Thursday, March 16, 2006
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Stalkers
Having watched Densha Otoko (Train Man), I've begun to wonder what I'm doing in this virtual world. For those who are relatively young--say 22 and younger--the Internet is probably something that is taken for granted. I don't mean that you can access it anytime, but that it's been a part of our society for at least half of your lives. For me, however, it is still brand spanking new, and many of my peers look at it with suspicious eyes.
As you might know--spoiler warning!--Train Man is about an Otaku, the Japanese version of a nerd, who tries to protect a beautiful woman from being harassed by a drunk on the way home. She appreciates his acts and he is flattered by the attention she gives him. He immediately logs in on his computer and describes his encounter on a keijiban (bulletin board). Since the incident happens on a train, he becomes known as the Train Man. The story develops as the lovely woman sends him a gift of thanks (a set of cups by Hermes), he calls her, they meet for dinner, he fusses over what to wear and how to act, all the while discussing his situation and getting advice on how to proceed from others posting on the bulletin board. The story can be ludicrous at times, but it is touching and certainly funny as the Nerd finally has his day.
Now as I was watching this with M, she provided a running commentary on the embarrassment and betrayal of the hero who is exposing not only his life, but Hermes life as well, without her knowledge. And of course, she expresses doubt as to what I write here on Xanga. M is old school, older than me. She knows a lot of different things, but she doesn't know the difference between an e-mail and an instant message and a weblog. As you might imagine, she takes a narrow view of things she does not understand--as most of us do--and so worries about the things I post here on my blog. I assure her that I never write anything untoward about her--well, maybe I am now--and I would not write anything embarrassing about her. The blog is about me, and if I'm gonna make fun of anyone, it would be me--and maybe a couple of my students, and an occasional political figure or two.
Any amount of explaining I offer usually sounds like excuses to her, so there is little I can do. I am loathe to do anything that might upset M....
Still, I find blogs much more easier to deal with than bulleting boards and chat rooms. Those places can be totally anonymous. But on Xanga, where only fellow Xangans can comment, I feel more at ease. I may not know your real name, but I get a concrete picture of who you are from your sites. I know that Sammy loves the Cubs. Pajun plays the piano and entered a competition in Rome. I know that No1Watching gives massages and Jerjonji is a great writer who moved halfway across the country. I have gotten to know fellw Bruins such as Marie and others, while I have decided to turn down the rhetoric concerning that other school because of zhuzhu, dan, momo and others. I know that Booyaman hates cats and that Daddylike and enygma go to grad school, and Bareric is studying abroad this year. Hanzo hates the current administration while mmh is learning to deal with her sister. I even saw Jason on the West Wing when he played a Chinese soldier. And I'd like to go have a drink with Paiky--and maybe his cousin kken--in a place I've never been to called Orange. There are many more but too long of a list to mention here. The point is that we all tell each other about ourselves and in that way we get to know each other as blogging colleagues and--dare I say--friends. So it bothers me that I can't convey this fully to M, but I will continue to try to convince her that you guys are not total strangers.
A key way of getting to know you even better, of course, is though commenting. I have been remiss of late--I just don't have the time I once had. but I have done so enough to have developed a kind of rapport with some of you. I am sometimes saddened that I have subscribers who apparently read but rarely, if ever, comment at all. Through comments, a dialogue can develop, although I may not always keep up my side of the bargain. But at least I can visit your sites and know that you are real people with real lives. But there are a few who have me a little scared...
Stalkers... There is a program that allows Xangans to track other Xangans which are referred to as "Xanga stalkers". But this is a misnomer because you know who is stalking you. It's the anonymous visitors that I wonder about. But then the worst are the subscribers who don't even post, let alone not comment. What's that all about?!? I have four subscribers who do not post--they only have an account--and they subscribe to only one person... me. Now THIS is stalking.... Is one my ex-wife? Are they my former students? Are they my colleagues at work? This is probably the worst case scenario. Can you imagine a professor stalking another professor? For what? To gather dirt? To see if I'm talking shit about anyone at school? Ha! I would never do that here. I have another super secret site for that.
JUST KIDDING! Anyway, these are the people who don't post but only read. On there site, they display only one subscription, me. They also receive a digest through e-mail... I wonder who these people are? It kinda makes me nervous...
http://www.xanga.com/rainrowan
http://www.xanga.com/TheGooberBoy
Still, these are the exceptions, not the rule, here on Xanga. And I've got to figure a way to convince M that this is a good place...
Do any of you have subscribers like this?
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Comments (28)
Have I made the top 10?
There are some people who post strictly by protected and only allow certain people to look at them...or none at all.
I really don't think you have anything embarassing to hide here anyway, so don't get self conscious.
I've had a couple of those people, although they did subscribe to one or two sites as well as mine. Still, it's very creepy! When it happens, I just post a message on their site asking them to let me know who they are (a Xanga friend with a new blog, someone from "real life" that knows me, etc.). If I don't get any sort of reply I block them.
*returning to lurk mode*
*HUG*
It actually gets even crazier if you start using a Xanga tracker like "http://www.xtracker.us". It keeps logs and will show you who visited your site, and where they came from. It's interesting but slightly creepy in a way like "who's this anonymous person who keeps visiting me from the Albert Einstein College of Medicine on a daily basis?"
Still, I am thankful for Xanga for helping me to keep up with a lot of people I might not have as well as introducing me to a wide array of fascinating people from around the globe.
when someone subscribes to my page that doesn't post anything on theirs, i automatically unsubscribe them.
i've noticed two or three other girls who come by my page through my blogring daily. they don't seem shady or anything so i just let it go that they don't like to comment.
as for the people that i find to be shady, i have a code on my page that i can add names to and will automatically kick those people off xanga if they try to get to my page.
mostly i subscribe, but do not regularly read...i don't know how others find the time...i still prefer hard-copy things for my free-time...u know a real newpaper u can write on, magazines and coffee at the bookstore...and then other times, peoples posts entertain but to not inspire comment. and yes, i have a subscriber who doesn't post...but she's my sis and had to join to read my page
oh stalkers. um do you mean readers? winks. actually there is one on my site that bothers me and its a .gov site. maybe IRS or something to be exact. this year i'm not going to post anything relating to income tax, to be safe. another winks.
at least your xanga stalkers can't follow you home and take photos of you... *shudder*
this is actually my biggest fear about returning to japan. i tend to collect stalkers anyway...
I just checked my subscriber's list since you've brought this up to my attention and I have TWELVE PEOPLE who are subscribing to me and I have no idea who they are!
This is ... very scary. D:
There's no way to get rid of subscribers other than to block them, right? What I really wonder is who are these people and how did they find me? I don't worry about livejournal because in livejournal you can chose who reads your entries and who doesn't, not to mention I think it's a bit more secure, but xanga doesn't have some of these features.
Ahh, let's hope your four stalkers are only "xanga stalkers" and nothing else.
I get weary of stalkers on Xanga too, so I try not to reveal too much personal information. After all, anybody could be reading your blog, not necessarily just Xanga users.
Haha... ya, I have a couple of those too-- who just subscribe and have an account but they don't post.
i agree with you ~ stalkers freak me out too but i'm trying to rationalize the situation :D like you said, it's a relief when people comment - lets everyone know that there's a real person there behind a moniker.
i got myself a tracker eversince i got some nasty comments in my guestbook. i don't worry about them too much anymore. i just don't post anything too personal to keep them at bay.
btw, i read my subscriptions even if i don't comment a lot.
Sorry for freaking you out a bit! Hope this puts you at ease.
omg! I almost missed your entry.
I confess I am one of your "stalkers". I subscribe to your digest and try to read it once a week. I am not stalking -- I feel curiously like some lunatic now... argh!
Well, vaguely remember doing a search on asian american culture from another asian american website and onigiriman's site was at the top of highest rated blogs... I would have to back track a bit to find exactly what I was researching (that's just how I surf the net - a simple search turns into dozens if not hundreds of URL tangents).
Since we're roughly in the same age bracket, thought I'd subscribe... not too many peers are into the Internet, most are frightened of it. Before I go down in the history of your site as a serial nut case... here's a little info about rainrowan. NYU graduate, english major, minor (kinda) in art history and political science. Spent 13 years in scientific publishing. These days I'm a seriously culture-deprived parent of two little rascals... So who knows maybe I get my kicks reading about onigiriman's exciting life! hee hee
I must have signed up at several blog sites but never got it off the ground, tho I used to be an avid journaler in my college days. You can find out more at my former site created in 1995 (!) It really needs updating -- but that's me in a nutshell!
http://rkish.tripod.com/
now let's hope *I* don't get stalked !!!! (just kidding. I hope.)
It's pretty rare that I even get subscribers, but I do have a couple who posted something like "hi" as their own post. And many, many comments from people who tracked them on ther xanga anti-stalker system, I guess? I don't know what they are up to, that is why I usually protect very personal posts, like you do. Except that your allow list is probably HUGE.
Well fine, so I'll start commenting on your posts. I've been reading your xanga for quite some time, but I assure you I also have a life! hehe whereas my days are not quite as interesting as yours (or that my writing abilities really fall short), I still do post almost everday and my xanga is open to any stalkers, friends, enemies... everyone can get a fair look in my life through xanga ^^