I find myself asking a very common question, "How long, God?"

This question is asked lots of times in the Bible. David asked it a lot; Jeremiah asked it; and even the "angel of the Lord" asked it in Zechariah. One of my favorites is Psalm 13.

Similarly, I wonder how many more times will I be pushed to the limit. Will there be a time of rest any time soon?

I know this must seem trivial to some. They probably wonder what the big deal is and why I don't just stop whining. But, I find myself way beyond the lines that used to define my life. I'm going a way I've never been before. I am dealing with things and facing possible outcomes that I've not dealth with before. I'm stretched and I hope I won't break.

I am so looking forward to Thanksgiving. The store will be closed. The first day in a long time I will have totally off.

So much of this is not about stuff or money or things like that. Sure, they are involved, but they aren't the real issues. Its more about relationships. My relationships with those I do business with - lendors, vendors, etc.; with my employees; with my customers; with friends and acquaintences; with my family; and with God.

I want to be a man of integrity. I want to trust God and prove him in my life. I want to be able to show God to the world and help them better understand him and how to live for him. I want to better understand him myself and get a better grasp on how to do with my life what he intends for me to do.

Right now I am straining to get through what I find myself in. The strain is at times very great. I know I'm making mistakes, but I'm also learning. I ask God, "how long?" I don't really expect an answer; I just hope that I will continue to endure, that I won't snap, and that soon I can look back at this and say, "see how good God is?"