Sunday, January 27, 2008

  • Do you bottle up anger, or do you let it out, and how?

    When I was working in the used book shop in Chapel Hill, the owner went on a month-long tour of Asia, and in his absence one of my coworkers became a real pain in the butt.  The owner had left an extremely competent and experienced manager in charge, but this one guy seemed to assume that because he was kind of a pet of the owner's, he didn't have to do what the manager said.  She could ask him to do something as simple as change the light bulb at the head of the stairs to the basement (where we kept the paperback section), and he just told her she had mistaken him for somebody who cared.  When a software problem wiped out a day's cataloguing--everything over $5 was catalogued for our website--and we had to pull everything we'd just shelved without the computer to tell us where it was, this dingleberry just swept the floor and went home early.

    At the same time, he seemed to have the idea that he was the only one of the lot of us who ever did a lick of work, and the whole store would collapse without him.

    The last straw was shortly after the boss got back from Asia.  Dingleberry went to lunch--we only got half an hour for lunch--and two hours later called to say he was sick and wasn't coming back that day.  The manager told him not to come back at all.  He called the owner at home, and the owner promptly rescinded his firing.

    The rest of the staff was furious, including me.  I took to referring to Dingleberry as "that whiny-assed little pissant," and this kind of language coming from me startled everybody.

    They were surprised, of course, because they'd never seen me get angry in the whole year I'd worked there.  A couple of people had previously worked with me at another bookstore in town, and only one of them had seen me angry in the three years I'd worked there--I'd chewed out a coworker for sitting behind the counter reading Foxtrot cartoons for days while I shelved and straightened and pulled returns.   

    I now work at a public library, and in the seven years I've been there, only a couple of coworkers have seen me raise my voice. 

    I get irritated a lot, usually by teenage patrons with no volume control, but it takes a lot to make me angry.  I don't let it out easily or often, with the result that when I do finally get pushed too far there's an explosion of epic proportions and I frighten people who thought they knew me.

    I just answered this Featured Question, you can answer it too!

Comments (6)

  • Thanks for the warning !!!

    The missus said the other day that I seemed to be very even tempered.  Obviously I have mellowed a lot since my youth!

  • I see you, and raise you that last paragraph!

  • I come from a long line of very angry people.  When the straw snaps it can really snap.  I've been known to not recall my actions after losing it. (I call it my "white rage")  However, it has been a very long time since that's happened...a VERY long time I'm most proud to say.   Too long even to recall the last time!  Over the years (almost 50 now ..yuk!) I've taught myself restraint.  It now takes quite a bit to make me lose it.  I often surprise even myself at how much! 

    I try to live by the old cliche...."life's too short..."

    Working with "that whiny-assed little pissant," could be difficult though....

    peace

  • The last line describes me perfectly these days. Sometimes it's fun to be scary.

  • That's how I am. It takes a lot to get me actually mad, but you'd better take cover if I do.

  • Just read this, and it reminded me of your question.

    "According to University of Arkansas psychologist Jeffrey M. Lohr, research has consistently shown that venting anger is at best ineffective and in some cases is even harmful. Lohr and his colleagues reviewed the research on anger expression going back as far as the 1950's to identify the efficacy of venting as an anger management strategy." It makes people feel worse, basically. So I think that if I had a job that caused me to experience anger beyond mild irritation, I would change jobs. At home, I sometimes snap at people from irritation, but I always regret it.
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