Wednesday, March 19, 2008

• Straight outta Stirrups

  In my Film as Literature class, I always rest my feet in that little gap between the seats in the next row. It is a way comfortable to sit and it makes up for the fact that I sit at a desk for left-handed people. Sure, there are free right-handed seats, but I enjoy denying left-handed people the comfort of sitting at a desk made for them. Sometimes when I'm angry, I take a left-handed desk put it in a handicap parking spot and just sit at it for hours. Yea, don't get cocky with me you left-handed/handicap people. Or maybe I sit in a left-handed desk because Miles won't scoot down a seat.

  Anyways, I digress. Sitting with my feet propped up and spread slightly apart while I relax back is a dilemma, because it feels great but is a bit too stirrup-like for my comfort as male. But I'm slightly addicted to it now. I can't sit through class without striking this pose.

  My fear is that when I graduate in May there'll be some innate longing, addiction, or uncontrollable desire to still assume this position. But what if I can't find anything as comfortable, and I'm forced, in the climax of a nervous break down of discomfort, to purchase an examining table? This will cause three major problems.

  First, I'll have to find at least $695 to purchase an examination table with stirrups (see the Jameson Medical page). That doesn't include all the bells and whistles. If I want a half-shelf and drawers, I'll need to fork over an additional $739. Thankfully, the shipping is free. Right there, I'm going to have to blow more than my entire $600 tax-rebate-stimulate-the-economy.

  Second, I'll have to re-arrange my living room, because those damn tables are big. And I doubt friends are going to want to watch movies at my place if they have to see me in front of them with my legs in stirrups for an entire movie. Having a Wii and an X-Box 360 will buy some patience, but unless there is a keg on the back of the table, friends aren't going to tolerate it.

  Third, I'll have to purchase a custom-made laser engraved plaque that explains why I own an examination table and hang in at entrance to my abode. A small one costs $55.00. One with this entire post on it is going to cost a fortune.

  Enough of my worries though.

  Before Spring Break, in Film as Lit class we watched the music video "Straight outta Compton" by the famous NWA. There aren't many classes that can lay such claim to fame, and even more startling is that we watched the video in Oklahoma, the middle of the Bible belt.

  Watching the NWA crew roll through the streets of Compton reminded everyone in class of life in Oklahoma. Everyone knows how tough life in a small rural Oklahoma farm town can be. Shit, sometimes the school bus didn't arrive on time to our three-story secluded country house over looking a beautiful lake, and I had to wait an extra ten minutes. I remember days when my braces hurt and my mom still picked me up from school to take me to trumpet lessons. And once, I made a below average grade on a Geometry test. If I ever meet Euclid, I hope he forgives me.

  The video reminded me of my ambitions to be a rap artist. Then a friend introduced me to a great video. In fact, the video is so entertaining and accurate, I don't have to become the next great rap artist any more.

  Currently Listening Straight Outta Compton By N.W.A see related

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