Currently Listening First There Was the Emptiness By Racebannon see related

Don't forget the potential

It's one of those blustery early spring late winter days and I feel like sitting, smoking cigarettes as I write math theorems. Then it hits me, I'm no genius. I don't perform well, amazing test scores, absolutely no performance. I have another statistic to try and sway myself away from self loathing. I've been institutionalized four times in the past three years for numerous reasons. If you have a difficult life, you find youself leaning toward instability. This instability may be a sign of intelligence. Do you find yourself not easily flustered, laughing in your mind at how others anger seems so easily correlated to their own confusion about the matters at hand? Lately, I've been getting these feelings, like I'm losing brain mass. I got tested today by a specialist, and I tested at grade 12 month 8. Sophmore year, around april or may, as I took a test on a computer at Rosecrance, I tested at grade 12 month 9. In the past two years I have shrunk away one month of intelligence. So, what will I do? How will I try and gain back this one month of knowledge? I have to start reading books again, I've conquered the instant gratification needed in my ear drum. Now to move deeper inside, to my actual brain. Start working, start feeding that hungry ghost I deny to myself. Knowledge is absolute power, and power corrupts absolutely.
Thanks school house rock!