The last line of your post kind of reminded me of that book "I Am the Cheese." It was such a strange book, and I still remember the last two lines (forgive me if they're not textbook perfect):

"I am what I always was and will be.
I am the cheese."

Very strange, but a good read.

@Mystic_Xingjing - 

I can relate to a lot of this.  There are days that I look around at my life and think, "Really?  This is it?"  And then other days, I'm perfectly content.  I think it's partly because we long for something more, something different.  But maybe I'm just projecting. *smile*

As for people not caring...I've run into that a lot, and it can be frustrating.  Especially when people who are supposed to be your friends turn out to be anything but.  Ya know?

Hang in there...