Summer is almost over and I have not done any of the things I set out to do.

It's finally dawned on my that I have to really get serious about finding an apartment in Chicago. Ugh. I hate apartments now. After my experience with my nightmare landlady and ant infestations, I just want to live at home. Now I understand why my mom always yelled at me to clean the house so often BECAUSE..... if you don't you'll have rats and ants crawling everywhere.

I also remember the other day that I have to take my GMAT really soon, which is another standardized pain in the butt. I was a fool to think that the SAT's were the end of my test prepping days. sigh.

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I went to John Mayer's concert on Saturday, which was an awesome experience. I tell ya, anyone that can masterfully play their instrument like john mayer is so inspiration. If only he was a bit less cocky... He does preface every cocky remark with a "I'm not saying this because I'm cocky" but we all know he's just saying that to say it.

note to self: be more optimistic

Do you remember when you were in High School thinking those four years were the paramount of your life? Like every decision was life-altering or you couldn't get any more mature than you were at that moment. Yea, I remember believing that. Too bad reality hit me hard in the face my first year in college. It gets me to thinking though, am I gonna look back 5 years down the road and think the same thing about my college years? Or did I pass the invisible threshold of adulthood where now the decisions really are life-altering and my maturity is plateau-ing?

When are we old enough to make decisions that aren't childs-play but respectable life decisions?

Everyone I talk to seems to know the answer to life questions, and they always have good reasons to back their answers up. But quite frankly, it's come to the point where I've been disillusioned in people's confident answer to life. What really makes them so much more wiser than the last person that had a differing opinion? There was a sermon I heard a few years back that I remember to this day (not many of those). Well, actually, I just remember a sentence from the sermon. My pastor said, "Anyone can give you advice, but only God can give you the answer." Still remember it to this day. I should write it big in my room somewhere, like a life motto or something. Anyways, something I've realized is that no two people will live their lives the same way. They'll like different foods, like different music, have different parents, have different personalities, have different jobs, have different annoying flaws, have different love lives, but in the end, they'll both be happy if they seek guidance from God. Life is the farthest thing from a formula. That's why I think artists and musicians capture the essence of life the best. So why do we pretend that we know?

Maybe I'll look back a few years later and realize how retarded I am for writing this (more like tomorrow morning), but I can't live life afraid of what I'm not. I'd rather look idiotic now than live life knowing I lived it half-assed.

So for now, I am old enough.