Relationships

 I've been mulling over what my first Xanga entry would be for the past few days now, just waiting for something to inspire me to write.  I thought about writing to update everyone on what has happened in the past 3 years since I've posted, but figured you'd be able to infer those things about me if you stick around long enough to read more entries.

Before I start...everybody loves pictures, so here's one of some girlfriends at Trang and Ian's wedding reception on August 23rd, 2008.  I'm the girl in the back, second in from the left throwing up the peace sign.  Congrats to Trang and Ian!!! 





















So I considered sharing my thoughts and asking for yours on topics like disappointment, heroes, money, careers, guilty pleasures and regret before finally settling on relationships; poke in from time to time, you'll probably catch an entry on some of the things I just listed.

Relationships.  I don't just mean the romantic kind.  I'm talking about the relationships with EVERYONE in your life.  Relationships are a shitload of work. Their existence creates the intricate web of human interactions we encounter everyday, creating the core of our lives (omg I can be SO CORNY).  But really, the relationships I have with people determine just about every part of my day and my life, including my well-being. Think about how many you have:

Yourself
Immediate and extended family
Best, life long friends
Casual friends
Work friends
Bosses
Old, lost friends
Boyfriends
Girlfriends
New friends
Enemies
Husbands
Wives
Mentors
Mentees
Networking friends
(put "potential" or "ex" in front of any of these)

Think about the relationships in your life. No really, go on and do it.  Now, think about how many of those you're extremely happy and satisifed with.  Then, think of the ones that you wish were different, better.  Think of some specific examples.

Example:
I'm very happy with the relationship I have with my friend Vanessa Hudgens.  We've been friends since we were in diapers, and the friendship continues to grow and change for the better.  We spend a lot of time together and are able to talk about almost anything. Sometimes I'm jealous that she's dating my future husband, Zac, but I know they're great for each other.  We trust each other and are there for each other - we also have a blast together. 

Or...
I love my friend Miley Cyrus, but our time apart since college has taken a toll on our friendship.  We used to see each other everyday and spent most of our time together.  We could tell each other EVERYTHING and anything and depended on the consistency of our contact each day.  Now that I am not there to keep an eye on her, she's gone wild and posts pictures of herself nude.  And, now that we don't live down the block from each other and we have pesky things like work to worry about, we hardly see each other and are growing more distant. Sad face.

Or perhaps...
I have the freaking hots for Justin Timberlake. HOT HOT HOT.  He might like me, but I'm not sure.  I can't stand just being friends anymore - it's killing me!  I just want to love him and I want him to love me!!  When I see him I about jump on him and start sucking his face. 

Now - ask yourself what you should do to keep the happy relationships happy and then ask yourself what you can do to make the relationships you want to change be what you want them to be.  I think, at least for me, I can be a major relationship SLACKER.  I take advantage of the good ones and forget that they take constant care to stay happy - like a delicate plant that needs a specific amount of food and water to be lively and green, without which it can easily become sick and wilted.  Try to bring that sucker back when it's leaves are all brown and crispy - not easy!  Don't be discouraged though because the sustenance a relationships needs to be healthy isn't anything crazy - phone calls, text messages, coffee dates, talking about stuff that matters to you, etc.  Do I sound like Dr. Phil yet? Sorry.

On the other hand, I don't do anything to fix the relationships that I'm certain I want to be different.  It's so easy to let these things go...to procrastinate to the point where it seems too late to even try.  What is it? For me, it's a combination of being lazy and of uncertainty of how the other person will respond.  I can think of so many awesome friendships I've allowed to become memories, friendships that I, to this day, think about and then say, "I'll call her/him tomorrow to see how she/he is doing". I can also think of work relationships I wanted to get more out of and friendships that coulda/woulda/shoulda been more than friendships...How easily the days become years. 

What was the point of this entry? I guess I've just been thinking a lot about the relationships in my life and how so many of them could be so much more (or less, or different) than they are.  There also comes a time when you need to think about consolidating your friendships - you've got to begin cultivating the ones that are worth it...and weeding out the ones that that are making the rest of your garden sick (I don't know where the gardening metaphors came from).

This entry was really long and I probably lost a lot of you guys after the second paragraph...congratulations if you've made it to the end.  I promise future entries will be more concise and full of pretty pictures!

Maybe I can drag some of you guys back to blogging - I kinda miss it an am getting sick of looking at myspace and facebook pictures all day!  Variety is the spice of my life.  Like extra spicy papaya salad. 

For making it to the end, you get another picture!!  This one is of the girls in Vegas for Trang's bachelorette party - there are more where this came from, but you won't see any of the really good ones unless u know a secret password...

















Me.Viriya.Truffles.Be.Jillie.Amy.Tia

Back!

I'm going to start this up again - I need a release for all the crazy that happens in my head!

<33

thursday nights in eugene are becoming quite entertaining.

it was lydias 22nd birthday yesterday so we went out to red robin and then back to her place for cake and singing and turbo cranium - man that game is intense. anyway, me and amy had waaaaay too much to drink during the game. after an hour and a half of some good cranium action (go blue!), 3 glasses of wine, 2 shots of nasty vodka and a beer, we headed over to rockin' rodeo to see what all the buzz was about. the alcohol really started to kick in on the drive to the bar.

i mean, it was alright, nothing too special. me and amy tore it up on the dance floor together (dancing drunk is so much better than doing it sober and being all self conscious). after a few songs songs, we were all danced out and as soon as we stopped dancing, we both immediately felt sick. birthday girl wasn't doing too well either - it was time to go home. a big thanks to sop, john and wannita for being our sober saviors =)

you know, even when i'm drunk, i'm thinking pretty clearly. i know exactly what i'm doing, but even though i know i shouldn't be doing it, i do it anyways. its crazy beans i tell you.

anyway, got home at like 2, asleep by 2:01 and up this morning at 6 to shower and get ready and have some good old fashioned oatmeal - I hate coming from the bars all sweaty from dancing being too drunk to shower and then waking up sticky and feeling gross.  

I work at 7am on Friday mornings. it's torture. i woke up slightly drunk and still feel like my face and body are warm/pink from the alcohol. my eyelids are puffy and my eyes are bloodshot. if you're reading this, bring me coffee and some aspirin. i'm at the business lab. HELP. SOS.

sorry there were no crazy encounters with rude/racist people to tell you about. i'll work on that for next week. now, time to decide whether or not i want to go to portland for the weekend - i wonder what everyone is going to do...i miss home, but i know i should learn to tolerate eugene...

okay well, i guess i should work/do my hw. until the next time i'm inspired to write, au revoir.

This entry is seriously lacking a good intro, some solid transitions and good organization. I'm working on my businesss writing so please bear w/ me.

my friend and i had altercations with two different groups of people on two different occassions yesterday. it was also our first night out at the bars in eugene and the first time i've ever won something cool in a raffle (albeit ugly, it's still cool i won).

first fight: we are simply walking across the street, a car is coming at us (hello, yield to pedestrians - it's a college town). it looks like they're coming right at me but i continue walking anyway when I hear the people in the car yell something (either sorry or hurry) so I said "did you say sorry, or hurry?!" then this ugly B. (okay, so maybe she would be considered pretty, but only if she wasnt such a rude snatch) in the passenger seat looks at me and sort of does that attitude-y thing w/ her neck n says "HUR-RY". I was like oh no you did not, so I yelled "YOU B*&%!" rather loudly as her and her bf drove off. Man was I mad! I was so mad that after walking a few steps I decided I wanted to go find her, but alas, she had already made it to her sorority hide out and I was unable to kick her in the face. Lydia was proud of me, as I am usually rather timid, but that girl had it coming.

amy and lydia go exploring: sadly, lydia and i are quite the antisocial butterflies in eugene - we're more like accounting butterflies. anyhow, we took our first venture out to the two campus bars/clubs and actually had a decent time - even though most of the usual Thursday night crowd headed over to this country bar place.  We got a pretty good buzz going, consumed 5,000 calories in beverages and cheesy bacon fries dipped in ranch and talked a lotta nonsense. at our second stop, we were entered into a drawing to win a snowboard. lydia let me have her ticket since she already has a board and we felt our chances to be quite good considering there were about 22 people in the entire bar. anyway, after much anticipation, i won! which leads me to our second encounter...

round 2: as we're walking home, snowboard in hand, laughing, being silly and in a very jolly mood, we encounter another situation.  There are a group of people walking on the other side of the street speaking rather loudly.  Lydia hears them say, "F&^%$*# Asians, they win everything!" along with some other stupid stuff - or something to that effect. BUZZ KILL.  We recognize them from the bar and after hearing their comments, Lydia was fuming.  So she says, "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!" and you know...what follows was rather interesting. we start yelling at each other across the street and the girl has the nerve to say, "I'm sorry, I wouldn't want you to do your KUNG FU on me"....EX-KA-USE ME? We then proceeded to tell her that we'd hit her with the snowboard if she didn't shut up. Anyway, Lydia did most of the talking on this one and we got into a debate about stereotypes and how it shouldn't matter that we're Asian and you know, Lydia just gave her a nice piece of her mind - it was my turn to be proud.  Anyway, the girl was just really trashed and she tried to apologize and her friend was saying sorry and all this stuff, but still, NOT OKAY. that's like the second time in a week that people have mocked our culture here. anyway, a very interesting night. The end!