Thursday, August 23, 2007
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Fast Foward to the Future...
Naila died when I gave birth..I became a mom..I wasn't a child anymore..and boy did I have an attitude. At first I thought it was the hormones but it wasn't. Mely was born when I came home and faced my child for the first time.
Mely wasn't submissive..Mely was outspoken, opinionated, and moody. Mely wanted to go to school and do good. Mely had dreams, Mely had no "friends"..Mely knew what she wanted and how she was going to get there..Mely got played over and over..Mely at first did not learn her lesson..Mely 1 yr later met Denny...fell inlove..gave her heart, believed with her heart he was the love of her life..Mely grew as a person...2 yrs later..
Mely graduated wit a GED Diploma..highest score in the class of 2005. Mely found a job...Mely loves to work..Mely gained weight.
Mely finally got a computer thanks to Denny..she was so happy that she wanted to move to Virginia with him..So inlove was Mely she dreampt of the day where they would be together for life...
Denny lied to Mely...Denny's family did not like Mely..his mom hate her...Denny moved to Texas..forgot about Mely..Mely is now heartbroken, left alone..Mely has no friends, family..has issues..still lives at home in the same apartment with her mom....23yrs later...How pathetic I feel as I write this..but I needed to..and I could care less what people think of me. I could care less..this is it..this is my now..this is where I vent..where I expose my soul..This is me....THIS IS MELY...
Not one person I know in person knows I have this account..Not one...This is only for my eyes to see and your eyes to read.
Right now all I can say is that I am trying so hard to get out of here ...this place...for my son...
There is not one night where I don't cry myself to sleep...
Oh how have I made it out alive..Jesus..Despite all the hardships and everthing I have and am going through I am back in church..The same church where I found God....Its different now.. I go whenever I can...Sometimes I can't find nothing to wear. No one talks to me..I know people murmur behind my back. The first time I went there after so long this lady said she didn't recognize me cause of how fat I was....Yeah I know..what a way to encourage I know...
Despite all that, I still go to church and lift up my tired arms..And smile at the world even though inside I am torn apart..
Torn apart no one cares..torn apart I am alone...But the only thing that keeps me going is The Lord, prayer and Praise....Right now I am in the process of swtiching jobs and going back to school. I recieve no financial aid so I have to pay everything out of my pocket. I am trying to lose weight..I am trying very hard to be positive and not sorround myself with people who only know how to put me down ....I am trying to pick up the pieces of my broken heart and I'm trying to deal with the fact that I need to start over...
So why Road Trip Girl...cause I love them...because I get away from the city..because I love going to new places..Because I love to explore..I love the peace that nature brings..I enjoy the tranquility the art of God offers...I haven't been on a Road trip since January..for financial reasons, but the minute I get the opportunity I am going FAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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