Monday, July 07, 2008
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Why are you single?
I hate that question. Or any variations thereof. Such as “why are you still single?” Especially from those overly affectionate and inseparable couples who love to flaunt their PDA.
When I give a stock response, such as “I’m not ready to settle because I’m still looking for the right person” with a forced smile, the girl (and it’s always the girl) gives me the sympathy speech about how there is someone out there for everyone. She then goes into an unnecessarily detailed account of how she met her boyfriend, how they overcame so many obstacles, how she forgave him for cheating on her for 23940832 times (ok fine, slight exaggeration), etc. But nothing matters because they’re meant for each other in the end.
Gag.
Jealous much? Maybe. It’s almost as annoying as my family going into a tirade about me finding only divorced men with children the longer I wait. There is something about deformed babies in the conversation as well.
Honestly, it’s not like I want to be single. But unlike most people, I know why I still am: I have too much baggage that I’m not willing to dump. Maybe that’s why I hate it when people ask me that question – I hate admitting that the problem is mostly from my end.
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Comments (56)
couples are overrated =\
@mayanao - word
And I'm single because I'm like you, lots of complications. And bad timing recently.
i'm still trying to find a girl that's not so clingy and will give me enough space. being single is fun.
but maybe being single is not always that bad? i've been with my bf so long sometimes i wish i knew what it was like to be freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Maybe once you get into a relationship, the baggage will just go away? I dunno, I found my baggage was a little too heavy and I didn't want to carry it anymore.
I never get that question. People expect me to be single. :-/
that shouldnt even be a real question. i've never asked anyone that because its stupid, and completely insensitive. especially when posed by one of those sickening couples. its hard to take emotional and mental inventory and clean out alot of junk thats been shoved away piling up for so long....and sometimes you dont even have to because as we grow, the trivial things weed themselves out and drop off. when youre ready to, you'll figure your way through the issues,and begin to move on. theres never a time when ive sat down to say, "hey...i really need to get rid of some baggage." theres no plan when it comes to healing old wounds. all i can do for myself is to recognize my patterns and habits, and consciously make changes one step at a time.
"Because I'm in love with myself."
I hate getting asked that question too. There's no right answer...
my baggage is basically that im a prude. i should just dump some standards...
Being single is a little easier sometimes than being in a relationship. My boyfriend and I just broke up (I have a long account of my own on how that went...sad) and sometimes it's just an uphill battle. I know how people can be though. It's like a pity thing. It's like, please. I'm single because I choose to be.
I'm in a relationship now, but I used to HATE it when people would ask me why I was single. First of all, it's none of their business, and secondly, it always seemed the only reason they wanted to know was to make themselves feel better or to make me feel worse. There's nothing wrong with being single; there's lots of single people in the world. Some people choose to stay single their entire lives. I'll never understand why some people just can't get it.
Take your time. When has rushing ever been good for relationships? I have a friend that preaches the same thing. 10 times out of 10, she's bailed on on the guy and regretted her decision. Then, I sit there with my "You were saying?" look.
The key is not finding someone who can tolerate your baggage, but rather finding someone who will help you carry it. This doesn't mean that there is something inherently wrong with you and you need help carrying it or that you somehow need to be rescued, but it all boils down to having someone who is willing to put himself/herself out there in an uncomfortable position to do things like that for you because one day in the future we will all be helpless and need someone to cover us with a blanket.
Anyone less than that and it's more worth your time staying single.
at least ur being honest and know where to start fixing things. but i agree with fransabunch comment above... that is very true.
I tell people I'm single because I have not been outdoors for approximately 10 years.
Now that I'm back out I've been running this canned material on people and it seems to be working very well. I have a list of NYC ravers to run game (budding game) on as well so this summer has been interesting.
See the good thing about seducing ravers is you can make jokes are things like AIDS and child molestation and well as the stupid ways of white folks and they actually think it's very funny.
Strange world we live in... truly it is.
Now why are you single?
@Reality_vs_Ideality - Werd.
i've been single for well over two years and a half now, and i get that comment all the time.
all. the. freakin'. TIME.
it's like, wtf? why should i NOT be single? is there something wrong with being a single woman these days? hmph.
Because I don't have time for him and he knows it.
@b3aovang - no... don't.... I promise there's someone out there with the same standards.
yes, i'm starting to enjoy the freedom that comes with being single
pshh... because i can be =]
wasn't ready and i just haven't found the right person
God knows. Maybe this warrants an entry from me. All I know is sympathy and platitudes are not comforting in the least.
is like they will give u a look like "is there something wrong with you?" wutever, I look at them like I'm actually happy w.out a cheating bf, inconsiderate, immature, not settling for anyone, just to have a guy type of relationship....
lol.. no one asks me that. But I see what you are saying. it's like, "why are you single huh? *smooch *smooch.. this is so fun!" heheh. -- It's pretty obvious to me what my issue is, there are NO attractive guys on my campus. just lazy, stinky, slobs. ;)