Thursday, October 25, 2007

• What My Aching Shoulders Tell Me

  The problem with complacency is that it may ultimately lead to stagnation, a lack of further gain and improvement.  The paradox is that we must learn to be happy with who we are yet at the same time dissatisfied so as to better ourselves.  Or perhaps it does make sense, if one is to look at it from the point of view of a person being happy with the ever state of improvement. 

  Each win, each gain, it's a new high.  I am me, and I am conquering.  I will do everything in life that I strive for, and someday I will earn everything that I want.  I will be good enough. 

  I recall this moment a couple of weeks ago, when all of us were meeting our new counselor for the first time as a group of seniors, and she was relaying to us this story of a boy who had wanted to major in Marine Biology.  Problem was that he wasn't too hot in science and didn't stand out in math classes.  However, he was great at making friends with people and good with words.  He persisted in going to college for Marine Biology.  Then the counselor presented us with two sheets: One sheet was a description of the Marina Biology major while the other one described a Business major.  She asked us which one we thought the boy majored in, given his personality. 

  My response?

  "I think that he will major in whatever he wants to, because I believe that if a person wants something enough and tries hard enough, no matter what, he will overcome.  It doesn't matter what everyone else says, as long as that person works hard and earns it.  Therefore, I believe that he will major in what he wants to major in."

  He majored in business.

  However, I still stand by statement and will defend my standpoint in the belief that I am right.  If he didn't want to major in business, then he wouldn't have; he would have stuck to Marine Biology. 

   

  Anyways.  Life is currently reaching a point of haziness in which there are few moments I truly remember and find myself, in retrospect, to be conscious.  One of those moments would be now, actually.  I'm losing my grip.  It's senioritis.  It's one in the morning on a school night and I still haven't started my homework.

  God save us all. 

  Life's passing me by.

  In the words of Morrissey, "There's more to life than books you know..."   Too bad the line ends with "..but not much more."

  I want to take those goddamn paint buckets and dump them all over the school hallways, watch the colors run down the cold tiles like multicolored cells oozing through locker-lined arteries.  I want to lie down on the grass and stare up at the sky before this beautiful weather fails to shine again until Spring kisses me softly on my hairs and arms.  I want to lie down with James in cars and listen to the disoriented pounding of rain on the glass, light bouncing off in fragmented beams. 

  I want to climb soda machines, pillars, jump into lakes. 

  I want my youth back before it's even gone. 

  • 12:58 AM
  • 1 view
  • 0 eprops
  • 0 comments