Tuesday, May 25, 2004
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Identity: Self-image
First an announcement: I think that Xanga now allows 8 blogrings instead of 4. Well, Zettonv has started a blogring for the man who was my favorite read. If you have the time, room and inclination, join SAMMY STORM ROCKS!. There's also one for me started by simply_marie, that crazy girl...
Xanga names
Most of us have names that were given to us without any consultation at all--duh. And we have lived with this as our signifier. My name is that of a Danish King and was the name of the priest that married my parents: Leopold. Okay, don't laugh too hard. You can imagine what I had to go through as a kid. Back in the 60s and 70s, all my classmates had names like David, Steven, Mike, Dennis, Paul. Were these guys my friends? Not really. With a name like Leopold, I was teased and mocked. Do you think its a coincidence that I had friends named Meldon, Kim and Robin--yes these were all males.
So when people tell me that you have to be yourself, I know for a fact that in many ways, I became who others made me to be. So identity and self are in large part a construct of different influences brought about by the society in which we find ourselves, as many commented in yesterdays post. I was really moved by some of the comments.
Now it strikes me that with the Internet in general and Xanga in particular, we all have the opportunity to come up with a name that we ourselves believe to be a reflection of our true selves--or at least what we wanna be. I have a few readers who have the most interesting handles. I remember thinking that No1watching was the name of a Chinese chick who thought she was pretty hot stuff--#1 is watching you--but I found out later that it was just the opposite: "No one is watching." Oh, how embarrassing for me! Sekura81 is supposed to mean Cherry blossom (jp. sakura) but I'm not sure how the misspelling came about. Maybe I missed it in her explanation, and I'm just to lazy to go back and search for it. gokingsgo is Vlade's blog, so it makes sense he would be rooting for the team he's on. Zettonv is the name of some evil character in a Japanese action series... I think. And ddsb2000 wrote about his name once, and it was about being at the beach and seeing or doing something "dirty" which is one of the Ds in ddsb... but I forget what the rest was exactly... Geez, I claim to read everyone's blog, which I do, honest. but I dont' remember a damn thing! Sorry guys.
Some other names, I just guess: Detachable? Perhaps she detached herself from the Lion Island and moved herself over to London. Bane_Vixen? A vixen who is the bane of all those around her? Hattori_Hanzo? Isn't he a legendary ninja? Why use that handle? Maybe he's slick and fast... blu_jazz? A chick who likes blues and jazz, or bluesy jazz, or she's just blue and jazzy? Hehehehe. Asnhoopla? Wait, an Asian around whom there is a lot of hoopla, right? wildkat03? Don't wanna guess if she's lusting after a teacher... hehehehehe. Iluvpajun? Is pajun something to eat? hahahah! Other names leave me in the dust. I can't guess the likes of silvermyst_ashke or Hydralisk96 or imahima (which sorta means "I'm bored now" but this young girl I know is always so energetic)...
Someone once asked me: Why Onigiriman? For those of you unfamiliar with Japanese cuisine, Onigiri means "riceball", a ball of rice usually with somthing in the middle, taken on outings or to work for lunch because it's easy to carry around; sorta the J version of a sandwich. My response: Once--and maybe even now--I was a little overweight. Once, I had dubbed a tape for a friend, but instead of putting my name on it, I decided to draw a caricature of myself and came up with Onigiriman: I saw myself as a pudgy trianglular blob of rice wrapped in seaweed. The sunglasses are for my bad eyes. the ponytail for my long hippie hair, and the lack of arms and legs are indicative of my lazy, unmoving, unmotivated, procrastinating self... But I'm delicious to eat. Mmmmm. Anyone wanna take a bite? Okay, okay, too gross. hehehehe...
Oh yeah, not to be anal, but please refer to me only as Onigiriman. I don't need a "sensei" or "-san", unless you really want to. Hehehehhe. But I do insist on the suffix "-man". Not that I want to be gender specific, but because there is another Xangan called Onigiri--I wonder what's her story? Is she a rice ball too? Come to think of it, maybe we should start a rice ball blogring.
Anyway, that's my story. What's yours?
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Comments (37)
When I was in middle school I really liked the Wallace and Gromit claymation movies. Gromit is the dog that reads books and has all kinds of other human-like abilities in those movies. So I used the name Gromit for awhile on the internet, and later shortened it.
Also, I think the Hydralisk96 name probably comes from the computer game Starcraft. You are lucky you don't know that.
I only know what an Onigiri is because of an anime. Hmm, I can't spell and sekura is how it sounded in my head. English is NOT my first language. My real name is Sambat, and yes, I heard all the teasing in school too. Sambat is a traditional Cambodian guys name. I wish you could hear the way my dad says it, a less harsh lilt that makes me smile. It means money, wealth, land, things you wanna leave your kids. Ex. When I die, I wanna leave lots of SAMBAT to you. Wow, that was hard translating it in my head to English. I was supposed to be a boy, but ended up a girl. Though it's supposed to be a guys name (since they are more valued :P) , my Dad really wanted a girl, so since he values me so much, hence the name, and also it's a play on both my aunts names that passed away. WOW, that is a LOT of symbolism. I go by Sam bc a teacher couldn't pronounce it and it's easier. I find it funny that my real name and nickname are both boys name. :)
pajun... it's sort of like the korean version of okonomiyaki. except... without cabbage. but it's like a pancake type thing with veggies, kimchi or seafood. it's really yummy. try ordering some when you go to a korean resturant ^^
Actually you know, I've been wondering... how do you correctly pronounce "cicada." (It's all your fault that I keep thinking about them) is it pronounced Žd•û or ¶ŒX‚¾BHmmm... maybe I should just consult a dictionary. But then I'm too lazy to get the dictionary out ‘Ó‚¯ŽÒ‚¾‚©‚ç
mmmm...Onigiris...maybe I'll have one right now..
But anyways, My name is a conglomerates of my favorite video game characters. Yes, I live a fantasy life.
At least it's better than a rea one...i suppose.
dang, that was a long one.
mwahahahaha. your full name is Leopold? i don't know why i didn't make the connection to "Leo." i guess i just took it for one of those random names that pop up every once in a while in the States like Marvin, yoga boy's name who's korean.
i don't know why i chose my xanga name. those two words, "bane" and "vixen" read in a single breath makes it sound like i was trying to be the bane of existence for all so-called vixens. i was going more for their meanings when taken separately. i thought of bane, the poison, not the whole bane of all mankind and destruction of virtues deal; and vixen, well, can mean one of two things. 1) a female fox, or 2) a woman who is malicious and shrewd. in a way, those two definitions coincide because when you think of a fox you think sly, cunning, clever, much like human characteristics the term is delegated when describing a woman. you've mentioned a few times you find my writing witty and sharp, though a bit caustic, and i guess my name is appropriate for such a setting, even if one didn't think about the connotations behind the name.
i don't know what my true intentions are behind the name. i guess it was just to say i'm not a big fan of girlie girls who write about their boyfriends and paste tacky hearts in different shades of red all over their xanga as they spout sappy poetry and play cheesy pop songs in their background with pics of their men splattered at an ungodly size. another reason could have been a warning: you touch me and i'll kill you. haha. my, what a pleasant person i am
in Kill Bill, Hattori Hanzo was the name of the guy who made the best samurai swords (are they called katanas?)
How about...the O-miester? 0-inator? O-arama? O-licious?
Does anyone else remember that old SNL skit, or is my reference just totally outdated? Sigh.
I try to find logic in everything; I couldn't simply state that I had hate towards my father, I had to find a reason why. Well, in that case, maybe I was just being a cold hearted bitch. In any case, I can understand what you mean about e-mail not being enough to stay in touch. A few years ago a good friend of mine moved across the country, and sadly, we barely talk now. Didn't mean to make you sad though.
I have trouble really commiting to a name. I've had a good 10 or so japanese names that I used for various accounts I have; Reiko, Bakuen Gouka [still don't know what it means though. I know that Gouka means 'hell fire' though], Shinjite, and now ChiisanaHoshi are just a handful of them. I thought that WasabiSushi Sama was a simply brilliant name a few months ago, but I've become rather bored with it already. Today I was thinking of new screen names but I couldn't seem to find one that I really loved. Names are interesting; studies indicate that many do live up to their names. I'm not sure what there's to live up to with the name Michelle though. Names that you've created for yourself can give you an insight into the subconscious. The only trouble is trying to figure out what your subconscious was trying to tell you =). But enough with all of the psychology. Thanks for mentioning me on your xanga, it made me happy. Heh, I'm so simple at times.
hey, that's interesting! :D
Well, I'm NukemVomit! It's from numerous things...kinda a long story. But here's the abbreviated version.
The "Nukem" part: playing/talking about stuff in Duke Nukem a bit before the name was created.
The "Vomit" part: there are a LOT of reasons for this, but the quicker ones are that it's kinda funny and I vomit a lot due to acid reflux. haha.
Anyway, I made this name up for Heat.net and Mplayer and other random online things WAY back about 10-11 years ago, and it's stuck ever since! :D
yes. genki SNORES. it's SO CUTE. heheehehehe
well, my real name, I was named after the 1st girl my mother babysat while she studied in UK, and for "the most beautiful girl in med school who turned green during exams and played the most beautiful piano" which is my dad's version of it.
I love onigiri! I ate a whole heap of it last year...but here's the embarrassing part- I don't know how to make those traingles so my onigiri end up looking like a strange used-to-be-round dented shape of no description. sorry O-man!
Actually, I picked imahima because it is a particularly dasai pick up line that those nampa guys use and once used on me, which I thought was funny. And it rhymes, what's cooler than that!?
About your name...I once had this friend with an amazing Southern accent (from Georgia) and whenever she said onigiri it ended up sounding like o-derogatory term-y, it always kind of upset me when she said that so I confronted her about it once....try as she might, she could not say it in a less shocking way...that drawl is pretty endearing most of the time, though!
I love my name... you almost never run into anyone else in the US with a first name Kaiser. Loved it so much, that's what my handle (Kizyr) is based on--just a crazy alternate spelling; half-based on an obscure video game character (Kazyr) and half based on my own name.
As for Imahima- I think she chose this name to let everyone know she's always free to go out.
As for Hydralisk- Grah, I hated hydralisk dens. Those things always swarmed me in Starcraft.
As for Leopold- ...this post explains a lot why you usually use L. the initial instead of your full name... KF
Leopold? is that still your name?
I am not quite sure how I came up with my xanga name... Sor means crazy in chinese and Jen... Jen is my name... so my xanga name means Crazy Jen... am I really crazy? I guess I can quite crazy sometimes... just ask Chris
Hmm. In hindsight, I rather stupidly used my name as my Xanga handle.
My name itself though has a more interesting story behind it. My family followed the traditional Korean naming scheme. Each clan (branches of a particular last name... Kim for example probably as a couple hundred) has five characters that are used sequentially generation to generation. On top of that, the position of the generational character rotates back and forth, allowing a person to figure out generational differences by up to ten. My generational character is Sun (æ).
The other character is the given character. At a child's birth, each pair of grandparents will give the parents a short list of characters to choose from. My father's side, being of the more superstitious type, went to a fortune teller to get some characters that would bring good fortune. My maternal grandfather however, a scholar with significant background in Chinese classics, chose the characters himself, ones that would have strong meanings paired with my generational character. For me, my parents went with the scholar and selected the character Jun (r).
Thus, my name is ær, meaning "One who sets the standard" or "One who exceeds standards". Humerously though, the meaning of r is the old classical meaning (and the one still used in Korea and Japan, if I remember correctly). In China, r now means "hansome", so my name would mean "the most hansome". Though if I explain it to the Chinese grad students, they can see the other meaning too. I like the former, simply because the latter one seems rather shallow and cheap.
I'm just simplywriting because that's what I do. I simply write. Those muses on my page are almost a replica of my brain activity at the moment.
I talked my daughter into saying "yes" to a Cookies & Cream Pie today because that took the guilt off of me...well, it was supposed to.
I don't think you'd be able to eat it though, it's not dark chocolate. Oh woe is you. Actually, I have the same problem and I do tend to suffer for indulging if I eat too much of it.