| | I think I have a problem with reality. I mean I've been having these internal dramas going on that go back to a day that doesn't even exist anymore. I mean it is in the past. So what if it doesn't even matter and the entire sequence of events has evolved into something no one would recognize anymore...
I mean why beleive a psychic when they're talking to dead people... their still people and they are still capable of telling the truth OR lying. I mean yes some advice is needed sometimes... people go to psychics, therapists, friends and parents for advice... depending on the situation. Some even go to strangers and enemies... and yet I deside to get fixated on a conversation that happened years ago. Actually more than just that conversation many conversations... and my brain probably has a tumor in it that makes all this stuff pop up every once in a while.
And sometimes we just get stuck... in one spot and never grow up.
Sometimes we conform just because we don't have anything else to do. And sometimes other people make our decisions because that's what they've always done. And we let them take that control.
So I've been arguing with my parents mostly my dad about selling my car now. The conversations actually been going on for more than a little while. Just getting heated at the days go by. I'm just really tired of struggling with the argument. I do not argue well.
The truth in my arugment I could never tell because they really wouldn't understand me telling them I can't sell my car because a psychic I met in New Orleans right before Hurricane Katrina hit told me not to sell my car. As well as a few other sound advices that I did not take! It's the last peice of advice I was given.
I also have some other back up support sentences I could throw in that I also can't tell my dad because it just shows a great deal of vulnerability.
I love you and if something happens to you I will not have any expendable cash to maybe help momma out with house paymens and we'll be thrown out onto the street.
Plus the argument where I get to say my job sucks and I don't want to be forced to work like a slave just because I need a new car.
I've also desided I'm going to start doing more protected posts. My dreams will stay unprotected. More personal stuff with be hidden from the majority of my readers... mainly because every time I get premium i end up leaving my xanga site for another one.
I forgot all the other stuff I was worried about. But there's really no way I can get any money together. I can maybe scrape up 80 dollars a paycheck to save at most for a car. My car obviously not being worth 2000 to my dad is worth more than that whenever someone tries to take it away from me. I don't know why now I love my car other than the fact that when someone wants to take something from me I tend to hold on more tightly.
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| | Posted 2/23/2008 9:48 PM - 19 views
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