100 cals.
  Soymilk. 110 cals.
  1/2 apple. 40 cals?
  chai latte. ugh, 190 cals.

  Ugh...total binge.
  2 pieces of bread. Bowl of soup. 7 crackers. 2 eggs. = 540 cals?
  Fruit smoothie. 220 cals.
  No problem. I'm done eating for the day.  I didn't want to eat anyway...

  
  20 min walk. -127 cals.
  10 min walk. -63 cals.

  
  1000-1200= -200 +190 =
  10 cals over!
  Lame.

  • 1:17 PM
  • 4 eprops
  • 3 comments