Friday, February 01, 2008

  • Kween of the Queens entry: What are your personal laws and boundaries?


    Kween of the Queens entry: Find more like it here!

    What are your personal laws and boundaries? What will you absolutely NOT do? What are some of the things that you do on a constant basis to help make our society a decent place to live, love and thrive?

    Here is my main one:
    This one sets me apart, and for most (younger) people reading, they will think I'm totally a prude and a snob. But I don't care. Even though I've maintained this belief my whole life, I made a promise at the age of 14 to God and my parents that I would never have sex of any kind before or outside of marriage. I know this seems totally backwards in our world today, but I have very important reasons for doing it!

    1. I believe my body is valuable. It is valuable to me. It is valuable to God. I want to give my body totally to only one man: my husband. I want him to feel like he possesses my love completely by the giving of myself to him in body. I don't want him to have to share, or know that someone else has enjoyed what he has. I want myself to be completely his.

    2. I believe God commands us to keep the marriage bed pure. I'm not a "fundy", but I do believe that this is very important to God and his church.

    3. I actually enjoy the shocked look people give me when they find out I'm a 26 year old virgin, and I wasn't homeschooled or brought up in a convent or anything. I've actually dated...a lot.

    4. I can think of nothing more breathtakingly romantic than to give away my virginity on my wedding night.

    5. Sex with multiple partners is messy. Both physically and emotionally. I don't want to worry about STDs, pregnancy, or the heartbreak that is intensified by physicality.

    So there you have it. I know I'm not going to be popular because of my beliefs. But something about that appeals to me...I do this because I believe it's right, not because of what people will think. This boundary was essential to my teenage behaviour, and into my 20s has been increasingly so. Let's just hope it's not something I'll have to worry about too much longer...


    Here are some other ones that are also important:
    1.  I will NOT get drunk, nor have I ever.  I do drink but I stop at 1 or 2.
    2.  I will NOT ever smoke, nor have I ever.  I am a professional singer and voice teacher.  End of discussion.
    3.  I will NOT do illegal drugs.  This just always seemed dumb.
    4.  I will NOT give in to being "P.C.".  I call a spade, a spade.
    5.  I will NOT become Postmodern in my thought.  I believe in right and wrong, and I believe Christianity is the only way to Heaven.  I know that's not cool right now.  Oh well. 

    Ok that's all for now.  Let the bashing commence...lol.  No really, I know you probably don't agree with me.  But these things make me who I am.

Comments (37)

  • BB61

    You should be proud of sticking to your beliefs.
  • AimeeAnne

    Wow, I agree with you on each of those points wholeheartedly.    And I know many women who do, as well.  So you're definitely not alone. 

    But I know what you mean by shocked looks.  I also happen to be saving my first kiss for my wedding day... and that is NOT a popular thought.  Especially if you consider that most of the 13/14/15 year olds I know have already been kissing for a very long time.
  • alysavalessa

    you really should be proud of sticking to your beliefs.... there are so many out there who set out to do the same thing you're doing, and fail... stay strong! oh, and i hope you have a great weekend, you non-pot-smoking, Christian, calls it like she sees it, wonderful woman

    <3 alysa

    ps~ i think Christianity is cool... i hope that didn't sound rude! i think those are all great attributes, and it's nice to see someone who is strong in her faith... i'm working on mine right now.... it's seen better days i'm afraid....
  • Kween_of_the_Queens

    MiLady,

    I bow to your decision to remain pure for your husband. . . I wish more young people would!  I believe that not only is it an affront to God, but that so many of our youth have no concept of what real love is outside of sex. . . in other words, learn to love the person first, then learn to love being physically intimate with them.  They don't respect each other at all and I find that terribly sad!  I'm glad you have taken this path, for you will never know another way to be and therefore will not have to think about how wonderful so and so was in bed, even though it didn't work out.  No comparisons will ever be made in your mind between your husband and someone else!  He should really love that!  I don't disagree with any point you've made. . .keep that boundry, and be proud of being strong enough to stand up to this lost generations scrutiny!  You've been linked and starred!~Kween
  • Lmoisan

    Wow!  I think it is great that you have been so dedicated in your decision.  Your marriage will be blessed!  From your writing I believe you to be a strong, virtuous and faithful woman of God.  Great Post!
  • UrbanOphelia

    AMEN, SISTER!!! I agree whole-heartedly with you on all of these points. People are shocked when they hear that I am a 21-year-old virgin, but I say I value my body and am not going to just give it away. Props to you for sticking to your beliefs.
  • laughing_dreamer
    You're awesome!

    I totally agree with you on all levels...the greatest gift you can give to your husband is your virginity!

  • UPGirls

    You rock! No bashing here.
  • ThePhilsBlogBar

    It great to read you are sticking with your beliefs
  • kirby1960

    Good for you!   You can be very proud of yourself!
  • incognitojo

    That is wonderful! As someone who followed that until I was married, let me tell you it's worth it.

    And hold onto that no drunk policy. Being a part of the military makes that ridiculously hard.

    Anyway, good for you to have solid beliefs no matter what.
  • emlee57

    You go girl! There are so many rewards to waiting for the right man! I pray he is waiting also- what a blessing that will be for the two of you. By sticking to you principles you shine here and eternally. I am very proud of you! What an encouagement you are to others inc. me. hugs, emlee
  • TheAmulet

    Nice to know others hold the same guidelines as I do!
  • TheAmulet

    P.S.  I'm also a singer.  What's your favorite type of music to teach and sing?  I like showtunes the best I think.
  • yello_lego

    While I don't share some of your beliefs, I commend you nonetheless for your commitment.
  • Zeal4living

    Remain true to yourself and others will also respect you for who you are.
  • stephielouwho

    I agree up until "Christianity is the only way to Heaven."  I believe differently, although I am Christian.  At any rate, I live my life much like yours.  I have a boyfriend of 2 years and it's important to us to not have sex until we wed.  I don't smoke either and have never done drugs.  GO US!!!
  • ChristianFictionQueen

    Girl, you rock. As some of the above commenters mentioned, nice to know there's other people out there who believe as I do.

  • PeaceFul_Warrior2560

    Your convictions are yours and Gods, they serve you and declare who you are to the world, never feel you need to apologize for them or be seen as prudish. I Believe its very Honorable thing to do in this difficult time, but always be true to your own Feelings they keep you close to God.

    Blessings;
      Jesse

  • Ms_BeautyExpert

    I could not have read a more beautiful and honest post for this challenge it is un resistably so that I agree with everyone that commented to this...

    GO HEAD GIRL!!, AMEN SISTA!!, BE PROUD AND KEEP ON KEEPING ON!!!!! GO HEAD WITH YA BAD SELF!!! YOU ROCK!!!!, YOUR BEAUTIFULLY AMAZING!!!!

    I agree too that lots of women everywhere agreee with everything you have mentioned!!! Kudos to you though for being strong and sticking to it!!!

    I did set out to be the very same way but unfortately I lost my puritty in a date rape situation it was beyond my control.... I regret it ever happend and it made me feel terriable!!! But I went through this thing where I was abstanant for almost 6 years... when I gave my life  back to God after going through some rough stuff... I feel like during that time God restored the feeling of being pure and gave it back to be and cleansed me!!! I feel like it was only by his grace through the active sex life prior to making a decsion to be sex free for a good while.. that He saved me and kept me through all that!!!

    GREAT FOR YOU I AGREE WITH KWEEN MORE YOUNG PPL NEED TO TAKE A STAND LIKE YOU HAVE!!!

    GO YOU!

    Hugs and Love from a visiting queen~ Leslie (Ms_BeautyExpert)
  • heidicindy

    I commend your strength in these area, I know that it's not easy to do!  I love it that you know what is best for you and stick to it. You are a great example! 

  • getreal64

    Good list. I may not agree with all of them, but I think your commitments are excellent.  (my husband was a 26 year old virgin, too) 

  • closethippie

    Admirable rules and regulations.  I like the way you stick to your own values without preaching about it.  The 'strong and silent" decisions that you can stand by without compromise. Good for you.
  • zebrabear1

    I am so very proud of you.  You are earning more respect and love from me each day.  I was a twenty year old virgin when I got married and I know how hard it is.  My ex and I were together for three years before we married and sometimes human nature made it very hard to resist losing my virginity.  I can say that is one thing my ex was good about and that was respecting my decision to wait to have sex until we were married.  Your great!
  • arminus9

    I concur, never back off from your beliefs but always have the wisdom to see the truth in what other's believe.

    `elliott

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