Friday, September 07, 2007

  • my reality check bounced

    Well, I had a thoroughly wretched day, beginning with the realization that I've apparently lost a subscriber over that last entry--I thought that one might be a little too angry for the usual tone of my blog--and ending with a prime example of what I hate most about my job--the necessity to go into a room full of teenage boys and tell them they're being bad and have to leave the library. I need a hug, and I miss my mother more than I have in months.

    I do worry that my friends will run out of patience for my leisurely cataloging of my issues.   Ariadne, my oldest friend who reads this guff, can probably testify that I've gotten in trouble for this kind of thing before: I bitch and moan for the sport of it, and sometimes someone will take me too seriously and think that I'm genuinely distressed when I'm not, or not very much.

    Conversely, people tend to think I'm joking when I'm genuinely distressed.

    I wasn't trying to complain about my lack of a love life, just to describe it. I picked poor terms to do so, I guess. I'm trying to resist the temptation to contact my late subber to try and explain myself, because after all, this is just a superficial contact on the internet, not a significant relationship for either of us. I'm hurt that she misunderstood what I was getting at, but that's just a blow to my pride; it's my issue rather than hers, which is why I'm blogging about it instead.

    So am I being too whiny? Do I need to cut it out now, and talk about Weird Al for a while?*

    I wonder if I should put a disclaimer in the header or the sidebar, or the "about me" section of my profile here, to the effect that this is where I bitch and moan, and readers should feel free to ignore any subject that I've brought up before because I'll probably be saying much the same thing again. But that's not entirely accurate either, because sometimes I am genuinely distressed, and can't resist saying so to whatever audience I have here just as an attempt to connect with somebody real. There are real people on both ends of this, something I need to keep in mind before I blithely consign anyone's well-meant advice to hell when I happen not to agree with it.

    Maybe I should just announce on a post-by-post basis when I'm bitching, not complaining.


    *I was amused to see Al referenced in an online article about film noir. The author mentioned great mysteries, and gave three examples: The Maltese Falcon, The Big Sleep, and why Weird Al Yankovic doesn't age like the rest of us.

Comments (10)

  • I think that's the downside to the annonyminity of the internet.  People tend to do bolder things; someone in real life wouldn't "click you off" because they didn't agree with you.  This would be a time to consider, perhaps you're better off. :)
  • I reread that post, because I don't remember it as angry, and I have to say that I still can't see what could have been offensive about it.

    My position on the question of whining in blogs (and I've thought about it a lot and blogged about it quite a bit) is "It's my journal; I can whine if I want to." Unlike the physical world, where people can't leave if they find my whining boring or depressing, the blog audience is entirely free to go elsewhere if they are not in the mood for whatever we're writing.

    Not that you've been whining.

  • You should write whatever you want in your blog. I get that sometimes too, when I feel like I'm just self-deprecatingly discussing my personal foibles and challenges, and someone suddenly pops up in the comment section and says I should make an appointment with the nearest therapist as soon as possible. It's a little disconcerting. My take on those people is that they are unfamiliar with the exercise of writing in a journal and engaging in a little introspection. Don't take it too hard.
  • Though weirdly my comment from yesterday disappeared, which may mean you'd prefer I didn't comment on here. Yikes!! If so, I'm sorry! If not, it's weird that my comment didn't register.
  • I think you should be able to write whatever the fuck you want.  When someone signs up to be your subscriber they sort of go into it with the disclaimer about talking about yourself, your life, and everyday thoughts!  However, some people are not as retrospective and that's okay.  The main this is that it's YOUR blog.  Don't let this person or anyone for that matter consume you, seriously.  I totally dig your background, btw :)  Elezabeth Kenny said, "He who angers you - conquers you."  Don't let that happen either.  You are a strong person and I can see that in your writing :) Be who you are!  Shine your brightest star.  xo amy
  • I saw UHF this weekend and thought of you.

    As for the lost sub, you already know that this is your space and you shouldn't censor yourself to please other people.

  • I agree, while it must be disheartening to lose a reader, it is your blog and you are entitled to blog whatever is on your mind. I find it cathartic to whine in my blogs and I really don't care if people read it or not or get pissed off or not. And for the record--I didn't see anything vaguely upsetting in your blog about a soul mate. I'm married, but I agree that I do not think there is just 1 person out there for everyone. And your reasonings for not being in a relationship are very sound intelligent ones. Kudos to you.
  • I wouldn't worry about your former subscriber.  Leaving is not a reflection of you. 
  • Somebody unsubbed over that entry? WTF? There was nothing wrong with that entry -- you were just expressing yourself. And it's more than possible that the person unsubbed for other reasons: culling his/her list because it's too long, decided s/he is only going to read blogs about curly-headed alligators from now on -- whatever. Fugeddaboutit!
  • wait. WHAT? What exactly was offensive about that entry? Oh, hang on, the "I didn't care much for the advice" part, I bet. Some people can't stand to think that their advice wasn't golden, the cure for all that ailed you. Well, screw that. Sometimes? A person doesn't want advice. And sometimes the person giving advice doesn't know the person they're trying to give it to nearly well enough to do so.

    Maybe, we shouldn't try to give each other advice at all. I'm going on that theory. ... now if only I could actually, you know, stop handing out advice left and right.

    sigh.

    Anyhow, yes, you are a kvetching hobbyist. Part of your charm, actually. If you didn't kvetch and grump about something, you'd be altogether too pleasant and easygoing (on the surface) to be a believable human being, in my humble opinion. So kvetch away!

    Also? libraries are sometimes scary places. TRU FAX. Not talking about it doesn't change the fact that the problem exists. And I, for one, would like to know about your life, not just read beautifully written essays on high-minded concepts, although those can be fun, too, sometimes.

    And in conclusion, HI!
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