Thursday, June 03, 2004

  • Update: Bane, I should send you every copy before I post it. Of course, I wouldn't be able to pay you....

    Things I've seen...

    I

    t is no secret that I'm pretty much an old geezer here on Xanga... "Seriously, what am I doing here?" as Onigiriman says on top... To put things in perspective, I thought I'd tell you about some of the things I've seen over the years, and how they affected me.

    In the Fall of 1962, I was a six-going-on-seven-years old, attending an all Japanese-American Catholic missionary school. I was not the brightest in my class, nor was I the worst. However, Sister MJ thought I was rather talented in art, which gave me a lot of confidence and made me happy. As a result, I would happily go to the classroom in the morning before first bell and help her get the class ready for the day--I was such a suck-up. My mother would have told you that I never volunteered at home to do anything, but at school, I was, oh, so the eager beaver. One day, November 22, I went extra early and decided to help her clean the blackboard. She told me to erase the board then gave me a towel to dampen to wipe it off spotlessly. I took the towel to the drinkng fountain outside the class room, soaked it up good, then went back to the room dripping water as I went. I sloshed the board with the towel and began wiping, when Sister MJ noticed that the floor in the front of the classroom was dangerously slippery.

    "What on earth..." She whirled around and saw me standing there with a drenched towel dripping water on my feet and the floor. She grabbed the towel and pointed to the door. "Go outside."

    I was crushed. No, no, I didn't have a crush on her, but I was fond of this teacher who had praised my artistic talent--of which, of course, I have none. Feeling sorry for myself, I dragged myself into line for second bell, and we filed into our second floor classroom at 9 AM. About an hour later, the principal Sister St. M. came to the door and called for Sister MJ and whipsered something to her. Sister returned and told us to be quiet. She had an announcement.

    "Someone shot President Kennedy, and he's in the hospital. Let us pray that he wil recover."

    As second graders, we were pretty oblivious to politics, but John F. Kennedy was perhaps the first president to really get a lot of attention in the growing media of television. So while I would not have recognized any president before him, I did know Kennedy, as did the rest of the class.

    "Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee..."

    After praying, we went back to studying. As Sister MJ wrote new vocabulary words on the board, but I paid no attention. Why did she have to chase me out of the room? I was only trying to help, I thought as I continued to sulk. A half hour later, Sister St. M. appeared again with graver news. This time she told us directly.

    "The president has died. Let us pray. Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name..."

    Our president had died. No, our president had been murdered. But self-absorbed, all I could do was continue to sulk. The closest I got to feeling any sympathy was the thought that this kind of stuff only happened on TV and movies. A few days later, during the funeral procession, I saw John Jr. saluting his father as his casket rode by him. He was so young and the adults around me wondered if he really grasped the gravity of the moment. But I was pretty sure he knew, because he was only a few years younger than me. I know, so he must know, too. And at that moment, I felt so pathetic. I was feeling so sorry for myself for being scolded by my teacher a few days back, that I realized that I'm the one who did not understand the gravity of the death, I didn't grasp its magnitude.

    To this day, I cringe inside everytime I see the image of John Jr. saluting his father.

Comments (28)

  • detachable
    you were only a kid. just a kid. please don't keep kicking yourself in the head about that incident. you were only a kid.
  • Cboy918
        One of the most tragic events in American history, but I have to agree with detach.....don't be so hard on yourself.  Btw, OB is in Rockville near Regal Theatres.  Cya
  • silvermyst_ashke
    *agrees with detachable*
  • SweetLilV
    agreed with the above.  children aren't expected to fully understand those kinds of situations, especially at such a young age.
  • mfa671

    I agree too, but understanding has very little to do with how an event affects a child.  This whole entry is a perfect example of that.  Yet, because of that event, and probably numerous others, you learned to be selfless and grew to be a compassionate man.  

  • ekin
    Wow, such a deep memory. I have similiar types of memories where I was being extremely petty when really I had no right to be. Ah... the naivety of being a child. Too bad that era for me is over.
  • gyjcwang

    Reminds me of the time when my grandmother died.  My little cousin was only about 2 or 3 and he cried the hardest.  My mother thought it was funny because he didn't really know my grandmother nor did he really comprehend why he was sad for.

    Maybe he just knows it's a sad situation that's all.

    Special someone?  If friends count then yeah, it's special people.

  • scslider
    i agree with detachable.  i don't think i have many memories from when i was really young ...
  • MisterDog

    That's quite a memory.  It's interesting how such a historic event becomes the backdrop for a moment of self-discovery/realization.  It's personal touches like that, that makes your stories so interesting.

    Thanks for the travel advice too.  I had forgotten about Sequoia.  

  • nefarious_hatter
    speaking of grim deaths. Did you read about that murder in japan?

    http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/20040603/wr_nm/crime_japan_schoolgirl_dc
  • blu_jazz
    Wow, what a historic thing to see.  That's wild that it still has such a profound effect on you...
  • BarbEric_Bojo
    mm wow, you have a good memory.  even though it was a big moment in history, id probbly forget! ahh poor kid
  • Fongster8

    That's a very good idea. The only problem is that alot of them don't even read the rules so I don't know if they will read it even if I wrote it!

    And the other thing is that with nearly 100 nominees, alot of them won't know how to provide the link and I don't have time to provide assistance. Maybe when the final draws near, I can execute your idea as there will only be ten remaining.  

  • bane_vixen

    i cracked up at your spelling of the 11th month.  it's "November," not that weird concoction you have up there.  haha.  not the worst nor the best, indeed....

    eh, six years old.  kids tend to be self-absorbed at that age.  at least you're not a 45-year-old kid....  or are you?

  • kizyr

    I think kids--especially younger ones (like 2-5 years old) understand way more than we give them credit for. My host nephew (18 months old) was waving goodbye to me when I left my host family with this really sad "I don't know when I'll see you again" look in his eyes. That was just me leaving.

    I believe children can still understand the gravity of death on one level. Just, as children, their minds are more active and usually have plenty of things floating around. So I'd figure that while you did understand that JFK's death was significant (given by the fact that you still remember that day and the announcement) at the same time you were sulking over your heart being crushed by the art teacher. KF

  • StrawberriesNCream311

    Wow. I agree with Detachable, you shouldn't beat yourself up over it. No one would've held it against you, you were just a little kid. I bet your teacher would've felt bad if she'd known though.

     

    In a way it's good that you still have memories like that. And that you feel bad about it now, whereas you didn't feel bad for anyone but yourself as a kid. It shows that you've matured and grown up. Congrats! You're not a kid anymore!

  • ChiisanaHoshi

    There's many things I regret from when I was younger, but what I realized is that I didn't understand what they meant at the time. So, as detachable said, don't keep beating yourself up over it.

    My mom's co-worker, Karen, passed away, and I had gone to the hospital the last night she was alive. I kept hoping she's be alright and I was holding up well until her 12 year old son walks out and hugs me. I still remember the image vividly, of him walking to me in a yellow shirt and hugging me. And he said 'Thank you for coming.' I just lost it there. All I could think that even was Why does he have to deal with this? He's just a little boy, he shouldn't have to act so grown up. Just a little boy who wants his mom. That will stay with me forever.

  • ddsb2000
    You were just a little kid and you didnt know better. I often cringe at some of the selfish things I have done in the past.
  • pallyatheart
    Who cannot relate to that story.  We all have regrets of those times that we were spoiled and acted selfishly.  Everyone else tells you to let those memories and feelings go, but I say hold on to them loosely.  My regrets over those memories help me to never ever commit those same selfish acts again.
  • randomcarbon
    Clearly you went to a Catholic school, if the guilt of being a precocious second grader haunts you even today. Still, I know what you mean. I don't think I've ever understood the full gravity of death; the best I can do when faced with it is somehow scuffle my feet, offer condolences, and hope the conversation can move to other topics, and quick. I think my reaction and discomfort is worse than most, and that bothers me, compounding the awkwardness even further.
  • takunishi79

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  • ekin
    ˆÈã‚Ì“ú–{Œê‚̃Rƒƒ“ƒg‚ÍŒ‹\“Ë‘R‚Å‚²‚´‚¢‚Ü‚·B‚Å‚µ‚åH‚Å‚µ‚傤`H
  • detachable
    yes, that spells bankside, down by the river thames. tis a lovely place to walk when you feel a need for some hermit time.
  • inVOGUE
    but you were so young!! how could you have grasped its magnitude? look at me, I couldn't even grasp the reality of the sept. 11 attack. it sounded so like a story. i didn't feel anything at all that day.
  • Andine

    Ow~ Don't feel bad. *Pats Onigiriman* There would be something wrong if you were thinking like an adult to grasp the gravity of the situation back then, you were only about 7. Don't be too hard on yourself.

    You look so cute when you are small. :D

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