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| One of those entries on one of those nights. Mhmm..Its 12:39am, and I'm struck with one of those thoughts again. Sudden adrenaline pump turn brainjuice for yet another post like this. Post about life, about myself and just whatever on the edge of my fingertips..
It started off with my drive and desire for IB. So I was thinking - Fuck I really want to get into IB so badly. I don't even know why, I really like the system even though I know it will be more difficult. And I will probably stress out more than I am stressing now but I still want it so badly, I've wanted it since Secondary 2 and I just don't want to divert my attention and desire to something else. Even though I don't really know what the system is all about, I've thought about all the pros and cons of dabbling in such a new and apprehensive education system, but I'm still willing to take a risk and if I am unable to get into the school I'll fucking cry my heart out because at that moment, a pool of regret will drown me.
From "not studying hard enough" to "sleeping too early" to "Not starting earlier" and then zooming into the more specific things like "Why did I go to that party that day?" and "Why did I go online and not do my work...." And that feeling will linger in me for at least a few weeks and that will affect my attitude towards life and everything else for quite a while. Not forgetting puncturing a hole in my heart and weighing down my self-esteem by a ton.
Regret is not part of my dictionary, and I refute its existence in my life.
Someone once said that "whoever said that they lived their life with no regret probably lied"
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>>> But I believe he did not lie. He did not lie at all, regret is inevitable because mistake is transcribed in our DnA - we are fallible we are not impeccable. It just depends on how you change your perspective on your mistake into something you can embrace instead of harping on it and whining about it making it a barrier in your life. Making you think that you've regretted something in life.
The only motto that I plan to live according to in my life is probably to live life with no regret. I always think that if I regret something, that probably means that somewhere along my life I fucked up. And this is my one life, I am not going to look down one day when I'm in heaven and go - I fucking shouldn't have done that or Why did I do that. Every action causes a consequence, but its up to you to decide on how that consequence will change your life.
Even when I've done something what people perceive as morally wrong. But at that moment of time, I did what I felt was right and what I wanted to do. So now, I don't regret it. I consider the instantaneous time lapses in life and not the action. I want to go through life knowing I did what I wanted to do, said what I wanted to say and loved who I wanted to love at that time, that very minute, that very second..
Go through life knowing that I did not let that special second slip pass. Probably explains my straight-forwardness and impulsiveness, which sometimes gets me into a whole load of trouble but I'm okay with it :)
Okay, better get on with that English Comprehension. Geez and whiskers.
00:47am, Nightz. You don't really have to read my "One of those entries..." Because it's just one of those unpremeditated thoughts that I just needed to get it out of my system, then and there at that very second. | | |
| Eyebags, bestfriend for life.There are many choices in a life and sleep is not one them, sleep it not an option. I really have to start remembering to sleep. After 2 cups of coffee, 2 bottles of red bull and 1 bowl of ginseng soup in 2 days, not sleeping for 3 days, I think I'm gonna go sleep and do really badly for Social Studies.
Bye life, bye world bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - I forgot to lift my finger hur hur. Seriously.
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| Can somebody comment me Mrs Neo's email
I need it and I can't access her email on the scgs website cause my mac is simply.. | | |
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